To Love and be Loved
by Nightborn Dreamer
Summary: After a bad breakup, Naruto moves into a basement apartment with Sasuke Uchiha, a very distant man. Little did they know the affect they would have on each other and their lives.
1. Hidden

**To Love and be Loved**

Chapter 1: Hidden

Pairing: Eventual NarutoxSasuke, past NarutoxSakura

Rating: Right now it's like G, but it'll build up to M(A)

Summary: After a bad breakup, Naruto moves into a basement apartment with a Sasuke Uchiha, a very distant man. Little did they know the affect they would have on each other and their lives.

Author's Note: This is going to be my first NarutoxSasuke story that's long. I'm anticipating 20-30 chapters. I hope you guys will enjoy the ride! This story has been haunting my mind so I know I'll enjoy writing it. ^-^

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.

**~*NS*~**

Naruto sat on the back of the, very empty, city bus, playing on his Smartphone. He answered a few questions from his friends about hanging out and how he was doing, trying to sound as normal as he possibly could even though he really wasn't in the mood to talk to anyone. After answering the last one, he looked out the window and, seeing he was as close as to where he needed to be, turned his phone off and pulled on the yellow string above the window to alert the driver to stop. The little beeping noise went off and he stood up, holding onto the seat in front of him to keep his balance.

He got off the bus and was greeted by a cool breeze. It was late spring and the leaves were back on the trees, flowers bloomed in people's gardens and there were even still lilacs still in bloom on some bushes. There weren't any stores anywhere he could see, simply houses that weren't too nice or too dirty. There weren't any people outside, probably due to the overcast. The sky was dark and grey and it looked like it would rain soon. Plus, it was still early and the kids were probably still in school and their parents were probably at work or enjoying a quiet house without them, and the ones without kids...well, who knows. It was 1:00pm on a Thursday; they could be at work or still sleeping for all he knew. Naruto loved laying in bed for hours after he woke up, then dragging himself out to make himself a bag of ramen for breakfast, something Sakura...

Pushing the thought away, Naruto turned focused on where he was going, keeping his mind pleasantly blank. After a few turns, he went into a dirt alley, following the direction he had scribbled down on a piece of paper, which he was holding up to look at. Apparently the apartment he was looking for wasn't really easy to find. He was in a neighborhood of nothing but houses and a lot of trees and bushes, nothing really stood out and all of the streets looked the same. It was almost like a maze. After passing about three houses, Naruto turned to see a man crouching outside waiting for him, his back against the house. He didn't have anything in hand and was simply staring blankly in front of him, expressionless. He had dark black hair and fair skin, but that was all Naruto took note of. He walked up to him and, upon hearing him, the man looked up.

"Sasuke Uchiha?" Naruto asked.

"Hn. You're late."

Naruto shrugged. "Well, the bus was late."

Sasuke stood up and grabbed the handle of the door on the side of the...well, it _looked_ like a fairly big house, but it was actually an apartment building. Sasuke didn't really say anything, simply opened the door and walked inside. Naruto followed him, down the stairs, remembering that the apartment Sasuke lived in was a basement one. At the bottom of the stairs, there was another door. This time a brown one (the one outside had been white), Sasuke unlocked it and said, "I already have a key for you, so if you want to move in today you can."

"You don't have to meet anyone else?"

Sasuke just shook his head and continued in. When he entered the apartment, there was a small hallway that lead into it. Sasuke took his shoes off and put them to the side, so Naruto did the same, not wanting to track dirt in. The floor for the hallway was wood, but at the end he saw a white tiled floor. At the end of the hallway, they turned to the left and into the kitchen.

"The bathroom is here." Sasuke opened a white door (that was on the left and to the left of the counter) to show the bathroom...that had another white door inside. "That leads into my room." Sasuke's eyes narrowed. "If you're to live here, you must _never_ open that door. Agreed?"

"Agreed," Naruto said easily enough, not knowing why he would even want to.

Sasuke closed the door and led Naruto out of the kitchen. The floor had light brown carpet and they weren't in a narrow space anymore. The hallway and the kitchen had been fairly narrow, now it stretched out to the left, there was another door on the left side and the right was more room, probably the living room. There was a brown door straight ahead and Sasuke opened it, saying that that would be Naruto's room. There was a little window at the top where he could see the dirt and grass from outside. He doubt it opened. The room was pretty decently sized, shaped like a box with another door to that right that was probably a closet.

Sasuke closed the door and walked closer to the right, but stopped and pointed to the brown door at the left wall. "That's my room." Then he pointed to the right where there was nothing but a sofa on the right, back against the wall, Naruto's room on the other side, and on the left was a mahogany table that Sasuke probably ate dinner at. There were some newspapers stacked on top of it too.

"No TV?"

"The TV belonged to my last roommate. He took it with him." Sasuke leaned against the table and crossed his arms. "So, do you want to move in or not?"

"Don't you have some questions to ask first?"

"Fine. Do you have a job?"

"Yeah."

"Can you pay rent and the bills? The electricity and water bills are separate. We don't have cable or internet, just so you know."

"If I get that though, would you help pay for it?" Naruto asked, already planning on getting it.

"We can split the bill evenly."

"That's fine with me." Naruto scratched the back of his head. "Yeah. I'll move in." He wasn't sure how to sound when saying that, if he was expected to sound excited or happy or grateful, but Sasuke didn't comment on his lack of enthusiasm and just dug into his jean pocket for Naruto's key, giving it to him.

"Don't give anyone else a copy of the key. I don't care if the other person is your girlfriend or boyfriend or best friend forever. Got it?" Sasuke narrowed his eyes, but Naruto was already shaking his head.

"Don't have to worry about that," Naruto mumbled, pocketing his key.

Without another word, Sasuke went into his room, closing the door. Naruto sighed. He really didn't have much of an opinion about his new roommate, only that he seemed rather distant and cold, but Naruto didn't have the energy to dwell on it. Maybe if he had met him a couple of weeks or months prior, he might have, but at the moment, he just wanted to move and get settled and not think about anyone else. With that thought in mind, he left the apartment to go pick up some things.

**~*NS*~**

"I'm back!" Naruto called as he entered a small one story house. He kept the white door behind him open, outside of the door was a backroom where the washer and drier were, as well as another door (and screen door) which led to the driveway. He went to the fridge, the carpet beneath his feet a lighter shade of blue green. Opening the fridge, he grabbed a can of Orange Crush pop. A man with long white, messy hair pulled back in a pony tail came in.

Naruto looked at the man's attire, a pair of grey sleeping pants and a red shirt.

"Damn Jiraiya, did you just get out of bed?" Naruto grinned.

"Don't judge brat. You know that if you didn't have to meet that guy today you'd still be in bed too. Besides, I'm a writer, this is our life. We sleep until noon and then write until we pass out." The man chuckled, shifting his weight on his left leg. "So how'd it go anyway? Did you get the apartment or do you gotta wait?"

"I got it. I was actually hoping you'd let me borrow your truck so I can start taking everything over here."

Jiraiya's eyebrows shot up. "What, you want to move now? What's the rush? And don't you have to work tonight?"

"I told you, I got today off. I work _tomorrow_ night. Is it common for writer's to have a bad sense of time too? Do you even know what month it is?" Naruto laughed softly at his own joke.

"I was just saying. You don't have to rush anything if you don't want to. You haven't even talked about your break up with Sa-"

"There's nothing to talk about. Look, I'm really grateful you let me crash on your couch for the past couple of weeks, but I need my own space. I want my own room again – even more than that, I want a _bed_ to sleep in." Naruto laughed, though it sounded empty and fake even to himself. "That couch is like, half my size. It'd be nice to wake up and not ache everywhere, yanno?" Naruto sighed and looked at Jiraiya, one of the two men that always seemed to take him in when he had nowhere else to go. "I just wanna get settled in as fast as possible. So...will you let me borrow your truck?"

Sighing himself, Jiraiya waved his hand. "Yeah, yeah. Just let me get the keys. And because I'm so nice, I'll even help you drag your shit out. Seriously, for a single guy, you have way too much crap."

Even though it was meant as an obvious joke, being referred to as a "single guy" stung a little, but it didn't look like Jiraiya noticed, and Naruto was glad for that.

Forcing a grin as he walked to where his stuff was, he shouted, "Thanks old man!"

While they were loading up the back of the truck, Jiraiya asked about his roommate.

"What do you wanna know about him? Not that I can answer, probably, since I don't know him myself."

"What's he look like?"

Naruto opened his mouth to answer, but when he thought back on it...he realized he really didn't remember. He had seen his roommate, had looked right at him, but his face was a blur already. He just hadn't been focused on him. He hadn't been focused on much except what he was saying, and even then, he was only paying attention to distract himself. Hearing him, but not really listening.

"He...has black hair," Naruto said, remembering that much. "And he was pale. I didn't really notice much else."

Jiraiya sighed and shook his head. "What have I told you about paying closer attention to your surroundings?"

"I thought that was only when there were pretty women around," Naruto grinned.

"Heh, true, true."

He asked more questions about his roommate, but other than his name, Naruto really didn't have anything to say about him. When the back of the truck was full, Naruto left, alone, trying to remember what his roommate's face looked like, but he just couldn't remember.


	2. Memories of the Past

**To Love and be Loved**

Chapter 2: Memories of the Past

Pairing: Eventual NarutoxSasuke, past NarutoxSakura

Rating: Right now it's like G, but it'll build up to M(A)

Warning: There is a lot of mention of past NaruSaku in this chapter.

Author's Note: After some thought, I've decided to write all of my responses to the reviews at the bottom. Also, this story will not contain Sakura bashing, as I rather adore the character. This chapter is all about learning a little more about Naruto pre-story (though certainly not everything). The next chapter will be in Sasuke's perspective (still third person).

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.

**~*NS*~**

Naruto had just finished putting the sheets on his bed. Throwing his lone white pillow on it, he straightened and looked at the two boxes he had left to unpack as well as a trash bag full of clothes. He frowned as he realized he'd have to save up for a new dresser. He had gotten rid of his last dresser since he and Sakura were going to share one (a very large one) when they moved in together, but...well...that wasn't going to happen anymore. He had allowed Sakura to keep the dresser they bought together, even though she had said he could have it, and then he had walked out without a word. Maybe she hadn't kept it though. Maybe she pawned it off... He supposed he couldn't blame her if she did.

Rubbing his face with his hand, he decided to not think about that and moved toward his garbage bag of clothes. He couldn't very well remember if they were clean or not, so he sniffed in the bag and reached in to feel them and decided they were good to wear. Closing the bag back up, he moved on to one of his last boxes and froze when he saw a pink heart shaped sticker on it. He...didn't remember putting that there. Hesitantly, he opened the box and saw a note inside. Biting his lip, he took the note and stared at it. He really shouldn't open it. It was obviously from Sakura, his ex. They had broken up three weeks ago, but it was still on his mind. He scolded himself for it. He should already have moved on. According to some of his friends, he should have moved on after the second day and gotten laid. It wasn't that Naruto was pining, at least he didn't _feel_ like he was, but he had been loyal to this woman for years and...he hadn't been expecting the breakup. Sakura, apparently, had been thinking about it for awhile. He scolded himself for not noticing _that_ as well.

Falling down from his crouching position into a crossed legged position, Naruto opened up the note and saw little hearts scribbled everywhere. The note read: "_I can't wait to live with you! Love you!"_

He wondered what Sakura thought as she wrote that. Did she..._really_ love him? Did she like him? Did she...already have it in her mind that he wasn't the one for her? Where had it all gone wrong? Naruto...still wasn't sure how he really felt about it all. He was hurt and admittedly lonely but...he had also been relieved when she broke up with him. Why? He had wanted to be with her for so long. No one meant more to him than her. But...things hadn't been going well at the end. They had stopped being intimate with each other almost half a year ago, not including the little touches here and there. He couldn't remember the last time they had sex. Moving in together was...almost like a last attempt to make things okay, to move forward and convince themselves they were going to work everything out and end up together and that it was...right.

Naruto thought of the beginning of the relationship. Sakura had been his first real relationship. He had dated a couple of other girls in high school, but none of the relationships lasted long. He believed three weeks was his longest relationship before Sakura, whom he dated for four years. It had been...so very awkward at the beginning. Neither of them knew how to act around each other. Sakura had been his friend since he was in elementary school. He had started to crush on her in middle school, but had never thought it would happen, then suddenly she asked him out not long after his eighteenth birthday, on October 11th. He had felt a mix of things then too. It was always so confusing between them. He had wanted to be with her for so long, but when it happened it was just a confusing rollercoaster of emotion he just didn't understand. Was it the same for Sakura?

These were feelings he had never explained to anyone, including Sakura. He didn't want them. He had convinced himself it wouldn't last, that his feelings would change and he'd be nothing but happy to be with her. He would marry Sakura and live happily ever after. Wasn't that what Sakura always said? Sakura was always a sucker for love stories, and she always said everyone ended up with the person they were meant to be with – if they wanted to be with anyone – and live happily with that person. Naruto had just assumed Sakura was that person. Why _wouldn't_ she be? She was the most amazing person he had ever known. No one had captured his attention like she had.

Naruto hadn't realized his shoulders had sagged and that he was hunching and frowning. He supposed he should throw the note away. He crumpled it up in his hand, but when he looked in the box, he saw a lot of the things Sakura had given him. He remembered packing it all, but he must have left it open. Sakura must have stumbled upon it and taped it shut after putting her note inside.

Seeing everything in there, the presents from when they were dating and even before then, the love letters...it all hurt to see. He felt a strange emptiness in his heart and he also felt...lonely. It was stupid, and he told himself he had no reason to feel heartbroken when he had also felt relieved, but he _did_. He had lost a long relationship he had been so sure he wanted, and not only that, but he had also lost a friend. He hadn't spoken with Sakura since the breakup. He wasn't sure what to say to her, or how to talk to her anymore, which was...sad, because she had been the closest thing he had to a best friend and now she was seemingly gone and out of his life. He wasn't sure if she'd ever come back.

_I wish we'd never dated at all_, he thought sadly to himself. _If we hadn't, Sakura would probably be here helping me unpack right now._

Naruto threw the crumpled up piece of paper across the room. He knew he should throw the entire box of things away too, including the stuff she had given him as a friend. He grabbed it, intent on throwing it out, but couldn't move for some reason. Biting his lip, he instead went through the items, spending the next twenty minutes reading old letters, looking at old (bad) drawings he did and paintings she did (they had gone through an art phase), and little items Sakura had given him, such as an orange fox stuffed animal. She had given him that on his seventh birthday. So many years of love and friendship were in this box. As much as he knew giving the stuff away and throwing it out would help him move on, he just couldn't bring himself to part with a box full of memories and feelings that had brought him so much joy, even if it no longer did. So, instead of doing that, he went to his closet. He opened the brown wooden door and slid the box in with his foot, not stopping until it hit the back right corner, then closed the door.

Just before he reached the other box, his phone went off on his bed. Grabbing it and flopping down on it, he saw that he had a new text from his friend Shikamaru.

_Shikamaru: Hey, Chouji and I are going out to eat. You can come if you want._

Naruto tapped the side of his phone with his finger, thinking. He really didn't want to go out. He wasn't really in the mood to see or talk to anyone, especially since he'd feel he'd have to be his usual self, which was happy and talkative and hyper. It wasn't as if Naruto was the type of guy to dwell on things, he really wasn't, but couldn't he just want some alone time and not have all of his friends worry about him and frantically try and spend time with him. He swore he never got this many texts, calls, or invites to hang out when he and Sakura were together. It was almost as if his friends thought he needed to be constantly distracted and not allow him to sit down with nothing but his own thoughts for comfort. It wasn't as if he didn't appreciate the fact that they thought they were helping him, but sometimes even he wanted to be by himself.

In the end, he texted back that he would go and asked where to meet them. They offered to pick him up, but Naruto was reluctant to give away his address for some reason. His new home wasn't particularly easy to find, nor was his street. The neighborhood really was like a maze and it was easy to get lost in if you didn't know what turns to make. It was sort of...comforting. It was almost as if he was living in a secret location no one could find him. He would of course tell his friends where he lived eventually, but for the moment he wanted to take comfort in his secret hideaway.

After Shikamaru texted back where to go, Naruto looked up the bus schedule on his phone.

When he left his room, he didn't see his roommate, though he had heard him leave that morning, probably for work. When he had come back to his apartment yesterday to bring in his things from the truck, his roommate was in his room and didn't come out. He didn't offer to help him bring in his things or anything. Not that Naruto wanted or needed the help, but it was something _he'd_ do for someone moving in. Sasuke was...almost eerily quiet. It was a bit strange, but Naruto wasn't sure what to even say to him, so it was probably for the best.

**~*NS*~**

When he got to the restaurant, he met Shikamaru and Chouji inside. He was a little nervous since they were good friends with Ino, who Sakura was living with. For some reason, it was all he could think on the way there. He wondered if they'd bring them up, but that didn't really sound like them. Shikamaru hated anything even slightly dramatic and Chouji was probably just thinking about what he was going to have to eat.

"Hey guys," Naruto waved with a smile as he walked up to them.

Shikamaru raised his hand in greeting while Chouji greeted him more excitedly. The waitress led them to a table by the window and there was a view of their city's river outside of it.

"This is almost romantic," Naruto grinned.

"Please. You know I don't do romance," Shikamaru replied. It was true. Shikamaru was the least romantic person Naruto had ever met. It was no wonder he and Ino hadn't worked out. They had dated a little bit in high school, but then broke up due to them both wanting different things in life. Ino wanted romance, a very handsome man who could model if he wanted, and marriage and kids. Shikamaru...well, he didn't want any of that and while he wasn't unattractive, beautiful wasn't a word that would describe him very well either.

Of course, just as Sakura had told him, it all worked out for the best. Ino was still dating around until she could find her Mr. Right, and Shikamaru was in some type of relationship with a woman named Temari (who he had met through Naruto) who was just as unromantic as he was. She also didn't want to ever get married or have kids, so they were on the same boat with that as well. Due to this, they also didn't define their relationship, but they also didn't see anyone else.

"So how's your new apartment? Are you settled in yet?" Shikamaru asked.

"Yeah. Well, mostly. I gotta bring in my TV and get a new dresser. I only got one box left to unpack though."

"I would have offered to help you move, but...well..."

"Too troublesome?" Naruto joked, knowing how lazy his friend tended to be.

"I just really hate moving. I don't even wanna do that shit when I move."

"Oh trust me, I know. I'm sure Chouji and Temari _especially_ know."

"Temari won't help me move."

"He just makes me do it," Chouji complained. "Though he buys me pizza to make up for it."

"At least he keeps you nice and fed while you move his stuff for him," Naruto joked. Chouji continued to complain, since he could be just as lazy, but deep down they were...best friends. They had been best friends before Naruto had even met them, which he did in middle school when he was twelve. Watching them, Naruto was reminded of how he really didn't have a best friend. He had a lot of good friends, but no best friend. The closest, as he had thought earlier, had been Sakura. He supposed after her it was another boy who he had grown up with, but that didn't really seem right there. Naruto didn't have a lot of fun with that friend; he just felt that that person was the one who understood him the best. Not that he understood him perfectly, but it was the closest anyone had ever gotten. No one Naruto had met had ever really known and understood him completely, even Sakura. Actually, that had been a problem in their relationship – their lack of understanding each other.

"So are you going to tell us where you live?" Shikamaru pulled him out of his thoughts by asking.

"Huh? Oh. Uhh..." Naruto hesitated, not wanting to lie but not wanting anyone to know where he lived right away. Luckily the waitress came back to give them their drinks and take their order, so he didn't have to decide on what to do. After they ordered and she left, it wasn't brought up again.

"So...have you guys hung out with Ino lately?" Naruto brought up. He wasn't sure why he had asked. In fact, on the bus ride there he had promised himself he wouldn't bring up anything relating to Sakura, but apparently his mouth had other ideas.

"I hung out with her last week," Shikamaru answered.

"I couldn't go though. I had to work with my dad, so Ino kept sending me pictures of what they were doing to torture me."

"She hasn't seen you in awhile, that's why."

"Eh, all she does is nag me about my diet."

Shikamaru shrugged as he took a drink of his Coke. "She nags everyone. We haven't dated in over five years and she still nags me about how I dress and act."

"Now you have Temari to do that," Chouji pointed out with a bit of humor.

"Eh, she just nags me on how I act."

"It's cool how you guys are still friends though," Naruto smiled. "You and Ino, I mean. And Temari doesn't seem to care at all."

"She doesn't." Shikamaru gave Naruto a more serious look. "I'm sure you'll be friends again too one day. When you're both ready."

Naruto bit his lip, not sure what to say to that.

"How's your roommate? Is he a cool guy? Or a girl? You haven't told us anything," Chouji pointed out, changing the subject. He never did like tense discussions. Naruto didn't blame him.

"Ah, you know, you're the second person to ask and I still don't know what to say. I've only been there one night and I've only seen him when he gave me the key. He just kind of keeps to himself and stays in his room. I think he's at work now? Or, well, I heard him this morning when I was still in bed. He left to go somewhere and he didn't come back. I assume he's at work."

"So you don't know anything about this guy?" Chouji pressed. "That's a little weird. I mean...you like...love people right? You're always getting all up in everyone's business. I would have thought you'd have his whole life story by now."

"Heh, well, there's still time for that." Honestly though, Naruto was a little happy his roommate was so reserved. It gave Naruto time to be alone with his thoughts and, who knows, maybe his roommate needed to be alone with his too. The thought did spark a little curiosity in him though, and he began to wonder if that was really the case.

The conversation then went to how his friends' week went. They asked Naruto about his life as well, but he really didn't have much to say. After they ate, Naruto had to go to work, not rejecting their offer to give him a ride.

The whole time he just watched them, wondering what it was like to have someone, a best friend or a lover or both, who truly understood him.

**~*NS*~**

When Naruto got back to the apartment after his nightshift at about 11pm, he saw Sasuke in the kitchen grabbing a bottle of water.

"Hey, you're back."

"Hn. I got back at three."

Not long after Naruto left.

"Oh, did you go to work?"

Sasuke gave him a look, as if he was wondering why someone would ask him that.

"Yeah."

"Oh, I just got off work too," Naruto replied lamely.

"That's nice." And then Sasuke left, and Naruto heard his door open and shut and sighed. His roommate was really anti-social, it seemed. He wondered what kind of job he had and if he had to deal with people. For some reason, even though he didn't know him, the thought of Sasuke working with people with a smile on his face and pleasant attitude felt weird to him. He just couldn't see it.

When he got back to his room, he threw his shirt and pants off and fell into his bed in just his boxers, thinking about his roommate's appearance.

_Well, he's definitely a pretty boy_, he thought to himself, but he hadn't picked up on anything else, not even what he was wearing. Usually he really _was_ more observant of the people he met, but he just couldn't focus. He was tired too. All he knew about his roommate so far was that he was Asian, had dark hair, fair skin, and was a pretty boy.

Well, there was always more time to learn more about him. Maybe one day he'd even learn things other than surface appearances. Maybe...

With that thought in mind, he rolled on his stomach and went to sleep.

* * *

As mentioned above, I'll be answering any questions/comments and such down here. Also a collective thank you to everyone because you're all awesome and typing down your pen names helps me remember them XD! I used to do this for all of my original fiction on FP – I saw other writers doing it and it looked fun – and since I miss it I decided to start back up since this is a longer story. This is also useful in case some of you have questions, I can answer them here so all can see in case they have the same question. 3 Unless you'd rather I answer via PM, then just be sure to ask me in your review.

Thank you: **JuliaT-chan, Dragon77, Guest, Akira Nishikawa, , Haruka Uzumaki21, Nessie002**

**Akira Nishikawa: **Oh! You know...this is actually going to be a NaruSasuNaru...SasuNaruSasuNaruetc lol. I totally forgot to mention that anywhere, since I don't think about it. I wonder if I should though... But yeah, this will have NaruSasu in it...but it'll have SasuNaru as well. ^_^;; Should probably mention that somewhere...

**Nessie002: **Ah ha, it'll be a little angst-y, but I'm not sure it's going to be too much? Hmmm. I guess I'll let you guys be the judge of that. :3


	3. Comfort Noise

**To Love and be Loved**

Chapter 3: Comfort Noise

Pairing: Eventual NarutoxSasuke, past NarutoxSakura

Rating: Right now it's like G, but it'll build up to M(A)

Warning: Errr, Sasuke's not in a good place? That's all I can think of for this chapter.

Author's Note: And now we have Sasuke's chapter :D!

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.

**~*NS*~**

Exiting his room with a small yawn, Sasuke went over to the couch where he laid down. He covered his eyes with his arm and mentally went over what he had to do that day.

Honestly, all he really had to do was wait for the cable guy to come. Naruto had brought his TV Sunday, though he had apparently called about it on Friday. It was Thursday now, a week after Naruto moved in, and the cable guy was supposed to be there at around 2pm. Naruto would have waited himself, but he got called into work unexpectedly. To say Sasuke had been surprised (and greatly annoyed) when Naruto started pounding (that might have been a bit of an over exaggeration) on his bedroom door to wake him up at seven in the morning would be an understatement. Sasuke absolutely hated being woken up, so it took all of his willpower not to hurt his roommate in some way, but after listening to his quick explanation he decided not to hold it against him (he needed him to make rent and pay certain bills after all).

Sasuke didn't really have an opinion of his roommate. The other man seemed to keep to himself and that was just fine with Sasuke. There were times, though, like that second night, when he seemed to almost try and drag Sasuke into some mundane conversation about nothing, which Sasuke had zero interest in.

At least he was still a step up from his last roommate. _That_ guy was annoying as hell.

Sasuke rolled and curled up on his side. He hated being home...but he also hated work and there wasn't really anyone for him to spend time with, no one he _wanted_ anyway. The more the years passed, the more isolated Sasuke became, until he was living in his little basement apartment, cut off from everyone, even the man who took him in and _insisted_ they keep in contact. Sasuke would say he felt guilty for cutting him out of his life but...well, he didn't. He supposed that deep down he really was as much of a heartless asshole as everyone thought. His last roommate had constantly reminded him of how cold and distant he could be.

It wasn't so much that Sasuke was stoic and didn't feel. If that was a problem, then he would be able to live his life easier, he felt. More robotic. But no, he felt too much. That was the problem. And then there were days when it was so intense that he'd become numb and just lay on his bed and stare at the ceiling for hours.

Sasuke looked up at the clock on the wall, above the table. It was broken and stuck on 6:47. He knew he still had a lot of time before 2pm rolled around though. Too much time. He should really ask his boss about more hours. He was working thirty hours a week now. He wouldn't mind working forty. After all, he didn't have to deal with people in this job like in his last. Sasuke had been a manager at his last job, but, well, he had to deal with so many idiots that he just couldn't handle it. Needless to say, he lost the job. It had been a blow to his ego, but honestly, if people weren't so stupid and knew how to do their own jobs, then he would have been fine.

Now he stacked things on shelves at a grocery store with a boss that was too dumb to function. Honestly, the woman had no idea how to schedule people. One day Sasuke was working mornings, the next he was working midnights (which he was doing that night. Joy.) It also wasn't a job he could be proud of, but it was a job. Besides, he had given up on the idea of getting a job he'd be proud of. He had no idea what he would go into, what he would do. What pleased him? He had no idea. He hadn't been pleased or had fun in a long time. Not since before...

That feeling in his chest was back. A tight squeezing around his heart. The pain of loss and the burden of carrying his guilt around were so overwhelming at times. He just wanted to set something on _fire_.

He rolled onto his other side, facing the back of the couch. He absolutely hated his life. Sometimes he wondered why he even bothered, but at least no one else was bothering with him anymore.

The therapists he was required to see growing up by court order had done nothing for him. The man that took Sasuke in, no matter how hard he tried, really couldn't do anything for him. He remembered that man, Kakashi Hatake, and how he used to always tell Sasuke to let go of the past and find something to live for in the present and future. To allow himself to dream.

Sasuke...really didn't have any dreams. He was nothing. What was the point of dreaming anyway? They were just fantasies, nothing more. Who actually fulfilled their dreams? Sasuke knew Kakashi hadn't, nor had Kakashi picked up any new dreams, so who was he to lecture anyway?

Sasuke was glad he cut him off. If he hadn't, he'd probably be popping in just to lecture him some more.

Closing his eyes, Sasuke tried to quiet his mind so he could sleep a little, but now he was too annoyed and his heart ached too much to sleep, so he just laid there on the couch, thinking about the world and the people in it and how he didn't like any of it. He continued to do this until it neared 2pm. Mentally sighing, he dragged himself from the cough and went outside to wait.

**~*NS*~**

When Naruto came back later that night, Sasuke was tempted to turn the volume up. He was lying on the couch watching TV, which stood against the right wall of the room, right across from Sasuke's bedroom door. Maybe if Naruto got too talkative Sasuke could just go into his room, keep the door open, and watch the TV from there.

"Hey, the cable guy came!" Naruto shouted excitedly.

_Gee, what gave it away?_

"Thanks for agreeing to this. I wouldn't be able to afford to get this by myself," Naruto laughed sheepishly, as if embarrassed. Sasuke didn't know _why_. It wasn't as if he had any more money than Naruto did.

"I didn't do it as a favor for you," Sasuke stated.

"Ah, well yeah. I'm sure you're going to enjoy watching your shows and playing on the internet."

Sasuke didn't answer that. He really didn't use the internet much. He used it to get word out that he was looking for a roommate, but that was it, and he used his last roommate's laptop for that before he moved out. His phone was really his only means of communication and he only used that for work.

As for the TV...well, Sasuke just really liked noise. It drowned out his thoughts and made it easier for him to sleep. Without noise, he had a hard time sleeping. His thoughts would keep him awake.

"Is there anything specific you wanna watch?" Naruto asked as he sat down on the floor, the couch completely taken by Sasuke, though his roommate didn't complain. If Sasuke were a good person, he might have thrown one of the pillows on the floor for Naruto to sit on, but he never claimed to be a good person.

"No." Sasuke tossed the remote on the floor, next to Naruto's right leg. "Knock yourself out." Then Sasuke closed his eyes as Naruto flipped through the channels.

"Ah, there's a horror movie on! Hmm, I'm always on and off about those yanno? On one hand they can be nice to watch at night, especially around Halloween, but on another I don't really wanna watch a bunch of people get killed."

Again, Sasuke remained quiet. He had no strong opinions on horror movies. He really didn't have an opinion on _most_ genres. He just hated comedy and movies that were too mushy and fake, like romance. Romantic comedies he absolutely despised.

"I _really_ love action movies! And comedies!"

Sasuke mentally groaned.

"I don't like comedies," he said, hoping Naruto got the hint and didn't settle on a comedy movie or channel.

"Eh? Why not? Who doesn't like comedies?!"

"I don't. What's to like? It's just a bunch of people acting stupid."

"Well...yeah...that's why it's funny..."

"It's stupid."

"Fine. What kind of movies do you like then? Ah, let me guess, you like the romantic vampire movies like Twilight, right?" Naruto grinned at him.

"No, you moron, I don't like fucking romance movies."

"Okay, fine. What about action? Are those okay for you?"

Sasuke didn't say anything. He actually...didn't _mind_ action movies, but for some reason he didn't want to say he liked them, especially when he knew they were some of Naruto's favorites. He was _not_ looking to bond with this man.

"I'll take your lack of a snippy response as a yes."

And just like that, a superhero movie was settled on. It had already started, but Naruto didn't seem to mind. He seemed so engrossed and Sasuke took a moment to take in his features.

His roommate's blond hair was a mess, but it seemed to be on purpose. He dressed plainly, like he had no fashion sense. He wore a simple black t-shirt with an orange swirl in the center and plain blue jeans. Apparently the place he worked didn't require him to wear a uniform. His skin was a bit tan, definitely darker than Sasuke's, and he had three lines on each cheek.

He wasn't terrible looking, Sasuke supposed, but certainly nothing to write home about either.

Throughout the movie, Naruto made random comments, but Sasuke didn't listen. It was just more noise. It wasn't bad though, and Sasuke found himself being lulled to sleep by all the noise.

* * *

And now Sasuke's chapter is over. I was going to show more of his past in this chapter, but it seemed too soon. Next chapter will have more of them interacting, so that should be fun. ^^

Thanks for the reviews: **nini, Akira Nishikawa, Dragon77, Nessie002, Guest (1), Guest (2)**

**nini: **Awww new reader! Haha, the most romantic story? Well, I'll definitely try to make it as romantic as I can :D!

**Nessie002:** Yes, I want to use more characters than what I use in most of my other stories. I actually used to write for the other Naruto characters quite a bit back in the day, but just became more NarutoxSasuke centered over the years lol. It'll be fun to add in other characters though and write for them, and hopefully it'll be fun to read too ^^! I think Sasuke and Naruto both need understanding about equally in this story, but yes, Naruto will probably be the type who initiates affection.

**Guest (1):** I'm happy to be writing this new story too! I've been stuck with the old for too long!

**Guest (2):** Lol. Of course Sasuke's gotta be a little anti-social. XD Otherwise he wouldn't be Sasuke. Well, unless you're playing with how he'd be if he never lost his family. Hehehe. X3


	4. Running, Always Running

**To Love and be Loved**

Chapter 4: Running, Always Running

Pairing: Eventual NarutoxSasuke, past NarutoxSakura

Rating: Right now it's like PG13 or T, but it'll build up to M(A)

Warning: Sasuke's not in a good place at this point in the story.

Author's Note: An update at last! *coughs* Anyway, since this chapter switches P.O.V.s, I decided to make things super easy and put ~*N*~ for Naruto's P.O.V. sections and ~*S*~ for Sasuke's. This way you guys will know right at the start who's P.O.V. it's in and there's zero chance of confusion (hopefully). 3

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.

**~*N*~**

Naruto was running through the street, dressed in nothing but a pair of jeans, a black hoodie, and sneakers, yet he couldn't feel the winter chill. The road glistened, looking wet, and on either side of him was snow that glittered under the moonlight. There were snowflakes in his hair, making it damp, but he couldn't feel that either.

There were no cars, nor people around him, yet he was running, his chest heaving. He felt...desperate, desperate for something he couldn't name. He continued to run through the streets until he got on a busy road with stop lights, yet there were still no cars. There was his high school to the right of him, a store in front of him across the street, fast food places lined up to the right of the store, and houses on his left with two pizza places and an ice cream shop. This place was so familiar to him and yet...there was nothing for him there. He stood there, not crossing the road. What was the point? There was nothing or no one on the other side, there was nothing and no one around him. His heart ached as he looked around, almost frantically.

_Where?_

Even though he was no longer running, he was still breathing harshly. He saw no one, nothing but the blackness of the night sky. There was light from the street lights, but that was all. None of the houses or buildings around him had any lights on.

He almost wanted to cry.

He began walking to his left, still looking...but he didn't know what he was looking for. He just knew there was something he _had_ to find. He _longed_ for something...his heart, his _soul_ longed for something, but he couldn't find it, he couldn't even place what it was that he was looking for.

He stopped and looked around, lost. He didn't know where to go, only that he had to go _somewhere_.

He wandered alone until a loud siren went off, the world started shaking, the earth beneath him cracked, and he fell into darkness.

...And then he woke up to the sound of his phone buzzing and an aching, empty stomach.

That dream...he had had it before...multiple times. It was a reoccurring dream he'd been having since he was pretty young. It had been awhile since he'd last had it though.

_It's just a dream..._ he told himself, yet he felt almost haunted by it and wondered what the meaning of it was. Was he really looking for something, or someone? Which one? What or who was he looking for? Maybe he was just lonelier than he wanted to admit.

His phone buzzed again. He groaned in annoyance as he rolled over to grab it from under his pillow and saw that he got a text from Kiba. He read the name Dog Breath on the screen, his very fitting nickname for his friend, due to his breath smelling awful (like a dog's) the first time he met him.

_Dog Breath: We're going to hang out tonight. You should stop being a loser and come hang out with us._

Naruto texted back to see where they were going, Kiba responded to tell him that they were going bowling (Kiba would probably get wasted). Naruto hesitated before replying, but eventually decided it would be good for him. He had a lot of fun with his friends, even if Kiba got on his nerves a lot and he had to limit his time with him because of it, he still enjoyed even his company. He replied saying he would go, and asked who else was going. His stomach twisted nervously a little at the reply.

_Dog Breath: Shino, Hinata, Shikamaru, Chouji, and Ino._

Ino... Ino was going... The woman Sakura was living with, though it didn't look like his ex would be there. He wasn't sure if he was disappointed or relieved at that.

He didn't bother replying to Kiba, having already told him he'd be there. They were apparently meeting up sometime between around nine that night to go.

He put his phone back on the bed and looked up at the ceiling. He had no idea if Ino would bring up Sakura or their break up. He really didn't know her that well. He had been around her, sure, she was his ex's best friend, and he had gone to school with her, but his own interactions with her were rather limited. He had hung out with Shikamaru, Chouji, and Kiba though. He used to get into trouble with them in school when he was younger. He skipped class with Shikamaru (and sometimes Chouji would as well), and he got into fights and caused mischief with Kiba (when they weren't fighting with each other). He knew Shino alright, but the guy was pretty quiet and...sometimes creepy. Hinata as well, since she was so quiet. There were times when Naruto forgot she was even around, so he'd get startled when she'd speak.

He thought about them and his relationship with them, and realized that while they were all of his friends, he wasn't especially close with any of them. He didn't know their secrets or their families or anything deep. Just the same, none of them knew any of that about him either. They knew he had lost his birth parents and lived with Jiraiya, but none of them knew the story of how that came to be. Hell, none of them had even met Jiraiya. Sakura had, but that was it. It really hadn't even occurred to Naruto to share his life with another person. He figured, who'd wanna know? They didn't ask, no one did, not even Sakura, so he just didn't talk about it. He didn't think that really bothered him, but he did long for a deeper connection with someone. Maybe a friend, since he really wasn't ready to date yet, but there wasn't anyone in his current circle that came to mind.

His stomach chose that moment to growl at him, having been aching from hunger since he woke up. Throwing the covers off of himself, Naruto left his room and heard the TV on. Peeking into the room, he saw Sasuke asleep on the couch...again. He had been sleeping there almost every night since they got the TV last week. Maybe the sound of the TV comforted him? Well, he supposed it wasn't any of his business.

His roommate was a bit of a mystery to him. Sasuke really didn't seem to like talking much, but sometimes tolerated Naruto talking to him...or...well...maybe at him would be more appropriate, since Sasuke didn't usually respond with words, rather he just grunted now and then. It was a little annoying and frustrating, to be honest, but Naruto kept talking anyway. Maybe one day he'd actually get a real response from him.

Naruto left the room and went into the kitchen. He opens the fridge out of habit before remembering that he really, really needed to go grocery shopping. There really wasn't anything of his in the fridge other than a jar of strawberry jam and half a bottle of orange Gatorade. Sasuke didn't have much either, he noted. Just a carton of eggs (though he had no idea how many were left in there), some tomatoes, a couple bottles of water, and milk.

Shrugging, Naruto closed the fridge and went to the cabinets, grinning when he saw he still had three bags of chicken flavored ramen.

He got out his old and used pan and started boiling the water. Not long after he finished, Sasuke came wandering in the kitchen. He gave Naruto's ramen a weird look, but Naruto was used to it. People just didn't understand that ramen was a perfectly good breakfast.

"Want some? I got two bags left."

Sasuke made a face, and for some reason, it made Naruto want to laugh a little. He didn't answer him, and instead just went to the fridge and got out his carton of eggs. When he opened it, Naruto saw he only had three left.

"Hey, do you need to go shopping anytime soon?" Naruto asked as he blew on his noodles.

Sasuke looked at him from the corner of his eye, as if put out with him already.

Naruto shrugged. "I just wanted to know cause I have to go to the store to pick up some things, and if you do too..."

"You want me to give you a ride."

"You have a car. I don't." When Sasuke looked about ready to turn him down, he added, "I'd give you gas money if you took me. I hate having to take the bus when grocery shopping."

Sasuke bit the corner of his mouth, but it seemed to be the right thing to say.

"Fine, I was planning on going after breakfast. You don't have anywhere to be right now, do you?"

"Nope. All free until later tonight," Naruto grinned.

"Get ready after we eat then, and we'll go."

"Alright. Wanna watch TV while we eat?"

"You'll be done before me, so just get in the shower and make it quick, so I can get in when I'm done."

"Fine, fine. I'll be nice and save you some hot water."

"If you want a ride you will."

Naruto grumbled into his ramen as he continued to slurp the noodles, watching Sasuke cook. He cooked his eggs so that he yolk would be hard, probably because they didn't have any bread. Naruto himself didn't eat eggs often, but maybe he'd pick some up too since they smelled good. He could have some for dinner maybe.

When Sasuke was done with his two eggs, he put them on a plate, grabbed a bottle of water, and left – probably to go sit by the TV as it seemed to be his favorite spot in the apartment. Shrugging and deciding not to bother his roommate further, Naruto drank up the juice from his ramen, cleaned the bowl and fork, and then went in the shower.

Living with Sasuke was...not quiet, but almost lonely. He felt like there really wasn't anyone else living with him at times. At first it had been nice, since he wanted some time alone, but Naruto enjoyed feeling the presence of others. He enjoyed listening to footsteps, to noise as someone went around doing whatever it was they were doing, but Sasuke was quiet. He didn't eat a lot so there wasn't a lot of noise in the kitchen, and when he was home he mostly just laid on the couch and fell asleep. Sasuke slept...a _lot_. Sasuke would also disappear into his room at times, but Naruto had no idea what he did in there since he kept the door closed and he had never been invited inside. He had a feeling Sasuke wouldn't like it if Naruto went in on his own. Even in his room, there wasn't any music playing or any noise at all. Almost as if he left the apartment and was no longer there.

This was what Naruto thought about as he got in the shower, though usually his mind would go to less innocent thoughts while he was in the shower, mostly out of habit, but since he had to hurry he put a lid on those thoughts and focused on washing up.

Sasuke was quick about the shower, so it wasn't long after Naruto got dressed (a dark blue hoodie and jeans) that they were leaving. Naruto made sure he had his keys and wallet, and then they went to Sasuke's car. It was a beat up looking grey car and Naruto couldn't help but notice Sasuke didn't unlock it before opening the door.

"You don't lock your car?"

"Lock's broken," Sasuke said as they got in.

"Aren't you afraid someone's gonna steal it?"

Sasuke gave him a look. "Does this _look_ like a car someone would want to steal?"

"It's not that bad, better than not having a car at all."

"Hn. True, but no. I've had this car for a year now and no one's stolen it yet." Sasuke shrugged. "I got tired of worrying about it."

"Makes sense."

The drive was quiet, since Sasuke was never in a very talkative mood. Naruto turned on the radio for some noise. He wasn't sure what station was on, but it had alright music. He also looked around the car and noticed that it was rather empty and clean, something he wasn't quite used to since every car he had been in had at least a bag from a fast food place lying around.

Naruto wanted to say something, to fill in the silence which was very uncomfortable for him, but had no idea what to talk about. After a couple minutes of coming up with nothing, Naruto turned the volume up on the radio, as if to fill in the silence. Even if they wanted to talk now, they probably wouldn't be able to hear each other. Naruto probably should have asked about the volume, but Sasuke didn't seem bothered by it. Pressing his head to the window, he looked out at the scenery and forced his mind to blank out and focused on the passing houses and trees.

**~*S*~**

Sasuke was very relieved when Naruto turned up the volume to the radio. For awhile, it looked like he was going to try and force him into mundane conversation – _again_ – by the way he kept looking at Sasuke like he wanted to say something. It wasn't until the music got turned up that Sasuke relaxed. Naruto had given up and he was rather thankful for that. He didn't want to talk, to bond, to do _anything_ with his roommate. He didn't even want to go shopping with him, but he needed the gas money.

It wasn't that he disliked his roommate, but Sasuke just...couldn't be with anyone, as a friend or anything else. It wasn't as if he hadn't tried. He did. Once. But that hadn't worked out either, because Sasuke was too fucked up to make any kind of relationship with another human work. Even his relationship with the man who had taken him in was essentially over. He had no one, and honestly, he deserved nothing less. His loneliness was his punishment and one he felt he deserved. In fact, it was _less_ than what he deserved.

Thankfully though, with the music blaring so loudly, Sasuke couldn't dwell in those thoughts for long. He let the music drown out any thought, even though he wasn't actually listening to it. It was just more noise to block everything else out, allowing him to relax whether he deserved it or not.

Finally, they got to the store and Naruto turned the music off. Sasuke's mind immediately began going over the list of things he had to get. It was nice to have something else to think about and focus on. He never wrote down a list. He liked to keep his mind busy.

"So what are you getting? I think I might just get more ramen," Naruto grinned at him as they left the car.

"Eggs, milk, orange juice, oranges are on sale too this week..." Sasuke mumbled, adding it to his list.

"Oooh I should get bagels and some eggs too! I love egg bagels. Usually I just end up getting one from McDonald's" Naruto laughed good naturedly, shoving his hands in his hoodie's pocket. Sasuke was wearing a black zip up hoodie and jeans, since it was a little chilly out today, but at least it wasn't winter anymore.

Once they got in the store, they went their separate ways to get their own things. Just as Sasuke was putting orange juice in the cart, he heard Naruto call out to him and looked over to see him carrying way too much ramen and watched him dump it into the cart.

"Don't look at me like that, I love ramen. It's cheap and fucking awesome! And filling, sort of, when I drink the juice too anyway."

"You're not supposed to do that," Sasuke said before he could stop himself. He didn't particular care if Naruto lived or ate unhealthy, but it was something his mother had told him when he was a kid and almost drank the juice. She had scolded him and took the bowl from him.

"Heh, well, don't wanna waste anything, right?"

Sasuke looked away from him, as if avoiding looking at Naruto or his stupid ramen would make the memories disappear as they started to play over and over again in his head.

"Heeey, you alright?"

He almost jumped when a hand started to wave in front of his face. He looked at Naruto who was frowning at him.

"What?"

"You – er, I mean...it's nothing. You just seemed kind of out of it for a minute there."

"I'm fine," Sasuke said, more to himself than to Naruto.

"Hm, you know, um," Naruto paused and shifted, and Sasuke found himself already growing impatient. He hated it when people stalled in what they were saying. Mostly because he didn't like talking to people, so them stalling made it last longer than he'd like.

"Spit it out."

"Jeez, no need to be a dick. I was just gonna say that I was going out with some friends tonight and, well, you can come if you want. We're going bowling."

Sasuke almost sneered. The thought of hanging out with people he didn't even know repulsed him. The idea of his roommate trying to bond with him while out with him made him...almost want to be mean to the other man, to force the wall he had around himself to become stronger, strong enough to ward off anyone and everyone. There was no way in hell he'd accept the other's offer.

He would hate himself if he went, more so if he enjoyed it.

"I can think of a thousand things I'd rather do." Well, not really, he was just going to go home and maybe curl up on the sofa and turn the TV on and the volume up.

Naruto's eyes narrowed. "A simple no would have been fine, asshole."

"Do you _want_ to walk home?" Sasuke snapped.

"If you're going to keep being this way, then yeah, probably," Naruto bit back, voice rising.

Sasuke wanted to throw his ramen at him and storm out. His first instinct to situations like this was to grab his shit and _run_. And he _hated_ that a small, childish part of him wanted the other person to run after him. It would never happen, and for _good_ reason, because Sasuke would make damn sure the other person hated his guts before running.

"Why are you so pissed?" Naruto asked, his voice lowering but still angry, but confused as well. "I just asked if you wanted to come out tonight."

Sasuke's nose wrinkled. "I don't have to explain anything to you." And then Sasuke turned his back to him and waited, waited for Naruto take his stupid ramen and leave him, just like he _should_ do. If Sasuke were him, he'd leave. He really couldn't blame anyone for leaving him, and he ignored the slight lonely ache it caused every time it happened.

"Are you going to stare at the orange juice for an hour, or are we done?"

Sasuke looked back at Naruto, feeling mildly surprised.

He wasn't leaving?

Naruto was bent forward with his elbows on the cart, looking at him with an unreadable expression...not that Sasuke had ever thought to read his, or anyone else's, expression. His roommate grinned, smiled, and laughed a lot, sometimes he would frown too, but Sasuke had never tried to look into what lied beneath any of it. He hadn't cared, still didn't, really, but he was a little curious.

Everyone else had left, after all.

"I still need to get milk and eggs," Sasuke mumbled.

Naruto straightened. "Alright then, let's go get that."

Sasuke snuck one more confused look at him, but realized it didn't matter and shrugged it off.

Whatever. He probably just didn't want to walk home.

**~*N*~**

By the time he had to leave to meet up with his friends, Naruto almost didn't want to go. Once they got back to the apartment, he had gone straight to his room. He really didn't want to be in Sasuke's company anymore. The guy kept getting pissy for _no_ reason. Naruto had no idea what he did to make his roommate hate him, but he was about ready to punch him. At least, for a second, he was tempted to.

It wasn't just his roommate being an ass that bothered him. After all, Kiba was an ass and he tolerated his company well enough. It was that his roommate made absolutely no sense to him. At least with Kiba he had a fairly good understanding of him. He was just a douche. Plain and simple. Sasuke...it was just different than it was with Kiba. He didn't know how though.

He should just...stop thinking about it.

He got a text around 8:30pm that his friends were on their way to the bowling place. He really didn't want to go out, especially since he'd have to take the bus and walk a little, but he had already said he'd go so...

When he left his room, he looked over and saw Sasuke on the couch with the TV on. Maybe he'd be sleeping there again that night. Looking at Sasuke's bedroom door, he wondered what his room looked like. He really...had no idea who Sasuke was or what he liked. Would he have posters on the wall? If so, of what? He tried to imagine his room, but came up blank, then quickly snapped out of it and rushed out of the apartment, not wanting to miss the bus.

**~*N*~**

"Narutoooo, over here!" Ino shouted not long after Naruto walked into the bowling alley. It was dark with blue lighting and a disco ball on the ceiling. Upbeat music played loudly in the background (currently "Telephone" by Lady Gaga) and the pins almost looked like they glowed in the dark.

Naruto walked over to see his friends, though he felt a bit...awkward around Ino, since she was Sakura's best friend. He almost wanted to ask how she was, actually, those were the first words that came to mind, but he held himself back.

"Don't mind Ino if she's a bit loud, she's already had a couple of drinks," Shikamaru said as he came up to them.

"I'm not drunk!"

"Tipsy at least," Kiba grinned, standing next to Shino. Naruto didn't say anything, but they both smelled a little bit like pot, which wasn't surprising. Naruto knew Shino smoked and he was probably Kiba's closest friend.

"Hello, Naruto," a soft, timid voice said from behind him, making him jump a bit. He turned to see Hinata, smiling softly at him as usual. He felt bad, but he hadn't really noticed her until now. Behind her, he heard Kiba whine about Ino hitting him in the arm and tried to tune them out.

"Hey, Hinata. How have you been?"

She looked to the side, away from him, another habit of her's.

"I've been good..." Her voice was becoming so low Naruto had to really strain himself to hear her. She looked about to say something else, but Kiba threw his arm around his shoulders.

"Alright! Ready to lose blondie?!"

"The day I lose to you is the day pigs fly!"

Kiba snorted. "Original."

They paid the man at the counter got their shoes. As they walked away, Ino complained to Hinata (and everyone else) how ugly they were and how much she always hated the shoes there. And when they went to pick their balls, Ino laughed loudly at Kiba.

"You have one blue ball!"

"You need to stop drinking," Kiba grinned back.

"Naruto, there's an orange one..."

Naruto's head whipped around to look at Hinata, who was smiling and holding an orange bowling ball.

"Holy shit! Thanks Hinata! Man I've never used an orange one before."

"You're sick," Kiba commented.

"I'm not! I just really like the color is all." Naruto gladly took the ball from her, smiling and thanking her as he did. "Now, if I were to bring spray paint and _made_ one of these balls orange...then I'd have a problem."

"You're gonna have an orange sports car one day aren't you? Like one of those obnoxious shades too that makes everyone want to look away and question why you thought it was a good idea," Kiba went on.

"Fuck, I'd be happy to just have a car!" Naruto laughed, shoving at Kiba when he started to walk past.

"Then you'll probably just have one of those burnt orange cars that look all beat up."

"Probably."

Kiba rolled his eyes. "So who's bowling with who? There are four people a lane."

"I'll bowl with you," Naruto said. "I want you to see my scores next to yours as I beat your wannabe punk ass."

Kiba just gave him the bird in response.

"I'll play with you too, if that's okay," Hinata said.

Kiba smiled at her, then turned to Shikamaru. "Alright, Shino can play with us too, and then you three can have the other lane."

"Stuck with the ex again," Chouji laughed while Ino groaned.

"That was forever ago, stop bringing it up already!"

Shikamaru didn't seem particularly bothered, and Naruto wondered if there'd come a time when he and Sakura could be like that. They'd joke about being a couple and how they didn't work...and it wouldn't cause him any pain in the slightest. That sounded rather ideal to him right now.

Kiba and Shino were up first to bowl, NAruto was last and he was sure Kiba did that on purpose since he was in charge of putting everyone's names on the screen. He named himself _Inu_, Hinata _Sun_, Shino _Bro_, and Naruto _Dork_. He wasn't the most creative individual.

Naruto sat down and was joined with Hinata, whose presence he was actually aware of this time.

"So...how have you been? I didn't get to ask earlier."

"Me? I've been pretty good I guess."

Hinata frowned and Naruto wondered if she could tell he was lying. It wasn't as if she knew him very well...

But then Hinata started to smile softly again. "That's good. I had heard...so I was worried. I wasn't sure how you were taking it. No one seemed sure..."

His heart sank. He didn't have to ask her what she was referring to. Sakura and Naruto's relationship wasn't secret. They had been very, very public and had been just as public with their plans for the future. To have it all just stop one day...he had gotten some people who were confused and others who just looked at him like an abandoned puppy made a stray – which was a little annoying. He could understand the confusion though, since they were going on about moving in together and had appeared so happy and in love in front of others. Hell, even Naruto had been a bit shocked, but less so than everyone else, since no one else knew the problems they'd been having. They kept their relationship issues to themselves...which might have also been part of the problem. Naruto had never been one hundred percent comfortable opening up to Sakura about some things, something she really hadn't liked, but it had been the same the other way around.

"...Naruto?"

Snapped out of his thoughts, Naruto looked at Hinata who didn't look at him with pity, but with concern that seemed genuine, like the concern a friend would show. It made Naruto feel bad for ever thinking of her as creepy.

He was about to respond to her, but Kiba had told her she was next. Naruto watched her as she got up, hesitating at first in case he had something to say, but Naruto just smiled. Kiba took her place in the chair next to his and Shino had apparently gone somewhere to get them some water.

When Kiba bowled, he was quick and (too) confident, the ball going fast and a little out of control which was why he actually got quite a few gutter balls. He really had no room to talk so big to Naruto...not that Naruto was any better. Shino...well, Shino didn't rush but he still got his fair share of gutter balls, but managing to hit some on the side most times. As for Hinata...out of all the times he went bowling with his friends in the past, he had never actually watched her. This was the first time he had actually gone bowling with her at all, now that he thought about it. She held the ball close to her chest and walked slowly, then paused before rolling the ball, also slowly, in the center.

"And strike!" Kiba shouted.

Hinata turned around with a faint blush and a smile.

"She bowls better than you, mutt," Naruto said.

"And you too, so don't get ahead of yourself." Kiba leaned back in his seat and sighed. "Though not the coolest way. I was about to fall off the edge of my seat with how _long_ it took."

"Hinata likes to take her time with things," Shino said as he came up behind Kiba, almost scaring him out of his chair, and put a water pitcher on the center of the table.

"God damn Shino! Wear a bell or some shit!"

Naruto laughed, not loudly or as freely as he usually did, but it still felt nice. He didn't want to stop and think about the last time he had laughed until his sides hurt though. He was sure it'd be _too_ long ago.

When it was Naruto's turn to bowl, he got a gutter ball and had to listen to Kiba give him shit for it. They had wanted to do a drinking game, but since Kiba had driven there Hinata and Shino stopped him from consuming any alcohol. Naruto didn't mind since Kiba tended to get more obnoxious when he drank. After awhile of bowling and listening to Ino next to them and peeking over, Naruto decided to pay his other friends a little visit after his last turn.

As he walked up to them, he heard Ino say, "She's already into this other guy and they haven't been broken up that long yet."

Followed by Shikamaru saying, "Ino, you only waited one week after we broke up to start dating again."

"That's different! Sa-"

"_Ino_," Shikamaru said sharply when he noticed Naruto standing near them.

Naruto opened his mouth to say...something. He wasn't sure what, so he closed his mouth again. What was there to say? He knew they were talking about Sakura. She...was already interested in someone else? He knew it would happen eventually, and it wasn't as if they just broke up yesterday, but...they had been together for so long... Naruto wasn't over it, but Sakura was?

Suddenly his heart didn't feel so great, and neither did his stomach.

Ino looked over her shoulder at him and frowned.

"Naruto –"

"Hey dorkface! Guess who got more points than you?!" Kiba shouted behind him at the same time Ino tried to say something, but Naruto just...couldn't deal with either of them.

"I think I'm ready to go home. I'm tired and I have to go to work tomorrow so..." Naruto went back to his table to change his shoes. He could feel eyes on him, but just continued to look at his feet.

"Do you need a ride home?" Shikamaru asked, and the offer was tempting, but Naruto still wasn't ready to let people know where he lived, especially right now when all he wanted was to be alone in his room.

"No, I'll catch the bus."

"Naruto-" Hinata that time.

"See you guys later."

And without looking back at his friends, not wanting to see their pity, he left for the bus stop.

* * *

Thank you: **Izolda, Akira Nishikawa, Killua17, Nessie002, Mgluvsbl25,** ** 88, Guest, MikaUchiha, sasunaruhadmelike,** and **Hiyorai**

**Akira Nishikawa: **Yeah, Sasuke's definitely damaged and not in a good place right now. :/ I'm sure Naruto will aid him in getting to a better place, but Sasuke will have to do his share of work as well ^^!

**Nessie002: **Saaame. I always get a little disappointed when a story is only written in just Naruto or just Sasuke's perspective. I get too curious about what the other is thinking and just end up wanting the other perspective lol.

**Mgluvsbl25: **Yeah, Sasuke being anti-social will slow things down. It's a little hard to write their scenes due to his lack of wanting to actually talk lol. But they'll start talking more as the story goes on.

**Guest: **They'll start to interact more and more as the story progresses :D


	5. Those Little Voices That Haunt the Mind

**To Love and be Loved**

Chapter 5: Those Little Voices That Haunt the Mind

Pairing: Eventual NarutoxSasuke, past NarutoxSakura

Rating: Right now it's like PG13 or T, but it'll build up to M(A)

Warning: Sasuke's not in a good place at this point in the story.

Author's Note: Finally took some time to finish this chapter up. I'm trying to get into the habit of writing 1k words a day. I've been so-so successful. If I can get in the hang of it though, you can expect more regular updates so wish me luck? XD!

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.

**~*N*~**

Naruto had been lying on his bed, trying not to think about his ex and who her possible new boyfriend could be, when he heard his phone ring. He wasn't going to answer it, but then he saw that it was Jiraiya and picked up.

"Hey, what's up? You rarely ever call, unless you have a deadline," Naruto joked, trying to sound as normal as possible.

Jiraiya laughed on the other end. "Yeah well, I was cleaning out the garage and I found your old GameCube and some games."

"Damn, really? I forgot I even had one of those. I don't think I've played that since middle school."

"There were some games for your PS2 in there as well. Anyway, I figured you'd want them back. Plus I want the space."

"Oh, sure, I'll pick them up. I just gotta look and see when the next bus is."

"No, I'll drop them off to you. I'm already driving around anyway, besides, it's raining. You really wanna wait around for the bus in the rain?"

"It's raining?" Naruto looked at his wall, but there weren't any windows in his room. The downfall of living in a basement apartment he supposed. Not many windows. He could hear the TV on outside of his room, but that was all.

"Yeah, so I'll drop your crap off to you. Just tell me your address."

Naruto bit his lip, considering. On one hand, if he refused to give the address, Jiraiya would question it and worry about him. He just...he just wanted to keep his apartment to himself, as his little hideaway from the world. He didn't want anyone knowing where he lived because the people he knew had the tendency to sometimes drop in unannounced, something he normally loved, but at the moment...

He just wanted some time to himself.

Sighing, he gave the address anyway. He didn't want to deal with any questions or to make anyone be concerned about him. Besides, it was just Jiraiya. He worked and slept and flirted more than anything else. He probably wouldn't have time to drop in on Naruto often, if at all, unless he had a specific reason for it.

Once Jiraiya had his address they said their goodbyes and hung up. Jiraiya would probably be there in fifteen to twenty minutes. He was just going to lay around until he got there – or got close since Naruto might have to go outside to greet him. His apartment wasn't the easiest to find. But then he remembered his roommate and thought he'd better let him know they were about to have company, so he threw on a black hoodie and left his room.

**~*S*~**

Sasuke was laying on the couch, on his back and facing the window. He couldn't hear the rain because of the TV, but he liked watching it. The rain always made him feel conflicted. It was calming and nice, but also melancholy. When he was a kid he had loved the rain, but that was part of the problem of why he felt he couldn't like it anymore. The memories he had...

"Hey."

Sasuke sat up on the couch and turned around at Naruto.

"My...uh...someone I know is coming over to drop some stuff off. That's okay, right?"

Sasuke bit the corner of his mouth. He couldn't very well tell Naruto that it _wasn't_ okay. It was his home too. He just wished he had more of a warning. Sasuke really didn't want to be around when the person came. He didn't want to be dragged into talking and he _really_ didn't want to get to know anyone from roommate's life. He had done that with his last roommate and it hadn't ended well.

"Yeah, I was just about to go out anyway."

Naruto looked him over, probably noting Sasuke's black sweat pants and grey t-shirt.

"Oh...okay then. Going to hang out with a friend or something? Or to run errands?"

Sasuke got up from the couch and headed to his room to change. "Just out."

"Well, nice talking to you, as usual," Naruto muttered as he walked past him, irking him. What the hell was his roommate expecting from him? For him to stay and spend time with whoever was on their way? Sasuke thought back to the man his last roommate had brought over and how things had ended between them. It had been a disaster and one Sasuke had every intention to avoid making the same mistake twice. No matter how unlikely it was that Naruto would bring home a man...who was also interested in men.

He wondered if Naruto would even be friends with gay men. Sasuke hadn't felt it necessary to let Naruto know of his preference. He didn't particular care about Naruto's opinion of him or gays, so why was he even wondering? He had never told any of the other people he lived with, not even Kakashi, though Kakashi had found out on his own. His last roommate had, as well, when Sasuke hooked up with his friend for a night. But no one else in his life had known, at least not to Sasuke's knowledge. What was the point? He wasn't looking for lasting relationships with people and the people who he _really_ wanted to tell...he just couldn't.

What would his parents think? He often wondered. Would his mother continue to be just as loving and kind as she always was? Sasuke had a hard time imagining her being anything else. His father...he wasn't so sure of, and it bothered him more than he'd like to admit. Even after his death, his father's approval and opinion still meant the world to him. Not knowing he'd be okay with it _bothered_ him.

_They'll never know me, _Sasuke thought for the thousandth time in his life. That thought haunted him almost as much as the memories of them did.

Once in his room, he just threw on some socks, a pair of jeans, and a navy blue hoodie over his t-shirt. He didn't bother doing anything with his hair, which was probably a mess since he hadn't touched it since he woke up (it was probably sticking up in random directions). He left the apartment after slipping on his shoes. Naruto didn't talk to him or comment on his messy appearance. He just poured himself a glass of milk as Sasuke walked past him.

When Sasuke got outside he quickly went to his car.

Now...where to go? He didn't really have a lot of money to go grocery shopping. That would have to wait until he got his check. He supposed he could drive to the river and watch the water for a bit. When was the last time he had been down there? He had gone with his father a few times when he was a kid, and even though the memories sometimes made the place nostalgic in a melancholy sort of way, Sasuke was unable to stay away from the place.

Mind made up, he turned his car on...only to note that he didn't have a whole lot of gas left.

_...Fuck._

Sasuke took his key out and leaned back into his seat. He really didn't want to go back inside. He would just hide in his room feeling awkward when whoever it was came over. For all Sasuke knew, it could be Naruto's girlfriend or his sibling or parent or best friend forever.

Sasuke ignored the sting in his heart at the fact that he didn't have any of that.

Well...except for his...

Getting out of the car in a rush, Sasuke walked away in the rain. If he went inside to get his umbrella, Naruto might ask questions.

With no place in mind, Sasuke shoved his hands in his hoodie's pockets after pulling the hood over his head.

**~*N*~**

After Sasuke left, Naruto drank his milk on the couch. He turned off the TV and opened the window just a crack. It was chilly outside, but Naruto wanted to hear the rain. It was calming and nice.

He got a text when Jiraiya was close so he could go outside to greet him. When he got outside, he noticed Sasuke's car was still there and wondered where he had wandered off to. Maybe he had a friend who lived close by, or maybe someone had picked him up...for some reason though, he doubted it. He had a hard time picturing his roommate hanging out with friends, but surely he had to have _someone_.

Jiraiya called, apparently having trouble finding the back road, so Naruto gave him clear directions. Sometimes his neighborhood could be like a maze. Every block looked almost exactly the same, and there were a couple of dirt roads that went behind and in between houses. Naruto's apartment building blended in, looking like a house itself.

Shoving his phone in his pocket to protect it from the rain, Naruto ran outside with his coat on, the hood up to protect his head from the rain.

When he saw Jiraiya's car drive by slowly, he flailed his arms. Jiraiya backed up and parked behind Sasuke's car.

"God damn, finally! I actually almost got lost! Your directions suck, by the way."

"Your sense of direction sucks," Naruto said with a grin as Jiraiya got out of his truck with a plastic bag in hand.

"You gonna talk to me like that when I've brought your shit all the way here? Here I go out of my way for you..."

"Yeah, yeah, well come inside and I'll, er, well I don't have much. I can make you some ramen?" Naruto took the bag from him and led him to his apartment.

Jiraiya just laughed as he followed Naruto inside.

"I don't suppose you have any liquor?"

"I haven't had a chance to pick any up, no." Naruto turned to him as they walked down the stairs. "Maybe that can be your housewarming gift to me."

"Please, if I'm gonna buy liquor it'll be for me, obviously. Besides, I already bought you some drinks when you turned twenty one."

"It's not even four yet, so you shouldn't be drinking anyway."

"It's 4pm _somewhere_."

Naruto snorted at that as they entered the apartment.

"So do you want water or something?"

"No, I'm fine." Jiraiya said, distracted as he looked around the kitchen. It wasn't spacious at all. There was no room for a table, but Naruto had never really eaten at a table anyway so he didn't really care. He was used to eating in front of a TV on the floor or outside.

Naruto led Jiraiya to the other room, where there was a table. Jiraiya sat down there while Naruto sat on the sofa.

"So how have you been?" Jiraiya asked, his expression too serious.

Naruto shifted. "I've been alright." He thought to Sakura and how easily she seemed to be moving on while Naruto...seemed to almost be standing still. It was frustrating and made his heart ache. He felt...disposable. He expected her to move on. It was only natural. He just didn't think it'd be so much sooner than him. He still couldn't even think of being with anyone else, couldn't see anyone else in that way yet.

"I see..." Jiraiya didn't look like he believed him, but so long as he didn't push it, Naruto didn't really care.

"How's Tsunade? I haven't heard from her in awhile." Not since before he and Sakura broke up. Tsunade had absolutely _adored_ Sakura, and Sakura had admired Tsunade greatly. She had even considered becoming a doctor like Tsunade was. Naruto wondered if she still did.

"I saw her not too long ago. She's the same as always. Working and drinking."

"And gambling?" Naruto grinned.

"Heh, not so much anymore. She asked about you the last time I saw her. You should go and pay her a visit sometime soon."

Naruto bit his lip. He would like to... He hadn't seen her in awhile, but he knew she'd ask about Sakura. He wanted to ask Jiraiya if he'd told her that they broke up, but couldn't bring himself to. One of the things he hated the most about their break up was people finding out. His friends all reacted differently, but the same. They'd give him sad looks or try and reassure him, or they'd think he needed to bad mouth Sakura to feel better (he didn't). None of the reactions were right. None helped. Nothing but time would.

The worst reactions he got were the questions. People seemed to almost want to interrogate him. Even Jiraiya had asked too many questions – of course, too many was just one for him.

"Naruto?"

"Huh? Oh, yeah, I'll uh, go see her soon."

As if reading his mind, Jiraiya said, "She already knows about you and Sakura."

"Ah, so you did tell her..."

"No, it wasn't me. Sakura told her. She went to go see her not too long ago."

Of course. They had liked each other a lot, so why would their interactions end just because Sakura broke up with him? It still felt weird though, to know that Sakura was still in contact with people from his life that she met through him.

Naruto rubbed the back of his head. "Well...that's good I guess? Hopefully she won't ask me anything about it then."

She had more tact than Jiraiya at least.

"So uh, how's your new book coming along?" Naruto asked, changing the subject. The best way to do that with Jiraiya, he learned, was to ask about his writing.

**~*S*~**

Even without thinking about it, Sasuke had walked toward the river. He wasn't there yet, but he was standing near a bridge that went over the river. He looked up at the bridge and at the traffic. It was loud, but did nothing to drown out his thoughts the closer he got the river.

He remembered going with his father and brother to fish at the river many times. It was always at night and they didn't always catch much, but Sasuke had still enjoyed it. The only sounds he could often hear were crickets and the water. Sasuke had always enjoyed the sound of the river.

Now he didn't feel he had a right to, especially knowing his brother enjoyed it too.

How long had it been since he had actually gone to the river? He always felt too guilty and afraid. What if his mind became flooded with memories he didn't want to deal with? Maybe...if he hadn't of made that mistake, that horrible, horrible mistake that had ruined a life precious to him, he would feel less guilty.

But it was too late for that.

The mistake had been made, a life of someone dear to him had been ruined, and he would regret it for the rest of his life.

Heart heavy and with a lump in his throat, Sasuke turned back around and headed home.

He just couldn't cross that bridge.

**~*S*~**

When Sasuke got back to the apartment he saw Naruto hooking up a PS2. Next to the system were a couple of games.

Naruto looked over his shoulder to see him, having finished hooking it up. His mouth opened, probably in greeting, but then he took in Sasuke's wet and disheveled appearance and walked over to him with a crease in his forehead.

"Why are you all wet?" he asked in a worried tone. Sasuke almost took a step back when Naruto walked over to him. He didn't like the look he was giving him. Sasuke was never very comfortable with people worrying about him or his well being, especially when he didn't want them to and didn't deserve it.

Rather than answer him, Sasuke kept his eyes on the games next to the PS2. He saw Sonic and Tails on one of the cases.

Memories immediately flooded his mind.

He used to play that all the time with Itachi on their old Sega system. Itachi also used to watch the cartoon with him and one Halloween he remembered dressing up as Tails while Itachi went as Sonic. His mother had made the costumes.

Naruto, probably noticing where his attention was, looked at him with a small smile.

"Do you wanna play?"

"_Do you want to play?"_

"_What is it?"_

"_A game, obviously." _The sound of Itachi's voice echoed through his mind and he could picture him smiling at him in amusement. He had offered Sasuke Sonic, probably figuring he'd want to play as Sonic more than Tails, but once Itachi said he'd be Tails, Sasuke wanted to be him instead. Also, he kinda liked that Tails was a fox that could fly. Sasuke had always wanted to fly. He remembered someone, he couldn't remember who, saying that he had the spirit of a proud hawk. Sasuke didn't mind, since hawks were one of his favorite animals.

"Sasuke?"

"_Do you want to play?"_

Itachi's voice haunted him.

Sasuke felt like he was choking, the ball in his throat thicker and harder to swallow around.

He jerked away when Naruto touched his shoulder, his touch annoying gentle.

No one should be gentle with him. Sasuke deserved to get thrown against a wall.

He looked at his roommate who was still looking at him with worry.

_Stop it._

_Stop worrying about me!_

"Sasuke, what's wrong?"

"Nothing," Sasuke all but spat.

_Everything_.

_Everything's wrong and nothing is alright. _

_It will never be alright again._

_I will never be alright._

"_Do you want to play?"_

**~*N*~**

Naruto didn't know what to do. Sasuke looked like a wet cat hiding under a car. Whenever Naruto tried to get close to Sasuke, he moved away, seemingly without even realizing it, just like a cat. Naruto would get near the cat to grab it and provide it with a warm and dry place until the storm passed, holding it and coddling it and giving it food and water, but there was no way for the cat to know that, so whenever he got closer, the cat moved away until it just bolted.

That was what Sasuke looked like right now. A drenched cat that was seeking shelter from a bad storm and not trusting anyone who got near him, no matter their intentions or tone of voice.

It kind of hurt to see.

He didn't know his roommate, not on a personal level, but Naruto was the type of person who cared about everyone. He was the type of person who got angry on someone else's behalf and would go out of his way to help a stranger.

So he really didn't want to leave his roommate alone in that moment. He wanted to do something to help him.

But what could he do?

He didn't even know why Sasuke was upset or why he was wet.

Naruto had remembered seeing Sasuke's car outside after he'd left. Did he walk somewhere? Why?

Maybe Naruto shouldn't have invited Jiraiya over...?

"Are you mad I had someone over?" he blurted, trying to figure out what was wrong.

Sasuke gave him a look as if he was stupid.

"Don't be an idiot. I could care less what you do."

"Then why are you wet? You didn't have to leave you know."

"I don't want to be around anyone right now, especially someone _you_ know."

"Why do you sound so pissed off?!" Naruto was getting frustrated. Sasuke was just standing there, wet and angry and looking like someone had kicked him when he was down. And now he was acting like Naruto was an enemy!

_What happened? Why do you look like this?_

_It's none of my business._

_But..._

Sasuke just shakes his head and walks off to his room and Naruto just doesn't know what to say or do to make him stay.

_Don't leave angry, let me help you! _

_Don't be stupid._

_You can't even help yourself._

There was something heartbreaking about wanting to reach out to someone and not being able to reach them no matter what.

Naruto wished he knew the right thing to say.

Maybe that was why Sakura left him.

She always said he never knew when she needed comforting, and of course only letting him know this when she no longer needed it.

_In the end, have I ever helped anyone?_

Naruto walked back to his PS2 and sat down in front of it, wondering what game he wanted to play first. Playing a game might help take his mind off of everything.

Just as he decided on a game to play (Final Fantasy X, he thought Lulu was hot with her dark appearance so...) his phone vibrated in the pocket of his hoodie. Fishing it out, he saw that he had a text from...Hinata? That was strange. She rarely ever texted him. He actually forgot he gave her his number.

_Hinata: Hello Naruto, I'm sorry if I'm bothering you, but I wanted to ask if you were okay? I wasn't sure if I should, I don't want to be nosy, but if you ever need to talk about anything I'll be there for you. You can call me anytime. _

Naruto smiled, feeling his mood lift a little. Hinata was such a sweet girl to offer, but he really didn't want to talk about finding out about Sakura and her new love interest.

_To Hinata: thanks hinata but i'm alright. sorry i left like that. it was nice seeing you. we should hang out sometime! :) _

It wasn't long before she texted back, saying that she'd love to spend time with him. He spent a couple of minutes talking with her via text after that, mostly just about availability so they knew when the other didn't have to work. When the conversation ended, Naruto put his phone away and glanced at his roommate's bedroom door and wondered if he should knock on it, but decided against it. There was nothing to say even if his roommate let him in, which was unlikely, unless Naruto broke the door down, but he just didn't have the will to do that at the moment.

So instead, he put his game in and started a new game.

**~*S*~**

Sasuke laid with his face buried in his pillow, the floor feeling especially hard and uncomfortable for some reason. His body should really be used to it by now, but he was having a hard time falling asleep.

He also had way too many things on his mind.

He needed a distraction. Badly.

And sleep. He was beyond tired.

Sometimes he wondered how he was even still sane.

He wanted to go out and lay on the sofa, which was much more comfortable, and listen to the noise from the TV. But...he really didn't think he could fall asleep to Sonic. It brought back too many memories.

Rolling on his back, he looked about his room, which was surprisingly messy considering he barely had anything. No dresser, no bed, no desk... He just...didn't have the energy to go out and buy those things for himself, or the money really. He had left the bed, dresser, and everything else Kakashi had given him back at his house. All he owned was a digital clock that doubled as his alarm clock, his blankets that were piled on the floor, a (rather flat) pillow, and a tote that he put his (clean) clothes in as a few person items at the bottom, hidden and kept away from even his own eyes. There was always something covering it, specifically something he never wore or touched.

He just couldn't bear to look at those precious items at the bottom of his tote, even though he longed to.

Speaking of clean clothes...Sasuke looked around his floor where his dirty clothes were scattered around. Standing up, he used his feet to push all of his dirty clothes into one pile and then stood still.

That was hardly a distraction.

Turning back to his door, he opened it just a crack, and felt relieved when he heard some sort of dialogue coming from the screen.

Opening the door more, he saw that Naruto had decided against Sonic. When he walked closer, going to the sofa, his roommate turned around and looked like he was about to say something. Their earlier discussion came back to him, but he just wanted to pretend it never happened and forget about it, just like everything else.

"Don't say anything," Sasuke said with no emotion.

His roommate looked at him with a frown and that crease in his forehead was back. Sasuke decided he hated it, so he looked away from it. Had his roommate always looked at him with a creased forehead? He had never noticed. It was amazing how little of his roommate he noticed though, but it wasn't like he was paying him any special attention.

He laid on the sofa, curled up into a ball and closed his eyes, feeling drained and tired.

"Do you want me to turn the volume down?"

"No. Don't." Sasuke hoped his voice didn't come out as small as he felt.

He needed the volume, needed the noise.

Naruto didn't say anything else, and before long, Sasuke was falling asleep to some battle music in the background.

* * *

I always imagine Naruto as having bad grammar, especially when he texts. :) He's the type who forgets commas exist and don't even ask him what a colon and semi-colon are used for.

Thanks for the reviews: **Killua17, Akira Nishikawa, KH freak 813, giselleags, Guest, MikaUchiha, Nessie002, berry5tz**

**giselleags:** You'll find out a little more about Sasuke's last roommate as the story progresses and Naruto starts learning about him. :3 There isn't _too_ much to know though. ^^;

**Nessie002:** Oh no worries. ^^ It makes me happy that you take the time to comment at all. Seriously. Thank you. :) I appreciate it. Hehe, I'm really enjoying letting only a little bit of Sasuke out at a time. Hopefully it'll come together nicely in the end.

**berry5tz:** Weird people are awesome. XD Naruto's dream is significant as it's a reoccurring dream and those things usually have a reason, I think.


	6. Longing for More

**To Love and be Loved**

Chapter 6: Longing for More

Pairing: Eventual NarutoxSasuke, past NarutoxSakura

Rating: Right now it's like PG13 or T, but it'll build up to M(A)

Warning: Sasuke's not in a good place at this point in the story.

Author's Note: So this chapter and the next were going to be one chapter but...I decided to split it in half. Next chapter should be up soonish. Still gotta finish it. Until then, I hope you enjoy this one ^^!

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.

**~*S*~**

When Sasuke woke up he was curled up on the couch. He had a slight headache and his throat was a little dry, but he could ignore it. Naruto was still playing his game, not noticing that Sasuke woke up. It was the first time in awhile that Sasuke had woken up in a room with someone else in it. He was used to waking alone.

He felt...strangely warm.

Waking up in a room with another person, being near another person, it felt nice. Too nice. The comfort from it quickly turned into discomfort, but he was human. He knew he shouldn't feel that way, but he longed for it. His heart was in constant chaos, feeling warm, weary, and battered at once.

Sniffing, he cleared his throat and coughed softly.

Naruto paused the game and looked back at him.

"Did I wake you up?"

"No."

Sasuke looked up at the clock and saw that it was two in the morning.

"Ah, okay, was worried I woke you up when I lost that last fight and died," Naruto smiled a little.

"Noise helps me sleep," Sasuke said without thinking, immediately regretting it. It wasn't a huge deal, but he didn't want his roommate to get to know him. Even if it was something he wasn't necessarily trying to hide, coming out and saying it felt different. There was something about his roommate's presence sometimes. It made him warm and comfortable, like earlier, when his guard was down...which for some reason it sometimes was around the man.

He didn't like it.

Usually people looked for someone they could let their guard down around, but not Sasuke. Sasuke would avoid someone like that. But there was something admittedly nice about Naruto's presence. He had never heard Naruto trash talk anyone. He never came home angry, cussing out his boss or friends or lovers, he didn't gossip at Sasuke like his last roommate did on occasion.

And he hadn't left Sasuke when he acted like a complete bastard in the store.

He had _stayed_.

_Whatever, he just didn't want to walk home._

Why did that sound so wrong to him though? He didn't know his roommate enough to make judgment calls like that, but somewhere deep inside, he knew Naruto hadn't been concerned about getting home.

"You sure you don't wanna play? I'm about to get in another boss fight and then I'mma get my next aoen. It's a fire one." Naruto tilted his head in thought. "You look like you'd like that element. Fire."

_But my fire has long since gone out_, was Sasuke's first thought to that, his heart feeling heavy at hearing that.

"Sasuke?"

"Hn?"

"Do you wanna play?" Naruto held the controller out to him in offering, but Sasuke wasn't really in the mood.

"No, I'm tired." Sasuke closed his eyes again, trying to ignore the fact that his headache and coughing softly again.

"Alright," he heard Naruto say, "but you're always free to. Don't think you have to ask to play somethin' if you wanna."

Not saying anything to that, Sasuke went to sleep, though it wasn't for long.

**~*S*~**

Sasuke woke up in front of a TV in an all too familiar room. Sitting up, his body that of a small eight year old, he looked at the screen and saw Sonic on the top part and Tail's on the bottom. He looked around the room but couldn't see anyone. Frowning, he stood and left the room that was known as the "play room". It was the room in his old house with all of his toys as well as a couch, a TV, a bunch of kids movies (mostly Disney) and anime (like Pokemon and Digimon). Sometimes Sasuke and Itachi would sleep in there instead of in their bedrooms. They'd gather up a bunch of soft, thick blankets and pillows and make a nest. Sasuke liked it. He didn't like sleeping alone in his room very much, even if his bed was more comfortable than the floor, sleeping with someone close by was far more comfortable overall.

When he left the room, he was in the dining room. There was a long mahogany table in front of him with nothing on it. He looked to his left and saw the front door and living room. There was a large TV in front of the window by the door, a clear coffee table and a couch facing it. To the left of that was another long table, his father's "work space". On it was a computer and a bunch of files and papers stacked up. Above it was a chandelier. To his right was the kitchen and two doors. The door on the right, behind the fridge, was the bathroom, and the door straight ahead led to the upstairs, the basement, and the back door.

He was about to go upstairs to see if Itachi had decided to sleep in his room when someone knocked on the door. He stayed still, waiting for one of his parents to get it. He looked at the window and saw that it was dark out.

Someone knocked on the door again, harder this time, causing Sasuke's little heart to beat faster.

_Thump, thump, thump._

Slowly, he walked to the door and opened it...only to be face to face with his mother.

She smiled softly at him and reached out, and there was nothing more Sasuke wanted to do than to fall into her arms.

His mother...she was beautiful, kind, and loving. Whenever he was sad or hurt, his mother always seemed to know and cheered him up. He would always reject her comfort, more out of embarrassment than anything, but she always managed to succeed regardless.

"Mom," his voice trembled as he reached out for her, then pressed his face into her stomach. He wept. His small body trembled. Her scent was so clear to him. She smelled fresh. Like the outdoors. His mother loved gardening, so she always smelled like fresh flowers, grass, and dirt. Rarely did she wear perfume, only on special occasions...which usually consisted of his father taking her out.

"Sasuke..." his mother croaked.

Stiffening, Sasuke looked up at his mother. She was staring in front of her with a far off look in her eyes. It was then that he noticed her arms were not wrapped around him, but hanging limply behind him as she hunched forward and over him.

He also noticed...his hands felt wet.

Suddenly his mother's weight was all on him at once and he fell back with her over him.

He tried to call out to her, but found he couldn't speak. His heart raced and it was the only thing he could hear.

And his hands...his hands were smeared with blood, wet and warm.

As soon as he saw his hands, he was no longer beneath his mother but standing in the middle of the dining room. His parents were at the table, but their heads were down and their arms were hanging.

He screamed.

Then he was gone, somewhere else.

His mother's garden.

She was growing tomatoes for him, but someone was picking them, eating them, blood gushing out of them instead of juice.

The person looked back at him with crazy eyes, blood dripping from his chin.

Sasuke was frozen in fear.

His mother's garden was always so beautiful, now the flowers were dead and so was she.

He looked back to the man, but he was gone.

The world around him began to fade and he was swallowed up by darkness, feeling stuck and hopeless, he ran aimlessly, his voice gone.

And he was alone.

**~*S*~**

Sasuke woke with a start, breathing a little heavy and his body sweaty. Had he...did he dream? What had he dreamed about? He remembered the man eating the tomatoes, but he couldn't remember the face or who it was. He just remembered being disturbed and afraid. Everything else faded from his mind and soon enough, he couldn't remember anything.

But hadn't he just thought of it a second ago?

Sometimes it frustrated him how easily he forgot his dreams, but he wasn't the type of person who could remember them in detail. Sometimes he would remember bits and pieces, but often times even those pieces would fade from his memory in less than a day.

Falling back on the couch, he pressed his hand to his forehead. His headache had gotten worse and he felt like he had just gotten run over by a train. Groaning softly and coughing a little harder than before, he looked up at the clock to see it was 4:37am. He also noticed that there was a blanket over him, his hand smoothing it out as he frowned.

He looked at Naruto, who was sleeping on the floor with the controller on his stomach. The game wasn't on pause and he was in a battle with an ugly looking creature. He wondered why he put a blanket on him in the first place. At first, he was a little annoyed by it. He wasn't a child and he _definitely_ wasn't his friend or boyfriend. But his roommate, it seemed, was a nice guy. Sasuke didn't like how it was starting to affect him.

The warmth, the hurt, the longing, he didn't want any of it.

But then, underneath the annoyance was an undeniable ache. It had been so long since anyone had ever done anything with his comfort in mind. Sasuke didn't think he was so weak as to need anyone to take care of him, but having someone being considerate of him...

He didn't want it.

Or so he would continue to tell himself.

...He really shouldn't think about it.

Throwing the blanket off of himself, he stood up, a bit wobbly. His head began to throb and he felt like throwing up, but he would hold it in. He just needed to get away from the warmth of his roommate, so he went to his room, which was just as cold and empty as he thought himself to be. He curled up on his blanket, too hot to wrap himself up in it and too cold to not, so he went back and forth, frustrated and exhausted beyond words. He spent the rest of the night (or morning, rather) trying his best not to throw up.

**~*N*~**

Naruto yawned and stretched his arms over his head as he walked into his room. He had fallen asleep while fighting a chocobo eater. He wanted to get past that part so he could get the lightning (or thunder) aoen on his team before he went to bed, but when he closed his eyes just for a few seconds he ended up passing out.

When he had woken up, Sasuke was no longer on the couch and his blanket was tossed to the side. Rather than gather it up and bring it back in his room, he decided to leave it on the couch in case Sasuke fell asleep again and needed it.

The first thing Naruto did when he got into his room was pick up his phone to see if he had any messages. Ignoring the few notifications he got on Facebook, he went straight to his inbox and saw that he had a text from Hinata.

_Hinata: Good morning, Naruto. I was wondering if you wanted to spend some time together today. Any time is good. _

"Hmmm..." Naruto sat on his bed and thought about it. It was Sunday. He usually didn't work on the weekends (it was Sunday) and he really didn't have anything else planned. Also...he really was starting to miss being around people, and Hinata was good people. She was always so nice and considerate. Naruto had never really been alone with her before, so he didn't know her too well, so spending time with her could be a bonding experience.

Nodding to himself, he texted back that he was free all day. After a few more texts, they decided to have dinner at her place and hang out.

Not long after, he heard Sasuke's bedroom door open and shut and his thoughts shifted to him.

_Speaking of people I don't know very well..._

Unlike Hinata, he had spent time alone with Sasuke, but he simply couldn't figure him out. His roommate was a complete mystery to him. Not that Naruto wanted to "solve" him, per se, but he'd be lying if he said he wasn't a little curious about him. When he first moved in, he had simply thought him to be an ass and well...maybe he was, but there was something else there. Something more. Last night he said that he had a hard time sleeping without noise, so was he an insomniac? And why did he look like he regretted it immediately after he said it? Naruto had wanted to ask, but if anything from their earlier interaction said anything, it was that he wasn't going to get an answer.

But surely there had to be someone out there who knew Sasuke...right? Someone he could open up to and spend time with so he wasn't alone.

Right?

But Naruto had never seen Sasuke on his cell and he didn't know if he had a computer or any other means of talking to someone. He also only left to go to work or, in the case of last night, to escape people coming over.

Did he really have no one?

For some reason, that thought kind of hurt. Naruto knew all too well what it felt like to be alone. It made him want to bond a little with Sasuke too. Maybe they could be friends?

...Right. As if Sasuke would ever go for that.

He always acted like he didn't want to be _near_ Naruto, despite living with him.

Closing his eyes, he listened to the little noise Sasuke made. He was in the kitchen, and he could hear him turn the stove top on. Maybe he was making something to eat. Naruto was a bit hungry himself. He liked eating while watching TV. Maybe they could watch something together?

Biting his lip, he left his room to go into the kitchen to see if he could perhaps talk his roommate into spending some time with him.

Maybe Sasuke would even slip again and tell him something else about himself.

Maybe.

**~*S*~**

Dear God he felt like shit.

Sasuke had no doubt he also _looked_ like shit.

He had put the kettle on the stove and had his hands braced on the counter next to it, his head down. He hadn't slept after going back to his room and after awhile, he just gave up. Instead he had mostly just focused on not throwing up. The urge to do so had died down, thankfully, but his head still hurt and there was a tickle in the back of his throat that wouldn't go away. He coughed lightly for the hundredth time, trying not to be too loud. He didn't want his roommate to think he needed to be taken care of like when he had fallen asleep.

Of course, Naruto walked into the kitchen just as he coughed. To make it worse, once he started he couldn't, for the life of him, stop coughing.

Naruto looked at him in concern, so Sasuke closed his eyes.

"Are you alright?"

"I'm _fine_," he wheezed, letting go and coughing as loud as he needed before stopping, taking a deep breath when he did.

"You don't _look_ fine," Naruto said, his voice oddly stern as he walked over to Sasuke and pat him on the back. Sasuke tried to shove Naruto away, but instead of taking the hint and _backing off_, he pressed the back of his hand to Sasuke's forehead and mumbled, "You feel pretty warm."

Sasuke was about to give a snappy reply, but then Naruto left. He probably didn't want to catch anything, especially with rent coming up. Sasuke couldn't afford to take a day off of work either, he knew. But damn was it going to suck when he went in tomorrow.

To his surprise, Naruto came back with a bottle of Nyquil in hand.

"Here, take some of this."

It was quick, but a memory of his mother holding a spoon up for him to take his medicine flashed through his mind.

He placed a hand over his heart and looked away, at the kettle.

"No. I'm fine."

"You're sick!" Naruto put the bottle on the counter, right next to the stove and the kettle. "Just take the fucking medicine. If you're coughing you probably just have a cold, right?"

"Are we done with my check up now, _doctor_?" Sasuke sneered in a mocking tone.

"Why are you being so grouchy?"

Sasuke bit his lip and looked at the bottle. He didn't want to accept anything from his roommate. He couldn't slip. He couldn't afford to slip.

He couldn't afford to get comfortable. To _like_ his roommate. To _be friends_ with his roommate.

And the idea of _depending_ on his roommate for anything made his stomach turn and bunch up into knots.

He just wanted his roommate to leave him alone. He didn't want his concern, his pats, the back of his hand, or his medicine.

He didn't want to be looked after or taken care of, but Naruto stood there with his arms crossed and a stern look on his face.

He felt the urge to scare him away, and also to give in, but then the kettle went off and he inhaled sharply as his head throbbed.

Naruto was the one who turned the stove off and, noticing the mug with a teabag in it, poured the hot water in for him. Sasuke backed up until his back hit the fridge.

_Don't take care of me._

But his heart, his traitorous heart, soaked in the image of Naruto getting his tea ready and the bottle of his medicine on the counter and, for a split second, longed for something more.

Sasuke made sure to squash that feeling and smothered it in guilt.

"Do you like sugar in your tea?" Naruto asked as he got out another mug, a green frog one, and some hot chocolate mix for himself.

Rather than answering, Sasuke just took his mug and left the kitchen, dropping the teabag in the trash on his way out. He was going to go to his room, but his body ached from sleeping on the floor last night and the couch was so comfortable in comparison. So he sat down on the cushions, holding his mug in his lap and listening to Naruto move about in the kitchen. He let his head fall to the back of the couch, ignoring the blanket Naruto had put on him last night that was now bunched up in the corner. He wanted to fold it, but didn't want to put in the energy to at the same time, which seemed to be how Sasuke always felt when he saw anything messy. He had always been a very clean person, but the older he got, the less energy he seemed to have and just...stopped really caring.

With his eyes closed and his jaw going slack, he almost jumped when Naruto touched his shoulder. Had he been close to passing out?

He looked up at Naruto and saw him holding out a plate with some toast on it.

"I made you some toast."

"You should consider being a chef," Sasuke remarked. He stared at the offered plate, hesitating, but gave in and took it despite himself. He was _starving_ and really didn't have the energy to make himself anything.

Besides...Naruto clearly wasn't going to leave him alone and would no doubt give him crap if he didn't eat. He just...didn't want to deal with it.

He most certainly didn't enjoy someone looking out for him.

He _couldn't_.

"Just eat your toast, jerk," Naruto grinned, seeming pleased that Sasuke accepted his offering. It was as if the little argument in the kitchen hadn't happened at all. He sure was quick to forgive and forget, Sasuke noticed.

He looked down at his toast and felt his stomach grumble. Still, he had trouble picking the piece of bread up to eat.

"Did you want butter or anything on it? I wasn't sure if you did, so I didn't put anything on it. I can if you want though," Naruto rambled as he sat on the floor with his hot chocolate in hand. Sasuke looked at his mug instead of at Naruto and noticed there were little marshmallows in it.

Sasuke's –

His heart clenched.

..._He_ always had marshmallows in his hot chocolate too. Sasuke had never cared much for them, never cared much for hot chocolate in general. He preferred drinking bitter tea like his parents. His mother would always pour him a glass on rainy days and they'd spend the time talking about...whatever came to mind.

"It's fine," Sasuke said after awhile, picking up the toast and forcing himself to take a bite. He didn't have much of an appetite, but it would at least sooth the ache in his stomach. The distraction was only nice for so long, especially when his whole body felt like shit.

They sat in silence for awhile, Sasuke drinking his tea, eating his toast, and keeping his eyes in his lap.

**~*N*~**

Naruto watched his roommate with a frown as he drank his hot chocolate. He wondered if he should still go over to Hinata's or if he should stay and...look after him. It felt wrong to bring it up and ask him, and either situation didn't feel all that right. He had already made the plan with Hinata and he didn't want to have to cancel on her. He also didn't think Sasuke wanted to be babied so maybe he should just go and let Sasuke get some rest. Naruto liked to spend his sick days in bed, so he should allow Sasuke the same thing, but he also remembered what it was like to have someone take care of him...

How Sakura used to take care of him, making him soup and checking in on him...and sometimes scolding him. Still, it was nice.

"You're staring," Sasuke mumbled into his cup.

"Huh?"

"If you have something to say, just say it and get it over with."

"Get it over with..." Naruto rubbed the back of his neck. "I guess I was just thinking about how shitty being sick is."

Sasuke grunted.

"You didn't have plans for today, did you?"

"...No."

"Well, that's good at least. I guess." Naruto put his cup down. "Uh, I was going to go out later and..." How to put it?

"So? Just go."

"Huh?"

"If you feel like you have to stay for my sake, _don't_. I've been sick before and I'll be sick again, and I've always been just fine on my own." He narrowed his eyes at Naruto. "I don't need anyone to take of me, and I don't want anyone to."

"But—"

_Isn't that lonely?_

Naruto stopped, looking at his roommate. Was his roommate lonely? Something about that made Naruto's heart ache for him. He knew all too well what _that_ felt like. He didn't want Sasuke to feel that too. He didn't know him very well, and he wasn't exactly the definitely of a good, friendly person, but Naruto didn't want him to be lonely.

That _hurt_.

Naruto wanted to reach out to him, but...he didn't know how. Like he had thought before, he really _didn't_ know his roommate.

Why...did he look so lonely all the time?

Why did it hurt Naruto too?

Naruto wasn't lonely anymore. Not really. Not like before. He had people in his life. He had friends and Jiraiya and Tsunade who had taken care of him and made him feel like less of a foster kid.

But...

He could still remember quite clearly what it was like to not have any of that.

Sasuke had to have it too though, right?

He had been living with Sasuke for...a month? Almost two? Was that right...? It was mid June already. Yet how much did he really know about his roommate other than his name and that he was moody?

It bugged him for some reason.

He looked at his roommate now. He had bags under his eye and was pretty skinny. His shoulders were slumped as if he had no energy. All of this made sense seeing as he was sick. Naruto wanted to look after him. When Sasuke coughed again, loud and long, Naruto made his decision.

Standing up, he went over to stand by Sasuke.

"You done with your tea?"

Sasuke looked up at him with a confused expression.

"...Yes."

Naruto bent down to take it from him and took the plate as well.

"Do you want any more tea?"

Sasuke leaned back into the couch and closed his eyes.

"No."

"I'm going to get the medicine again. Just...take it alright? It'll help you sleep and you look like you need it."

He didn't wait for Sasuke to answer, or to argue, he went inside the kitchen and put the dishes in the sink. He'd wash them later. Grabbing the medicine he went back into the other room where Sasuke was sitting with his head back and his mouth open. He looked _exhausted_. Naruto really wanted him to be able to rest. He couldn't imagine not being able to sleep when sick, and judging by the dark circles under Sasuke's eyes, he was guessing he hadn't been sleeping well. He had woken up on the couch last night too.

To his surprise, Sasuke didn't fight him when he came back in and poured the medicine in the cap for him to take. Maybe he was too tired. He yawned before he took the cap from him.

Naruto watched him take it and lay down on the couch, curling up into a ball.

"Do you need anything else?"

Sasuke didn't answer, just looked at him. He wore no particular expression, so Naruto had no idea what he was thinking.

"I'm going to my friend's later today. I mean, I'm sure you'll be passed out so you probably won't notice," Naruto smiled. "But I just thought I'd let you know. Do you, uh, need me to pick up anything on my way back or..."

"No..." Sasuke answered, his voice so low Naruto almost didn't hear him.

"Okay. I'm just gonna hang out and have dinner there." Naruto grabbed the blanket at the end of the couch and put it over him. Sasuke grabbed his wrist.

"Why are you..." but then Sasuke trailed off.

"What?"

His wrist was released and Sasuke buried his face under the pillow.

"Nothing. Nevermind."

Naruto watched him for a minute, having the strangest urge to put his hand in his roommate's hair. Feeling embarrassed, he rubbed the back of his neck and looked away. Deciding to leave Sasuke alone so he could fall asleep in peace, he went in his room.

He should...take a shower...and get ready to go to Hinata's.

* * *

Thanks for the reviews: **berry5tz, nathanielsims3, NaruSasuNS, psychrainbow81, YaoiOverlord **

**berry5tz:** Haha, don't worry, Jiraiya's too busy with his porn fics to think about giving Naruto's address out XD!

**nathanielsims3: **Lawls. Probably because there isn't much of the story here and I took awhile to update.

**psychrainbow81: **Of course they'll get closer. XD There is still much of the story to be told.


	7. The Chance of a Better Tomorrow

**To Love and be Loved**

Chapter 7: The Chance of a Better Tomorrow

Pairing: Eventual NarutoxSasuke, past NarutoxSakura, minor/temporary NarutoxHinata

Rating: Right now it's like PG13 or T, but it'll build up to M(A)

Warning: Sasuke's not in a good place at this point in the story. Also there is some temporary NaruHina, but don't worry, this is still NaruSasu(Naru) so you'll still get scenes with them, of course.

Author's Note: So when I said this chapter would be up "soonish" I clearly meant months later. -coughs- . Sorry, been working on other stuff. Going to youmacon Halloween weekend! Anyway we learn a bit more about Naruto throughout this chapter so... :D! Hope you like it!

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.

**~*N*~**

Naruto could see Hinata's house as he walked towards it. It was a very nice place, a white two story house with a nicely sized porch. Naruto wouldn't be able to afford living there without a roommate (err, house mate), probably two. She also lived right by the water, as in her backyard was also the beach, a part that she owned. The sound of the water and the birds chirping made for a very pleasant atmosphere. Naruto kind of wished he lived somewhere by the water too.

It was Naruto's first time going to Hinata's and, needless to say, he was impressed. Come to think of it, he didn't know what Hinata did for a living. He did know her father (actually her entire family) was pretty loaded, as shown by her high school graduation present being a new and super expensive car and laptop. Naruto's graduation present had been a porno (thanks, Jiraiya).

It made him feel a little uncomfortable, but that was true of anyone who had money not all the time, but sometimes. Naruto had grown up with very little, not even having a bedroom of his own all the time, or a bed, so to be around someone who had grown up financially secure and well off made him feel a bit out of place.

As he stood in front of her door, he smoothed out his clothes, not that it was too wrinkly, but it wasn't pristine either. Maybe he'd buy an iron one day, but he'd probably never end up using it. He wore a dark green hoodie over a black t-shirt, faded blue jeans, and sneakers, all of which cost him about $20 (three cheers for awesome sales and thrift stores).

Not that Naruto was ashamed of his upbringing, far from it, but kids, and people in general, were cruel. He had been made to know exactly how rich people thought of him (and people like him) at a very young age.

But...Hinata wasn't like that. He reminded himself of this as he knocked on her door, forgetting that she had a doorbell.

Hinata opened the door and immediately smiled warmly at him, and he felt welcomed. Hinata was a good person, kind and warm. She wore a pretty lavender summer dress and white slippers.

"Hello Naruto, I'm glad you could make it," she said as she moved aside to let him in. He took his shoes off at the door when noticing all the shoes by it, and was glad he managed to find clean (orange and green stripped) socks to wear.

"Hey Hinata, nice place." He gave the foyer a good once over. Everything was neat and clean. It was hands down the nicest house he'd ever been in.

"Oh, well I'm renting it from a relative of mine," Hinata smiled. "So it's not really mine." She closed the door and led him through the house, the downstairs area anyway. He stopped for a second to appreciate her fireplace, silently wishing he lived in a house with one, before she led him to the dining room.

"So...what did you wanna do?" Naruto asked, not sure what they _could_ do together. He'd never been invited to do anything with Hinata and had never been alone with her before. It was one of the reasons why he really didn't know her that well. Naruto didn't think it was possible to know someone really well unless he spent time alone with them. But then, maybe that wasn't true. He spent lots of alone time with Sasuke, but he still...

"I thought we could have dinner together. I really love to cook and was looking through all kinds of fun recipes to try."

"Oh, cooking, I, um, yeah, I can do that...maybe..." Naruto chuckled and rubbed the back of his neck.

Hinata giggled, covering her mouth with a loose fist as she did. "You're my guest, so you don't have to worry about it."

"Okay. So...dinner, huh? Is anyone else coming?"

"N-no, it's just going to be us," Hinata in a rush, stumbling a little over her words. She looked down, away from him, and blushed a little.

It made Naruto a bit nervous, but he decided to not pay it much mind.

"That's cool. Are you sure you don't want my help in the kitchen?"

"Oh no, just make yourself at home. It's not anything too fancy anyway, but...I hope it'll please you."

This time Naruto blushed. Pleased him? Even Sakura had never been concerned about whether her cooking pleased him. She wanted him to like what she made when she cooked, sure, but he always thought she wanted the compliments. Not that there was anything wrong with that. Naruto had no problem complimenting people, especially people he liked.

"Well, it won't take long. I'll be right back." Hinata walked through a white door with no knob.

Left alone in the dining room, Naruto took his hoodie off and set it on the chair. He decided to do a little snooping, looking around at some pictures. There were a few with their friends, more with Kiba than anyone else, and Naruto wondered if maybe Kiba was her best friend. He'd always thought Kiba and Shino were best friends, but maybe he was wrong. Naruto chewed on the corner of his mouth as he let the fact of him not having a best friend pass, and then tried to distract himself by looking at more pictures of Hinata with her family.

He saw a picture of her with her cousin, Neji. He had long, dark brown hair and very light eyes and skin. He looked rather... Naruto bit harder on the corner of his mouth, afraid of the thought that wanted to come up. Closing his eyes, he backed away from the picture and tried to think about something else, a woman, but...there weren't any he was interested in...

Not having someone precious to think about made him a little sad. To Naruto, his relationships with people were everything. Not just a romantic relationship, but his friendships too. He truly treasured everyone in his life. But...he couldn't deny that he missed having a romantic relationship with someone. Someone to hold hands with, to talk to late at night while in bed, to cuddle and spoon with.

Deciding to get away from the pictures, Naruto sat down. Pictures at houses were always a double edged sword for him. They reminded him of what he didn't have, but he also liked looking at what others did have. It was like peeking into their life and the people in it.

To move his mind away from certain thoughts, he got his phone out and decided to text for a little bit. He knew not to text Shikamaru since he took _forever_ to respond. Texting Ino would have been weird, considering she was more Sakura's friend than his, he wasn't close enough to Shino to even know what to talk about and he wasn't in the mood to talk to Kiba. Frowning, he realized he really didn't have anyone to just text out of nowhere about random things. He had only ever really done that with Sakura.

Suddenly, he felt rather lonely, even though he was in someone else's house.

His mind drifted back to his roommate. Was he up? Was he lonely like him? He kind of wanted to go home and talk to him for some reason, even though his roommate rarely ever talked to him. Still, there was something about him Naruto was finding difficult to ignore or leave him alone, but he couldn't figure out why.

Hinata came out then with a bowl and a large plate and his mind was pulled back to the present when he smelled the food.

"Hey, that smells really good."

"Thank you, I'll be right back with the rest?"

"There's more?" Naruto asked as he looked over what she had already brought out. Hinata wasn't long, quickly coming back with two more bowls (one small and one medium size) and two plates. She set a plate in front of him and then sat across from him, the food in between them.

She had made them salmon, boiled eggs in the small bowl, brown rice in the medium, and a Caesar salad in the large bowl.

"Ah man Hinata, this looks really good!"

"I'm glad. I hope it'll taste okay." She set down a plate in front of him so he could pick what he wanted.

Naruto wasn't a huge fan of vegetables, but he made sure to put some of the salad on his plate, determined to try everything. It wasn't often that someone else cooked for him, not even as a kid, so Naruto always felt very special and _grateful_ when someone did.

"So...do you still draw, Naruto?" Hinata asked while filling up her own plate.

"Not for awhile. I guess I got distracted by college and..." _Sakura_, his mind finished, but he decided not to bring her up, and Hinata didn't ask him to finish.

"I see. Are you still going to school?" Hinata smiled, but looked unsure.

Naruto shifted, becoming uncomfortable. "No. I'm uh, taking a break I guess."

"Sometimes breaks are good."

"Uh, yeah." But since Naruto didn't want to talk about it, he quickly changed the conversation away from school and the future. "So what do you like to do, Hinata? I realized lately that I don't actually know too much about you. This is the first time we hung out together too."

"Oh, well, I like to read and...make things."

Immediately Naruto perked up. "What kind of things?"

"Mm. Decorative things, like necklaces and bracelets, or just little somethings to put around the house. Sometimes I go out to the beach and make things out of the shells I find. I've also been thinking about getting into knitting or crocheting. I wouldn't mind making my own scarves and hats for this winter."

"That sounds really cool."

"Thank you." Hinata looked at him shyly. "Maybe I'll make something for you, if you want."

Naruto froze at that, his fork halfway to his mouth and his lips parted as he stared at Hinata in surprise.

"_Really_?"

"I-I mean, if you want me to. I certainly won't...um, force you to wear anything." Hinata's voice shook as she spoke, her hands in her lap as she looked anywhere but at him.

Feeling bad, he lowered his fork and assured her in a soft voice, "That'd mean a lot, Hinata. Thank you." And he meant it. No one had ever made him anything. He had drawn things for Sakura, back in middle and high school, but Sakura wasn't a creative type, and no one else had given him anything handmade either.

To get a handmade gift...that was something Naruto never thought he'd receive.

With that, Hinata seemed to regain her confidence, bringing her eyes up to lock with his. Her cheeks were still red, but she smiled widely and warmly at him, in a way that made him feel like he was special.

And it had been a long time since he'd felt special to someone.

They began eating and Naruto made sure to eat all of the salad he put on his plate. It was actually good, mostly cause of the cheese and dressing and croutons, naturally. He also got two halves of one whole egg and ate that with the salad. Once that was out of the way, he ate the fish and the rice together.

"Do you like it?"

"Mmm. It's really good. I like the seasoning on the fish. I've never had brown rice before, but I like it." He looked up at Hinata and grinned. "It's been awhile since I've had anything other than ramen or food from the restaurant I work at."

"I'm glad. If you're still hungry afterwards we can have some ice cream. I have chocolate."

He was about to say hell yes to that, but an image of Sasuke flashed in his mind.

"Thanks, but I don't think I should stay too long. My roommate's pretty sick and I wanna make sure he's alright." He hoped Sasuke was sleeping soundly. For some reason, it just...it _bothered_ Naruto for Sasuke to not have anyone to take care of him when he was sick, and even more for him to not have anyone at all.

"That's okay." Hinata's eyes softened. "You care so much for others, Naruto. It's a trait I really admire."

"Really? Thanks, Hinata," he said sincerely.

"You're welcome. I'm just glad I'm able to spend some time alone with you. I've wanted to for a long time, but I never had the courage. So I'm happy." Hinata's voice shook a little bit at the end, but she had come a long way since high school, and Naruto felt a little proud for her.

"Me too. This almost feels like a date," Naruto chuckled, almost nervously, his face feeling a bit warm. He was waiting for Hinata to deny it or laugh, but when he looked at her she was biting her lip and looking down at her plate, nervous.

He put his fork down.

"Uh...Hinata...?"

"Y-yes?"

Was she shaking?

"Is this a date?"

"N-no! It's not a – I mean, it's...I hope..."

Naruto just watched her, frozen in his seat, as she calmed herself and seemed to regain her courage. When she looked back at him, her back was straight, her hands were in her lap, and her eyes were determined.

"This isn't a date, I just...I wanted some time alone with you so I could..." she trailed off, breathing evenly as if to keep herself calm, taking breaks between what she was saying. "So I could ask you out on a _real_ date."

Naruto's lips parted in surprise. Hinata was...way out of his league (but then, so was Sakura). He'd never thought someone like her, who came from a big and rich family, would ever be interested in someone like him. He had _nothing_ to offer her. Fuck he didn't even have a car of his own (which, of course, she did). Not to mention, Hinata was gorgeous. With her long dark hair, fair skin, pale eyes and curvy figure. She was seriously pretty enough to model, or so Naruto thought. Whereas Naruto was...barely average. And he had stopped working out a little before Sakura broke up with him so he wasn't as in shape as he used to be.

Why would someone like her be interested in someone like him?

"So...w-will you...? Go on a date...with me...?"

Hinata appeared so vulnerable to him right then, and he found he really didn't want to hurt her. Vulnerability...that _meant_ something to him.

When Naruto hadn't spoken after some time, he cleared his throat. "Sorry, I just...really wasn't expecting this. I've...never seen you so...uh..."

"Well...I'm trying to be more assertive. I want to be honest about what I want."

Which was...a date with him... It felt unreal.

But...was he even _ready_ to be someone's boyfriend again? _Could_ he? And Hinata was his friend too. Did he want to risk losing another friend for a relationship? What if it didn't work out? Even if she wasn't as close of a friend to him as Sakura had been, she was still his friend.

But then, wasn't it good for a relationship to start out that way? As friends? Naruto had always wanted a lover who was also a best friend...a partner...a companion...

Maybe that was Hinata? What if she was his soul mate, but he couldn't see it because he was too focused on the past?

There were so many buts and what ifs. He was thankful for Hinata's patience. She didn't try to rush him to answer, and after awhile said to him:

"You don't have to give me an answer today. You can let me know...whenever you know. If you need to think about it...I understand."

And, somehow, Hinata's patience and honesty and courage made his decision.

"I don't need time. I'll go on a date with you."

And Hinata's face lit up as she smiled the most genuine smile at him, looking happy and giddy and even bouncing in her seat. It made Naruto feel...good.

He would give this a try. It was time to move on.

**~*S*~**

Sasuke was woken up by an overwhelming feeling of nausea. He tried to fight it for about five minutes before stumbling into the bathroom and falling at the toilet, hunched over and vomited. His skin was covered in cold sweat and he shivered with how cold he suddenly felt. His head was _pounding_ so badly it felt like it had a _pulse._ His body shook, like he had no energy, but he knew he absolutely would _not_ be able to keep anything down if he tried to eat.

_Fuck_.

He couldn't fucking be sick, he had a job, rent, car insurance, gas, and bills! He felt like he had the flu, but god, he hoped it was just a twenty four hour bug. He literally couldn't _afford_ to be sick for anything more than a day. He could feel his heart rate picking up as he began to stress over rent, which was coming up sooner than he'd like. He tried to calculate everything in his head. He could always just take the bus to work so he didn't have to pay for gas...

Just thinking about his future stress made him wish he hadn't given up smoking. He had done so after he lost his previous job, while thinking of all the costs he could cut out of his life.

The more he thought about it, the more upset his stomach got, the harder his head pounded, and his eyes were so watery it was as if he was crying as he felt like he was hurling out his insides.

Or maybe he was crying. He couldn't even tell anymore, could only feel the tears roll down his cheeks and gather at his chin.

For some reason, a memory of his mother taking care of him when he was sick flashed in his mind. She would always coddle him when he was sick. Making him delicious foods and bringing it to him on a tray, sitting with him while he ate in bed, giving him medicine, making sure he was as comfortable as possible, checking in on him...his mother had done so much for him. She had been the best mother in the entire world, as far as he was concerned.

Sasuke rested his cheek on his forearm, which was on the toilet seat. He was done puking, but still felt nauseous. He wouldn't be surprised if he spent the rest of the night cold and sick on the bathroom floor, his body still trembling, though not as violently as before.

He sniffed, closing his eyes as he tried to remember the warmth his mother had given him in his childhood...but he couldn't remember. All he felt was the cold tiled floors. It was June, but it was still rather chilly. He believed it was in the fifties. Not freezing, but not warm or hot either. Plus he lived in a basement apartment, so it was always a bit cooler.

Just as he felt like he was about to throw up again, he heard the door closing, signaling that Naruto was home. Not wanting his roommate to see him in such a pathetic state, Sasuke shut the bathroom door, but he didn't have time to lock it before he was hunching over the toilet again and coughing in between throwing up whatever was left in his stomach.

"Sasuke? Are you okay?" he heard Naruto call from the other side of the door, with the _stupidest_ fucking question he'd heard in a _long_ time. He would have snapped back at him, but he wasn't exactly in the position to be saying anything.

The door opened, and Sasuke squeezed his eyes shut, more tears sliding down his cheeks as he did. He didn't want to see him though, nor did he want to _be_ seen.

"Ah shit," Naruto bent down next to Sasuke and rubbed his back, not that Sasuke was really registering it.

"Your hair's kinda...uhh..." Naruto touched Sasuke's bangs, which were long enough to frame his face, but before he could pull them back or tuck them behind his ear or _whatever_ he was going to do, Sasuke slapped his hand away, then flushed the toilet and fall back to lean against the wall. He felt...a bit better. His stomach was so empty it ached, but the nausea was finally over, at least for a little bit.

"Go away, Naruto," he managed to say in a calm and even voice.

To his surprise, Naruto did walk out and he ignored the small pang in his chest at it. Sighing, he pushed himself up to his feet and went to the sink to wash his face (and his bangs). He was about to drink the water too and wash his mouth out, but then Naruto was at his side again with a bottle of water.

"It's better than tap water," Naruto said with a shrug.

Sasuke stared at the bottle, torn between taking it and ignoring it.

Naruto rolled his eyes at him and shoved it into his chest.

"It's not fucking poison. Just drink it."

And he did, he washed his mouth out quickly and then sat back down against the wall. He told himself that he only accepted the bottle because he was so god damn tired. He had just wanted to sit down, and this way he wouldn't have to get back up if he wanted some water. Naruto stayed standing in the doorway and Sasuke did his best to ignore him, not knowing what to say or do to make him to leave, and too tired to convince him (and himself) that he wanted him to.

Ignoring Naruto was impossible though. Even when he didn't say anything, Sasuke could still feel his presence, and it wasn't long before Naruto moved, sitting down next to him with a sigh.

He could feel Naruto's arm against his and his heart reacted stupidly to it.

He opened his tired eyes when he felt a hand press against his forehead. He looked over at Naruto as he moved his hand so the back of it was against his cheek.

"You're really warm." Naruto frowned.

"So are you," he mumbled back as he pushed Naruto's hand away from his face.

For some reason, Naruto shuffled closer and Sasuke had to fight the urge to both move away and to move closer as well. Something was building in his chest. Desire and longing. He ached for human contact, for physical contact. How long had it been since he'd been close to another? He was only human himself. Would it really be so bad for him to just...give in? To maybe lean his head against Naruto's shoulder. To feel another person's warmth? To allow another person into his space?

He was so god damn _tired_. And he felt like shit. His body felt weak and so did his resolve.

So he gave in, on a whim.

He felt Naruto tense as he pressed closer to him, pressing their sides more firmly together, until he was fully leaning on him. He rested his head on his roommate's shoulder and closed his eyes, not wanting to see his reaction. Naruto exhaled slowly, and Sasuke wondered briefly if he had been holding his breath, but he never pulled away. Sasuke didn't exactly feel content, having Naruto so close to him. He wasn't sure what he was feeling. On one hand, he wanted to throw up again, feeling a bit overwhelmed with emotions, but on another, he felt...as close to comfortable as he had been all day, more than he had been on the couch or in his room.

So, there on the bathroom floor with Naruto as his only support, he fell back asleep, hoping he'd feel better in the morning.

* * *

I decided Naruto should try and move on with someone else before anything real starts happening between him and Sasuke. At least we see that he's trying to move on and that he's opening his mind to there being someone out there for him. Please bear with it. ^^;

Thanks for the reviews: **Akira Nishikawa, berry5tz, NaruSasuNS, the Moon our Witness, KH freak 813, Guest,** and **xoxLennexox**

**Akira Nishikawa:** Yes...when it comes to someone who's in a place like Sasuke, patience is a MUST. Though Naruto doesn't know anything yet, so he's just being his usual self with Sasuke which, thankfully, is what Sasuke will need.

**berry5tz:** I loved writing Sasuke's nightmare. I love writing dreams in general lol. I tend to have very vivid dreams and talking about them with my friends so...idk. I just like dreams a lot and if I feel I can incorporate them into my stories, I will. X3 Also...yes, there is guilt for what Sasuke feels he's done. Very nice picking up on that based on the dream. And it's definitely linked. I love your reviews, so thank you again for them! They're fun for me to read :D!

**NaruSasuNS:** Lol you called it. XD Now he and Hinata are...not necessarily boyfriend/girlfriend but they're going on a date. Of course, it won't last. Obviously. This is still a NaruSasu fic XD! But yeah, Hinata was definitely flirting or at least putting herself out there for him.


	8. Maybe

**To Love and be Loved**

Chapter 8: Maybe

Pairings: Eventual NarutoxSasuke, past NarutoxSakura, minor/temporary NarutoxHinata

Rating: Right now it's like PG13 or T, but it'll build up to M(A)

Warning: Sasuke's not in a good place at this point in the story.

Author's Note: Lol it's been so long I had to reread the story myself. Not that I forgot the story, but little details…I ended up taking notes of them as I went so I don't forget (like how long Naruto and Sakura's relationship lasted, when it started, how long his relationships previously were, etc). So anyway! Here's a new chapter. I haven't given up on this story just yet.

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.

**~*N*~**

Naruto leaned his elbows on the counter and stared at his reflection in the mirror across from him that ran along the wall. He was at work and he looked as tired as he felt. He just couldn't go to sleep last night, too many thoughts and emotions running through him. At first he felt regret and worry, wondering if he had done the right thing agreeing to go on a date with Hinata. He had nothing to offer her. He felt guilty for wishing he hadn't agreed, then he had convinced himself it would be nice since it had been so long since he'd received that kind of affection.

Well, he would figure it out when they went on the date, but he wouldn't force a relationship again. He had learned from that mistake when he'd done it with Sakura. Lesson _learned_.

Then he thought about Sakura. Was she dating too? Did it bother him? He didn't want her back, nor did he miss being romantically with her (though he still missed being friends with her). He just...wasn't sure how he felt about it or where he was with it. Sakura was a good girlfriend and he wanted her to be happy.

It was just confusing.

And through all of that, his thoughts and focus kept going back to Sasuke, who he tried to take care of last night. He was surprised when Sasuke leaned against him. He had seemed so small then, which was weird. Sasuke had such a presence about him. He had looked like he didn't need or even want anyone. But was that really true? Was it even possible for someone to get by in life with no one? Naruto didn't think so, but he also always wondered again and again if Sasuke had anyone.

How was he even handling it if he didn't have anyone? Naruto wasn't sure he could. He had been there as a kid, before he had been taken in by someone who actually gave a shit at thirteen. Before that, though, there was no one. He hadn't had any friends in elementary or most of middle school and never hung out with anyone outside of school until high school. Everyone had thought he was just a weird kid and he got picked on mercilessly for it – and for being a bit of a shrimp. It wasn't until his late teens that he finally hit his (_late_) growth spurt.

Naruto never wanted to go back to a time when he had no one.

He was pulled from his thoughts when he saw two people enter the restaurant from the mirror, hearing the beeping from the kitchen from where he was.

Speaking of friends...

Naruto turned with a grin as Shino and Kiba walked up to the counter. Kiba had a bit of a sour expression.

"What's up with you? Did a dog pee on you again?"

Kiba didn't answer him, just grumbled that he was going to the bathroom to Shino.

Weird.

He turned to Shino.

"What's he bein' a bitch about?"

"Ignore him. He's trying to quit smoking again. And he heard some rather...well...he's had a rough week."

Shino sounded almost bored, but Naruto couldn't tell anything since the guy hid his eyes and expression from everyone all the time. He was annoyingly hard to read for it.

"Ooookay. So are you guys for here or take out?"

"Take out. I don't think Kiba should remain in public for too long."

"Yeah, best take him home where he can't embarrass himself by acting like a little kid."

To the outside viewer, it might have sounded harsh, but Naruto's friendship with Kiba was like that. They insulted each other often, sometimes it was playful and other times it actually turned into a fight.

Shino didn't respond to that, just started looking at the menu. The restaurant he worked at was a pizza place, though they also had subs, nachos, and of course bread sticks. He ordered for both himself and Kiba, and by the time it was all done Kiba was sitting next to Shino looking grumpy as hell. Whenever he looked over at Naruto, he could have sworn his eyes narrowed.

"Here ya go princess," Naruto said jokingly to Kiba, who snorted in return, but didn't say anything. "What's your problem today?"

"Shut up. It's hot as fuck outside. Not that you'd know."

"Ah, true. AC is a beautiful thing."

"It's June now. Summer's right around the corner in just a couple of weeks," Shino said.

"Whatever. Can we go now?" Without waiting for an answer, Kiba grabbed the bag of food and turned to leave.

Naruto watched them go with a frown. He knew he hadn't done anything to piss Kiba off recently, and Kiba wasn't even the type to hold a grudge if he did. They'd fight about it right away and then it'd be over, after they got some space anyway.

He walked over to the window and wondered just how hot it was out there that Kiba would turn into such a brat.

He didn't have long to think about it, since the phone rang and he went back to work.

**~*S*~**

Sasuke woke up on the couch and put a hand to his forehead. He felt a lot better than yesterday, but had stayed home due to Naruto's constant pestering after he leaned on him and…might have fallen asleep on the floor like that. When he woke up, he was being carried – dragged – to the couch.

Naruto had gotten him a bottle of water and a blanket since it got a bit chilly at night. He spent all the time before Sasuke passed back out fretting over him. It was annoyingly…nice…

Fuck.

He couldn't get used to this. He regretted listening to Naruto and taking the day off. He had bills to pay! And rent for the month! And car insurance! And gas! And _food_!

Damn it. Naruto just didn't understand. Sasuke was sure Naruto made more than him, what with working at a restaurant. He was probably making more than minimum wage.

Maybe Sasuke should be a waiter…except he wasn't good with people and would probably get shit tips for it. Naruto was so annoyingly nice and pleasant and friendly that he probably got tipped really well. There was just something about Naruto that was so…

Naruto had even said that if Sasuke fell short on anything this month he'd help him out, and he didn't even want Sasuke to pay him back. The way he looked at Sasuke…it was like he cared… But how could he? They were still strangers.

But still…it didn't feel awful, being cared about.

Loud knocking at his window took him out of his thoughts and he looked up to see…

God damn it.

With a groan, Sasuke got up from the couch and went to outside, putting on a pair of socks and shoes, though still being in the clothes he slept in. There was no point in getting dressed for _this_ idiot, especially when he was just wearing ratty old jeans and plain white t-shirt.

When he opened the door he was met with a toothy grin and the sun in his face, making him squint. The weather had risen to be in the late seventies, even though it was in the early sixties just the day before.

"Hey man, miss me yet?" his old roommate, Suigetsu, asked.

"What do you want?"

"To see your pretty face, of course. Ya gonna invite me in or what?"

"I'd rather not."

"So cold. As always. Still on the search for that great love?"

Sasuke shook his head. "Never have, never will."

"Uh huh. Yanno, you really hurt Juugo. Sleepin' with him and then just tossin' him aside like that. I know you've got that heart of ice goin' for ya but _damn_, yanno he really liked you."

Sasuke's hand on the door tightened.

"What do you _want_?"

Suigetsu put his hands up as if to admit defeat. "Alright, alright. I won't mention Juugo anymore. It's not like I really care either way. He's not exactly my best bud forever. I just came to hang alright?"

"I'm not feeling well, so I'd rather not."

"Ah, come on! Please?! Karin's been on my _ass_ and I just want a place to chill for awhile."

Sasuke tilted his head back and closed his eyes, inhaling deeply. Suigetsu wasn't going to quit. Sasuke could either slam the door in his face and hide out in his room or just let him in and save himself the headache.

"Don't bother me," Sasuke said and turned to walk back inside, leaving the door open.

"Thanks man! I am _thirsty_ and ran out of water on the way here!"

Sasuke ignored him and just went back to lay on the couch. Maybe he could just fall back asleep and pretend Suigetsu wasn't there. After all, he had a lot of practice ignoring him, having lived with him.

**~*N*~**

After Naruto got off of the bus, he called Hinata.

"How was your day today?" Hinata asked, and Naruto gripped his phone. It had been awhile since he'd been asked that. He remembered Sakura asking him that…and how they used to talk about almost everything together. Almost. There were always things he held back, and he knew she did too.

He didn't want that again.

He didn't want to have to hold back. He wanted a relationship where he could be wholly honest and not hide anything he thought or felt.

Could he have that with Hinata?

"It was alright. Kiba and Shino came by earlier. It was weird cause Kiba was kinda bein' a bit…bitchy? I don't know. But he wasn't in a good mood."

"Oh…maybe it's the heat? Kiba wears so much black and likes dressing a bit heavier."

"Yeah, maybe. Uh, sorry if that was a weird thing to bring up. I just remembered he's a good friend of yours."

"It's alright."

But Hinata already sounded far away, as if she was thinking about it.

Naruto wanted to slap his forehead. He didn't want to make her worry about anything.

"So, anyway, our date."

"Yes?"

"I work Friday night and got scheduled for Saturday this week. Um, I don't usually work Saturday, but I could use the extra money so it's actually good timing and – anyway, is Sunday okay?"

"Sunday is perfect."

"Heh, by then I should figure out where we're going to eat."

"I was actually thinking that I could...make us something."

"Ah no, you cooked for us last time. I should take you out. It's a date after all."

"But I _want_ to cook for you."

Naruto's cheeks heated a bit at that.

"But…"

"We can go see a movie after, if you'd like."

"Oh, sure. What kind of movies do you like?"

Hinata was quiet for a bit before responding, almost whispering her answer as if embarrassed.

"Romantic movies…"

Naruto laughed. "I see. I, um, don't know of any playing, but I'll look!"

"If not, something you'd like would be fine."

"Ah man, I'd like somethin' like that shark movie that's supposed to come out next month. Or some stupid comedy or…aaah, there's this cartoon movie about pets comin' out that I wanna see. It's not out yet though. Ah, that ghost movie is out though."

"A ghost movie might be…nice."

"Really? I never took you for a scary movie person."

"I'm normally not, but I don't mind it on occasion."

For some reason, Naruto remembered one of the conversations he had with Sasuke about genre. He wondered if Sasuke would like to see it, but that was stupid. It wasn't like he was going to ask him to third wheel his date, but maybe some other time. It might be fun to go to the movies with him. Or interesting, at the very least. It'd be interesting to see Sasuke out in a social setting in general. And it'd be good for him too, Naruto thought.

"Naruto?"

"Huh? Oh, right. Yeah, I'll look at times and stuff and get back to you."

"Okay."

"Um, I'm going to see someone, a woman named Tsunade. She's an older woman who used to help look out for me when I was younger and stupid. I'm almost there so…I'll talk to you later?"

"Alright. I'm looking forward to our date."

Naruto didn't know how he felt about it, but thankfully Hinata wasn't expecting a response and so they said their goodbyes and hung up.

Awkward.

It felt like so long since he'd talked to someone other than Sakura about dates. Was it always that awkward? With Sakura it was so casual, this was just stressful. He didn't know what the right thing to say or do was.

Best not to think on it.

He put his phone in his jean pocket. It was pretty warm out, especially when wearing pants and shoes. The weather spiked up rather quickly seeing as it wasn't that hot out yesterday. Naruto had been comfortable in a hoodie outside. Now he wouldn't touch a hoodie for anything.

He saw Tsunade's house. It was a plain white house and didn't stand out too much. However, just as he got to the driveway, the door opened and a familiar face came out…and he was smacked in the face with too many memories.

Memories of coming to see Tsunade together, of the two of them hitting it off right away due to their paths in life, of Tsunade asking him when he was going to propose already…

Sakura.

Naruto's heart began pounding in his chest, in a very painful and unpleasant way. He gripped his phone in his pocket and tried to remember Hinata, but found that he could think of no one but Sakura at that moment.

When she turned around, her eyes found his immediately and widened.

"Naruto?"

Naruto wanted to say hi, wanted to act like everything was normal and be casual and collected, but he couldn't speak. His heart was lodged in his throat.

Sakura didn't seem as bothered. She froze for a moment, but then walked over to him.

"Hey." She smiled, almost shyly.

It was cute.

Sakura looked good. Her style was always mixed between tomboyish to very pretty and cute. Today was the latter, of course. She wore a white dress with mint colored flower designs on it. It had a sash around her waist and was tied to the right. She had done her makeup, but it was rather simple with just foundation and some mascara. Still, her jade eyes stood out.

Naruto had always thought she had beautiful eyes.

"Hey," Naruto croaked, and then coughed and cleared his throat and tried again. "Uh, how are you?"

"I'm good. It's good to see you."

Naruto wanted to hug her, to tell her everything about what was going on, about Hinata, about his roommate, about his new place, about annoying customers at work and the nice ones. But he couldn't say any of that.

She wasn't his girlfriend.

He didn't even know if she was his friend anymore.

"You too." He smiled a small smile.

"And how have you been? Anything exciting happen?"

Naruto fidgeted, not sure how much he could say or if he should just give a generic answer.

"Um, I'm good. I…found a new place and…I'm going on a date this Sunday."

Sakura's face softened. "Really? That's great, Naruto."

"Yeah?"

Sakura nodded. "You deserve someone…who can make you happy. I _know_ you'll make whoever you end up with _very_ happy."

_But you broke up with me. Was I not able to make you happy?_

Naruto had no right to say that, especially when he hadn't been happy in their relationship.

Still, he felt conflicted hearing that from her. A part of him was relieved, happy even, another part was confused and sad.

"So you're here to see Tsunade? I'll leave you to that then."

"Yeah…"

There were so many things he wanted to ask, to say, before they parted, but he couldn't say any of it. He just watched her hesitate, and then walk past him to her car. He didn't turn around to watch her leave, but he heard her drive off and let out a breath he had been holding in.

His chest hurt and…he didn't want to see Tsunade anymore.

He'd only think of _her_.

He felt so fucking guilty about it. He was about to go on a date with Hinata, and yet he had acted like that around his ex. He had remembered her face, her touch, her companionship, and…

He wanted to go home.

He should check on Sasuke anyway. Maybe looking after him would wipe his mind of anything else, like it had last night…

**~*N*~**

When Naruto got to the driveway, he saw a guy with short white hair leaving. When the guy saw him, he grinned widely at him, and Naruto became immediately interested.

Was this guy a friend of Sasuke's?

What kind of friends did he have? What were they like?

"Hey," the guy greeted.

"Hey. You a friend of Sasuke's?"

"Heh. I doubt he'd want me to say yes to that, so, yes. Name's Suigetsu. And you? Are you the new roommate?"

"I am." Naruto smiled, mostly because he didn't know what else to do.

"Maybe I should part with you some words of wisdom. Sasuke isn't the easiest roommate to have. He's ice cold, you know."

Naruto's smile instantly vanished.

"That's…he's not that bad."

"Uh huh. Whatever ya say buddy." He clapped Naruto's shoulder, as if in sympathy. Naruto didn't like it. "Best to just not even try to go there with him. He never gets close to anyone. My advice? Don't take it personally. It's not you. It's everyone. Hell, even my boy who slept with him couldn't get so much as a call back."

Naruto was about to shrug the hand off his shoulder, but froze in shock.

Boy?

Sasuke had…

He looked at Suigetsu with wide eyes.

"Sasuke's…gay?"

Suigetsu shrugged. "Who knows with that guy? The only person I know he's been with is Juugo."

"Why would you tell me that?"

"What?"

Naruto felt angry all of a sudden, or perhaps…protective.

Naruto made a gesture with his hands. "That he's – I haven't even lived with him that long and even I can tell he's a private person. Why would you just tell some random person you don't even know something like – like _that_?! What the fuck?"

Suigetsu just shrugged again and, to Naruto's annoyance, looked amused.

"I doubt he'd give a shit. He doesn't give a shit about _anything_." His grin widened. "Or any_one_. Maybe you should think about that before you get all," Suigetsu waved a hand at him, "whatever this is about it."

Naruto wanted to tell him off, but what he said about Sasuke not caring about anything…or anyone…it hurt.

"Anyway, as fun as this is, I gotta get going." Suigetsu held up his phone, which started vibrating. "Girlfriend's callin'."

Naruto didn't say anything as Suigetsu walked around him and left. He noticed he had clenched his fists as he was talking to him. Taking a deep breath, he looked at the door that would lead him to the basement and to their apartment. He brought his hand up to rub at his chest, which still stung.

Did Naruto care about his roommate?

Of course he did. Naruto cared about everyone in his life, even moody roommates who apparently didn't care about…

No. Suigetsu didn't get to speak for Sasuke. Who's to say he was even Sasuke's friend while he lived with him?

Naruto's mind went back to that little bit about…Sasuke…

Why did it bother him so much that Suigetsu told him? Now that Suigetsu was gone, he didn't feel angry anymore, just…pensive and confused. Something he was feeling too often, in his opinion. He missed when things were simple and he was so sure of everything. He was straight, he was in love with his best friend, they were going to get married and have kids and he was going to go back to school and figure out what to do, and get an awesome career he'd love.

But then Sakura and he had started dating and it had never felt right and he was always worried, happy, regretful, confused, sad, and angry with himself.

He was still a lot of that, but for different reasons, and also just…lost.

He wasn't so sure of anything anymore.

Taking a deep breath, he went inside his apartment and heard noise from the TV. He took his shoes off at the door, placing them next to Sasuke's. Before passing the fridge, he got out a bottle of water.

Sasuke was right where he left him, laying on the couch. For a minute, he just stood and stared at him. He didn't look as flushed as this morning and had a bottle of water on the floor next to the couch that was almost empty. Naruto had gotten his own bottle for himself, but decided to set it down next to Sasuke's after walking over to him.

Sasuke opened his eyes when he did and just looked at him in a way that made him want to fidget. He didn't wear any expression, but it was like he was studying him. As if trying to figure him out.

"Hey, back from work."

"I can see that."

Naruto just nodded and went to sit at the table by the wall. He looked at the TV, but it was just a commercial.

"So I ran into your old roommate outside."

"Hn."

"He's…uh…" Naruto shifted. Not sure if he should tell Sasuke what Suigetsu told him.

"An idiot."

Naruto snorted. "Well, _yeah_." Naruto played with his jeans, bunching the denim up in his fingers and then letting it to go and smoothing it out, only to bunch it up again. "He, um, were you guys friends?"

"I don't have friends," Sasuke said simply.

"Not at all?"

"No."

"That's…"

"None of your business."

Naruto stood up, but he wasn't sure why. He wanted to say that it _was_ his business. He wanted to say that _he_ was Sasuke's friend. But the words wouldn't come.

Instead, he asked, "How are you feeling? Do you need any pain killers or anything for your stomach?"

"I'm fine."

"What about food? Did you eat yet?"

"Naruto, I'm _fine_."

_I'm not so sure. _

_And._

_I'm not…_

Naruto chewed on the corner of his mouth as he watched Sasuke, who had his eyes closed and looked relaxed and comfortable enough. Naruto was almost disappointed. He had wanted to take care of Sasuke, to distract himself from…what had happened earlier.

His mind was everywhere. Thinking about Sasuke and everything Suigetsu had said, about his encounter with Sakura, and about his date and guilt with Hinata, and…about himself…

Sighing, he sat back down, feeling rather pathetic.

**~*S*~**

When Naruto sat back down with a sigh, Sasuke looked over at him. He had his hands between his knees and his head bowed. He looked…

It bothered him.

Sasuke was surprised at the desire to ask him what was wrong when it had nothing to do with him. He should just leave him alone. Even though Naruto had taken care of him last night…

"What are you watching?"

"Nothing. Suigetsu was watching something and I just left it."

"You mind if I play a game then? I kinda wanna do somethin' to keep my mind busy."

"I don't care."

Naruto reacted strangely to him saying that, staring at him with a helpless expression that annoyed him.

"_What_?"

Naruto shook his head. "Nothing." He got up and Sasuke closed his eyes again and listened to him shuffle around. "Do you wanna play too? It's Sonic 2."

Sasuke looked at him, ready to refuse, but instead said, "Sure."

They both froze.

"Really?!"

There was something about how Naruto looked – happy, giddy, and pleased – that did something foreign to his heart.

"You don't have to look so happy about it," Sasuke mumbled as he moved to a sitting position, leaning back on the arm of the couch.

"But I _am_ happy about it! You've never agreed to play with me," Naruto said with a big smile as he held out the second controller. Sasuke ignored that and took the first one. "Hey!"

"If I'm playing with you, I'm Sonic. You can be Tails."

"What?! If anyone's the sidekick it's _you_!" Naruto made to take the remote back, but Sasuke was faster. "Hmph. Fine. Whatever. I like foxes anyway."

"Do you?" Sasuke asked, sounding uninterested.

"Yep. Favorite animal."

"Good for you."

"You know, I'd bet you'd make a better Shadow than Sonic."

"I don't even know who that is."

"Well maybe if you'd watch Sonic Boom with me you would."

"What are you, a child?"

"Psssh, say what you want, but I've always liked Sonic. And I'm a grown man, I'll watch what I want!" Naruto grinned at him.

Fucking heart.

Why had he agreed to this? He wanted to regret it, to back out, but he didn't. It was stupid to get close to anyone, but little by little, Sasuke found himself feeling more helpless.

Against this person who had stayed when he got an attitude and tried to push him away.

Against this person who had taken care of him when he was sick and continued to try and push him away.

The least he could do was play a game with him.

That was what he told himself. It was simply paying him back.

But really…

"Sasuke?"

"What?"

"Uh, just checking to make sure you're still here. You looked kinda zoned out. Plus the game started and I am leaving you in my _dust_."

Sasuke looked back to the screen to see Tails moving through the grasslands, while Sonic stayed put, tapping his foot.

"I'm definitely winning this!"

Sasuke snorted. "We'll see."

**~*N*~**

"Hm, a tie?"

"Seems that way."

"Next time I'll beat you!"

"Next time…"

"Hm?" Naruto looked over at Sasuke, who was starting down at the controller in his lap with a frown. He often looked that way, lost in thought. Naruto wondered what he thought about. Sasuke had his moments even during the game. Where he'd say something, then paused as if he hadn't meant to or thought he shouldn't have.

Shouldn't have what, though?

Speak?

But Naruto had had fun with him. He hoped Sasuke would play with him again and that this wasn't a one time thing.

After he crawled over to turn off his PS2, he got up and walked over to Sasuke. He didn't seem to acknowledge his presence, and something about that bothered him. He placed a hand to Sasuke's forehead.

"Hey, feeling alright?"

Sasuke brushed his hand away. "I told you I'm fine."

"But you look," Naruto paused. He didn't know how Sasuke looked. Sad? Pensive? Worried? But it wasn't _fine_. "You sure you don't want anything? I'll get it for you."

"What if I want something out of the house?"

"I'll get it," Naruto said seriously.

Sasuke looked at him, brows furrowed. "Seriously?"

"Sure. I'll brave the night for you."

"_Why_?"

"Because I wanna look out for you."

Sasuke shifted, looking uncomfortable at that, but it was the truth, especially since Sasuke didn't seem to have anyone else who seemed to care about him. The only person Naruto had seen that was from Sasuke's old life was his old roommate, and that guy just seemed like an asshole.

Naruto decided to go on, "I want to be your friend."

Sasuke stayed quiet, looking at the controller in his lap which he loosely gripped. His shoulders sagged and hunched over, he looked…sad, suddenly.

Finally, he mumbled, "I'm tired…"

He stood up and gave Naruto a lingering look as he held out the controller for him to take, then walks silently to his room.

His heart hurt.

Maybe Sasuke really didn't want to be friends. Maybe he thought Naruto was annoying or stupid or…

He sighed and sat back on the floor, rubbing his chest.

It wasn't as if Naruto's offer of friendship wasn't ever rejected before, but it wasn't something he got used to. This one, though, hurt more than any other rejection before it. He really wanted to be friends with Sasuke. He wanted Sasuke to have someone he could depend on. He always seemed so alone, and Naruto knew how that felt and didn't want _anyone_ to feel that way. But maybe Sasuke liked being alone? But who the hell liked being alone?

He wanted to go to Sasuke's room and press it, to ask why he reacted that way, so silently.

He wanted to ask him…why he looked so sad all the time…why he was alone…why he had looked confused when Naruto said those things…

Naruto's hand moved from his chest to his mouth, making a fist, his knuckle pressed against his lips as he looked at Sasuke's door.

Maybe he just needed time to think?

Or…was really just tired and Naruto was over thinking things. Sakura always told him he shouldn't do that…

Sakura.

He hadn't thought of her since he got home and saw Sasuke. It felt good to focus all of his attention on him. It was so…easy.

His phone vibrated in his pocket and jumped a bit, digging in his pocket for his phone to see that he got a text from Kiba that read: s_orry for being a bitch today. im trying_

Trying? Right. Naruto wasn't the only one with issues of his own. He remembered Shino saying he was trying to quit smoking and wondered why. Kiba had smoked since high school. He also heard some bad news?

Hm.

_don't get ur panties in such a twist an enjoy some ac._

Standing up and putting his phone back in his pocket, he gave one last look to Sasuke's door and decided to leave him alone for now. He probably wanted time to rest up and maybe think about the offer. Naruto never thought an offer of friendship really required that much thought. Naruto just accepted any friendship thrown at him, since it happened so rarely.

But maybe Sasuke was different?

Maybe, maybe, maybe.

He hoped that the day would come where he wouldn't have to maybe his way through Sasuke's behavior. He hoped that one day he'd just…understand him more.

Maybe.

* * *

Thank you for the reviews: ** Karelia Jones, berry5tz, Kasumi Yukimura, xoxLennexox, Akira Nishikawa, Headphone girl A15, the Moon our Witness, ChasesTheMoon, Nessie002**

**Karelia Jones: **Thank you! I try to keep characters true to their core personality and I'm glad I was able to do that with Hinata.

**berry5tz:** Well I'm glad you have some good memories and that you survived! Lol I also wouldn't mind seeing Hinata happy with someone who's not Naruto. I have a character I like to see her with. I think Sasuke is making big steps. Naruto staying with him even while he's being difficult and trying to push him away leaves a lasting impression of him and affects him.

**Akira Nishikawa:** I know how you feel. I want to write Naruto and Sasuke interacting all the time. Sometimes the other parts are things I have to push through and be patient about as well.

**The Moon our Witness:** To be honest, I'm not a fan of Hinata in canon, so I'm glad I could make her likable in this! I try not to let my personal feelings about a character change how I write them. I want to be respectable of characters I'm not a fan of as well. Aaah I think you're the first person who mentioned the bi-hint I put in there! Maaaaybe~ And thank you! Unfortunately I spent Halloween sick (as well as the con I went to lol) so I didn't enjoy it as much I wished. Ah well. C'est la vie. Sadly I didn't update soon either. Lol. Sorry!

**Nessie002:** Aww no worries! I'm happy you came back to leave me a nice little review. I enjoyed reading it and getting it in my inbox. Thank you!


	9. Talk to Me

**To Love and be Loved**

Chapter 9: Talk to Me

Pairings: Eventual NarutoxSasuke, past NarutoxSakura, minor/temporary NarutoxHinata

Rating: Right now it's like PG13 or T, but it'll build up to M(A)

Warning: None for this chapter I think?

Author's Note: Sasuke and Naruto are finally getting somewhere! Woo!

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.

**~*N*~**

Soon after Naruto woke up he got a text from Shikamaru, saying that he had heard from Ino he was going on a date and reminding him to wear something nice. Naruto snorted. Ino and her gossip. But then he wondered how she knew. If Hinata told her or…if Sakura did. His encounter with Sakura was no longer fresh in his mind, but it came up every now and then.

Mostly, though, he thought about Sasuke and how he'd been acting since they played that game together.

It had been fun and he told Sasuke that the next morning, but it was almost as if he didn't want to hear it. At first he was more distant than usual, but then it returned to normal, with only quick little conversations here and there. Sasuke probably figured that Naruto got the hint about not wanting to be friends. Naruto offered for them to play games together as usual, but Sasuke hadn't taken him up on his offer since.

It hurt his heart.

He couldn't understand why Sasuke wouldn't want to be his friend. Sasuke didn't speak to him and often ignored Naruto if he tried to start up a conversation, but he still hung out on the couch with him in the room and fell asleep around him. Lately when he did, Naruto found his eyes straying over to him, just wondering.

Who was Sasuke?

Where was his family?

Did he…have a family?

Was he an orphan like him?

These same questions that wouldn't give him peace. He just couldn't shake the feeling that Sasuke really was alone.

Then he thought about what Suigetsu had said, about Sasuke's preferences. Naruto didn't think of that often, but he _did_ think of it. He wanted to ask Sasuke about it, or even lightly bring up that Suigetsu had told him, that he knew, but he could never get the words out. Talking about sexuality made Naruto a bit uncomfortable. Not that he cared that Sasuke was into men, but Naruto himself…there were times when he looked at men in a way that made him confused. It was something that he was always able to push aside, because overall he enjoyed looking at women so much more and sought relationships with only them. Even if he did look at men sometimes, he had never desired to act on anything.

Taking a deep breath, he cleared those thoughts from his mind, as usual, and went out of his room to see Sasuke sitting on the couch, sipping tea and watching…

"Is that Sonic Boom?!" Naruto couldn't have hid the excitement from his voice if he tried.

Sasuke just shrugged and continued sipping his tea.

Naruto sat down next to him on the couch, his previous melancholy mood gone. Sasuke had flipped him like a switch, and just by having one of his favorite cartoons on.

He didn't have a mind to question it. Simple as he was, he just enjoyed the change in mood.

"I thought you didn't like lil' kiddy shows?" he grinned, feeling almost giddy.

Sasuke brought his cup down to his lap and stared at him with an annoyingly unreadable expression.

"I've been…thinking a lot since that night…since the day in the store."

"Huh? The store?"

"Yes."

Naruto frowned, confused, which was common when dealing with his roommate. He moved on the couch so that he was facing Sasuke, his legs crossed in front of him, mimicking Sasuke's position. He could hear commercials starting from the TV as Sonic Boom turned into commercial, advertising some new toy.

"Okay…I'm not really sure what you're trying to say?"

At first Sasuke didn't continue, seeming to struggle with his answer. Naruto wasn't sure if he was ever going to answer, when he finally said, "I've never had a friend before."

"Not once?"

"No." Sasuke lowered his eyes to his tea. "I honestly don't deserve any."

_That_ spiked Naruto's curiosity.

"Why?"

"I'm not a good person."

"That can't be right!"

"How would you know? You don't. You don't know me, or my life," Sasuke stated.

"It's just – you've never struck me as a bad guy. I mean, if you did, I wouldn't have offered to be your friend. Now, your old roommate on the other hand…" Naruto grumbled.

"He's just an idiot."

"He's an asshole!"

Sasuke nodded. "He is."

Naruto felt satisfied at that. He wanted to bring up what Suigetsu said again, but he kept it down.

"So, what are you saying, Sasuke? Are you sayin' you don't want to be my friend for, like, my sake? Or…are you sayin' you _do_ want to be my friend? Cause I mean…the offer's still there…"

"Even after I ignored you?"

"I mean, yeah, that sucked and was an asshole thing for you to do. I really put myself out there for you and you just…whatever. I liked hanging out with you that day and…I want to get to know you. I don't know why, exactly, other than…you remind me of myself in some ways and…I don't know. I just want to! And my gut tells me you're not a bad person, and I trust my gut." _Even more now than before._

"I remind you of yourself?"

"Of how I used to be." Naruto paused, thinking about his current situation. He had friends now, but he didn't have that kind of bond that Shikamaru and Chouji had, or even Sakura and Ino, when he thought about it. "I just…I know what it feels like to not have friends."

Sasuke sneered, "So it's an offer of pity?"

"What? No! I want to be your friend because I just want to, okay?! Anyway, what are you saying? Do you want to or not?"

"I'm saying I don't know if I can, even if I wanted to."

Naruto slumped against the armrest behind him.

"I don't know what that means."

"I don't expect you to."

"Will you at least stop ignoring me?"

"I can't make any promises."

"That's annoying and confusing."

"I don't want you to expect too much from me. I'm being serious about that."

"Alright. Well, I'll take what I can get, I guess?"

"Why?"

"What do you mean _why_? I already told you…"

"I just…don't understand _why_ you want to be my friend so much. Why aren't you telling me to fuck off and leave?"

"Not that kinda guy."

Sasuke didn't respond to that, but he was looking at him again with that unreadable expression.

"God, I can't wait until I can at least _guess_ at what you're thinkin'."

"Your show's back on."

Naruto looked at the TV and said, "Maybe Shadow will be in this episode."

"And I'm Shadow?"

Naruto nodded. "You know, when I was in middle school I used to read Sonic comics."

"That doesn't surprise me."

"That makes one of us. Almost everything you do…and everything I hear of you doing surprises me…"

"What have you heard of me doing?"

There it was. The chance to bring up what Suigetsu said to him.

"It's nothin'. I used to draw Sonic too." He smirked. "I haven't drawn in a long time, but maybe I'll draw Shadow with your face."

"Please don't."

"You said please. So you're polite when you wanna be?"

Sasuke shook his head. "Watch your show."

Naruto turned on the couch so that his feet were touching the floor again, but he just couldn't focus on it. He felt Sasuke's eyes on him and…he wanted to get to know Sasuke. He supposed he should let Sasuke get to know him a little too? Maybe that would help Sasuke feel more comfortable in...letting Naruto know things about himself.

"I was actually into a lot of comics in middle school. I didn't read any in elementary, but in middle school I started… Not just Sonic, but like…superhero stuff too. I loved that shit."

"I'm sure all of those skimpy outfits on the women helped keep your interest." It was a teasing remark, but the way Sasuke said it, almost offhandedly, sounded dry.

"You must love dry humor, huh?"

No answer.

"I mean, I won't lie, I liked that. I thought the female superheroes were pretty badass, but…I always had a thing for Catwoman." Naruto looked at him and, just as he thought, Sasuke wasn't paying attention to the TV at all. "I also liked Raven, from Teen Titans. That was how I got into comics. I used to watch the show, the old one, though I like Go! too, even though most people seem to hate it."

"I've never seen it."

"What? Seriously? Ah man, we should watch it together sometime! Raven was pretty awesome, but I liked Beast Boy the best. I thought, if I was a superhero I'd probably be him. I liked his personality, but I liked his superpower too. He could turn into animals, which I thought was pretty cool."

"Not Sonic?"

"Thought you wanted me to be Tails?"

Sasuke _almost_ smiled at that, which made Naruto feel like he completed some mission he didn't know he was on. His heart thumped at it.

"Would you turn into a fox then? If you were Beast Boy?"

"Of course! They're my favorite animal. Well, and frogs and toads."

"That's…not one I've heard before."

"I used to love catchin' them as a kid. I had a pet frog once, in high school."

"Your parents didn't trust you with a cat or dog?"

Naruto chuckled nervously, scratching the back of his head. "Um, I actually lived with my godfather around that time. His name is Jiraiya. He's the one that dropped off my stuff." Sasuke looked a bit uncomfortable, and since things were going so well he decided to change the subject. "So, anyway, do you want to keep watching TV or…maybe we could play a game?"

"…A game sounds fine."

**~*S*~**

After they beat a pink haired character in a Teen Titans game Naruto insisted they play, Naruto paused the game and looked at his phone.

"Ah, sorry, I should probably start getting ready. Got a date today."

Sasuke bit his lip. "Do you even know how to dress for that?"

Naruto laughed. "Of course! I've been on dates before, yanno!"

Sasuke shrugs, and after a moment of hesitation, Naruto got up and rushed to the bathroom to shower.

Sasuke turned off the game and wrapped the controllers up and placed them on top of the PS2. Sitting back down on the couch, Sasuke thought of how easy that had been, more so than he expected. When Naruto asked him to be his friend, he had initially decided to put distance between them. But he was surprised to find that the distance was harder than before. Naruto never stopped trying to talk to him, even if just to say good morning or good night, and Sasuke found that he wanted to say it back, had mumbled it a few times, unaware if Naruto heard him.

Last night, he couldn't sleep because it was heavy on his mind and just kept getting heavier. He couldn't stop himself from being torn about what to do.

Then, before he went to sleep, he decided to just ignore it all. To push it away and not deal with it. If it kept bothering him, then that was just life.

But this morning, he decided to talk to Naruto when he turned on the TV and Sonic Boom was on.

All on a whim.

And it was just so easy. To talk to him, to be around him. Sasuke had never felt so at ease with anyone, it was unnerving and when he caught himself relaxing and giving in, so then he became tense and uncomfortable.

When he caught himself being curious or caring about what Naruto said, he didn't know how to act or think.

And now…now he was disappointed that Naruto was leaving for a date.

What kind of girls did he date?

It wasn't any of his business, but he was annoyingly curious. He hated that he wanted to learn more about him.

Why did he think about it?

Sasuke had never really wanted to learn about another person before. Not since before…

Naruto stayed.

He always stayed.

When Naruto showed he cared, it made him feel good and unworthy.

It felt nice.

Too nice for him.

Sasuke selfishly wanted it, that he couldn't deny.

Being with Naruto…it was also starting to feel familiar and it was getting easy so fast. His heart beat with the warmth and fear of it.

Then his mind went to his family.

To that night, long ago, when he had lost everything.

To that day when he was crushed with a truth that changed everything.

To the days when people, therapists, teachers, and Kakashi, all told him it was okay to be happy.

To that day he realized he had no right to be.

What was he doing?

He had decided not to accept Naruto's offer of friendship, then he just came out and on a whim decided he would try. He just couldn't help himself.

Even now, he hoped Naruto would have time after he showered to spend just a little more time with him. He wanted to listen to him geek out over comic characters and Sonic. Naruto always talked to him like he never wanted to stop. He struck Sasuke as a social butterfly though, so he was probably like that with everyone.

Yes. He would probably even be like that with his date.

In the end, the only life that would be affected by him distancing himself from Naruto…was Sasuke. Maybe that was why it was so easy for Naruto to forgive, because it made no difference to him either way.

Sasuke wasn't the type of person anyone would miss, after all.

**~*N*~**

When Naruto got in the shower, he hurriedly scrubbed himself down, hoping that if he was quick enough he'd have more time with Sasuke.

Hinata and him were having a bit of an early date, since both of them had to work the next morning.

He had spent hours playing games with Sasuke. First they played Sonic, then Sasuke took a break to eat while Naruto shoved a PB&amp;J sandwich in his mouth as he played by himself, then to switch it up, he put in his Teen Titans game and they played that. He laughed when Sasuke ended up sticking with Raven after getting bored of Robin. Naruto, of course, had played as Beast Boy. It was almost three now, and he had to catch the bus at around three thirty. He and Hinata would have an early dinner around four and see the movie at five thirty.

It would be around five hours before he saw Sasuke again.

Finishing his shower, Naruto toweled himself dry and then wrapped it around his waist. When he left the bathroom he saw Sasuke on the couch, seeming deep in thought. He didn't turn to see Naruto, so he decided to walk past him so he could hurry up and get dressed, while wondering what Sasuke was thinking about. He hadn't looked happy; he hadn't looked any particular way. He wore no expression so often that Naruto wondered just how much he kept inside.

Since it was in the seventies and their date was very casual, Naruto wore a nice pair (his only nice pair, really) of jeans and a dark blue button up shirt. He didn't have a lot of nice clothes, having not needed a reason to dress up in years and spending his hard earned money on other things, but he hoped this would do. It was going to be in the seventies today, and he just hoped he didn't get too warm. Hinata's house and the theater had AC at least.

When he left his room he had almost ten minutes before he had to leave, but Sasuke was getting up from the couch.

"Did you leave any hot water?"

Naruto frowned. "Yeah. I gotta leave in like five minutes though, so I thought maybe we could talk for a bit?"

"Why? Five minutes is nothing. What would we talk about?"

"Whatever we want."

"I'd rather not."

Sasuke disappeared into the bathroom, and Naruto was left feeling much too disappointed and a bit hurt.

Why had Sasuke brushed him off like that?

He remembered what they talked about earlier, and wondered why Sasuke pushed people away so much. He wanted to ask, but…that was a conversation for another time, not when he only had four minutes. Besides, he doubted Sasuke would honestly tell him anyway.

Still…maybe he'd try later.

With a bit of a heavy heart, Naruto decided to leave right away.

**~*N*~**

Hinata greeted him at the door with a friendly smile, moving aside to let him in.

"I'm almost done with dinner."

"I wish you'd let me help. I feel bad makin' you do all the work."

"You can make it up to me by taking me out to the movie."

"Of course! And get butter popcorn!"

Hinata giggled. "Even though we're about to eat?"

Naruto shrugged with a smile. "I like buttered popcorn."

"You can sit at the table if you'd like."

"Nah, I can get my own plate at least! Or help you finish whatever you gotta do."

"No, no, I want it to be a surprise," Hinata said quickly, laughing nervously as she led him to the table. "I promise it won't be long, so just relax."

Not wanting to argue, Naruto did as told and waited for her to come back. He kept his mind pretty blank, not thinking of much, and it really wasn't long before Hinata came back to him. When she did, Naruto didn't really know how to react, but decided that returning her wide smile was the right choice.

"I made us spaghetti and garlic bread," she said.

Naruto…was not a fan of spaghetti.

"That's great! It looks good."

Like hell he was going to be ungrateful for someone doing something for him. He was determined to eat every single bite.

Naruto mentally sighed in relief when he saw her set down parmesan, covering his spaghetti in it. His garlic bread was gone first, too soon, and he was forced to focus on his spaghetti, doing his best to keep his expression pleasant as he tried to focus on the taste of the powdery cheese.

"Do you like it?" Hinata asked, and Naruto realized that they hadn't really talked since they started eating. He had been so busy focusing on eating, that he hadn't noticed much.

"Oh, yeah! It's really good. You're a good cook. Thanks so much for making it. Really good."

"I'm sorry, I should have asked you what you liked…" Hinata looked disappointed in herself, which Naruto hated. He also hated that he wasn't that good at pretending.

"I'm just…not the biggest fan of tomato...y…sauce…or tomatoes in general…save for ketchup," he chuckled, trying to make light of it.

"I make it often for Kiba and Shino, and they eat so much of it I barely have any," Hinata laughed, seeming embarrassed. "So I thought… I'm sorry. Next time I'll make something you like."

Naruto felt like shit, but he didn't know what to say to make it better.

"You don't have to finish it if you don't want to. I'm sure Kiba and Shino will take the left over's."

"I'm sorry," was all Naruto could think of to say.

"It's okay, Naruto. I suppose this means you can get some popcorn."

"Heh, yeah, I'm totally one of those people who shovel handfuls in my mouth during the previews."

Naruto picked at a little more of his food, trying not to be rude while also just not wanting to eat what was in front of him.

"It's really okay, Naruto."

"At least you'll have a lot of leftovers."

"True…I can have Kiba and Shino over, and they'll finish it all up."

"How are they?"

Hinata twirled the last bits of her spaghetti with her fork with a bit of a frown.

"I'm not sure…Kiba won't tell me what's wrong…I think he's talking to Shino though…maybe…"

"Oh, well, that's…good? That he has Shino to talk to?"

"Mm."

"So, we're going to see a scary ghost movie!" Naruto tried his best to sound as excited as possible, even though it felt forced and therefore weird.

"Ah, yes. I'm excited for the movie." Hinata smiled at him, and that also felt forced.

The rest of the dinner was spent in awkward silence. Naruto knew he should respond and power through the awkward, but he just couldn't. Instead he focused on getting as much spaghetti down his throat as possible until Hinata finished. He didn't finish his, but she was kind about it and didn't make him feel bad for it, even though he did.

As he watched her put the food away, his mind wandered to Sasuke, briefly wondering if he ate and if he had, what he did. He didn't often see Sasuke eat, besides breakfast, which was always just eggs and toast. Sometimes just toast. He wondered what kind of food he liked. If he liked spaghetti or if he liked any kind of pasta at all. Sasuke would sometimes eat the bags of ramen like Naruto (too) often did, but he didn't look like he enjoyed it…he didn't look like he didn't either though…

It was something for him to think about later, for no, Hinata was turning to him and they were leaving for the movie.

For a very quiet car ride, until Hinata turned on some Enya music, which almost put Naruto to sleep.

**~*N*~**

At least the movie they were seeing was a scary one, so it was a good cuddle movie. Naruto often jumped a lot at scary movies and got wrapped up into them, something Sakura used to tease him about. He'd gotten better at it though, but he had heard good things about this movie from his coworkers who'd gone to see it.

Naruto got himself a large butter popcorn and Dr Pepper. Hinata got a bottle of water. Naruto, for the life of him, couldn't think of anything to talk about, and either Hinata couldn't either or enjoyed the silence. It wasn't until they found their seats that Naruto decided to do his best to make conversation until the movie started.

"This is the sequel, have you seen the first one?"

"I haven't. Is there anything I should know?"

"Mm. Not really. I mean it's about a couple who go…ghost hunting? They help people who are living in haunted houses."

"I see. Was the first one scary?"

Naruto chuckled after swallowing some of his popcorn. "Oh yeah, there were parts when I leaned all over…uh, the person I was with."

Hinata was quiet for a minute, and he wondered if she knew who he had referred to.

The room darkened and the previews for other movies started. Naruto saw a few he was interested in, paying attention because he actually liked the previews. When the movie finally started, he felt Hinata wrap her arm around his and lean into his arm.

He looked over at her in surprise, thinking the move rather bold for her.

"In case I get scared," she whispered.

Naruto smiled. "I might need your arm too if it is."

Hinata giggled, but Naruto hadn't been lying. Watching the movie was…rather quiet, too quiet. Naruto was a talker during movies, but Hinata never hushed him, like Sakura did, and Naruto was too into the movie to even wonder if he was annoying her.

By the end of the movie, Naruto was in a much better mood, the kind of mood he got when he just saw a really satisfying movie. It was scary, creative, and interesting (to him). He really liked when the long legged monster showed up the best, a monster based off a nursery rhyme. His head was up in the clouds with the desire to draw it while he waited for Hinata to come out from the bathroom.

When she came out, his first words to her were, "So did you like it?"

Hinata smiled and nodded. "It was good."

But she sounded disinterested that Naruto's mood went a bit down, thinking she didn't enjoy it as he had.

"It's okay if you didn't. I'm sorry there weren't any good romance movies playing."

"Don't worry about it. I don't mind movies like that."

Naruto blurted, "You know you can be real with me, right?"

They stopped walking, standing near Hinata's car. He hadn't meant to sound so…blunt…but it was just…so, _so_ important to him. The more he thought of his past relationship, the more he realized he and Sakura hadn't been…well…_real_ with each other. Thinking back, he had no idea how Sakura felt about him or their relationship. He didn't know when she started thinking of breaking up, if she had ever loved him to begin with. He was always nothing but unsure.

_Please don't make me go back to that_, Naruto thought, but he wasn't sure if he was thinking about Hinata or someone else or if it was just…a general wish at anyone he connected with from this point on.

"I just…don't want to disappoint you."

"You won't… All I want is for you to be honest and yourself."

"I've…had a crush on you for so long, since I first saw you." She blushed. "I just…wanted to try this. To see if it could work. I wanted it to work so much. I spent so long just deciding on what to eat and what to wear and…" she trailed off, as if she caught herself saying too much.

It was then that Naruto realized he hadn't even taken note to how she looked. She wore a simple blue dress and heels, with a necklace lined with small pearls and a seashell dangling from it and a blue shell bracelet. He remembered Hinata saying that she liked going on the beach and making things from seashells and that she had probably made those herself. The ones she wore weren't real seashells, but he was sure she made plenty of things with those too.

"You look really beautiful," he smiled. "I like your necklace and bracelet. Did you make them?"

Hinata flushed. "Y-yes! I made my earrings too." She brushed her hair to the side to show him blue seashell earrings.

Naruto laughed lightly. "Cute. You're really creative."

Hinata seemed to beam at him. "You are too."

"Huh? Me? I haven't done anything creative since, like, high school probably…or…I used to doodle every now and then, but I haven't done even that in awhile."

"You used to draw all the time in school."

Naruto had a vague memory of when Hinata and he first spoke. It was in their high school art class. They were sitting next to each other and Hinata had complimented his drawing.

"But no one really thought much of what I drew," Naruto said, almost sadly.

"I did."

He looked at her with wide eyes.

"_Really_?"

"Mm. I always thought you'd get really good, if you kept pushing on. I liked that about you. Even if you messed up on your drawing, you'd keep at it and never give up. It really inspired me… I was so close to giving up knitting and crocheting, but you gave me the courage to keep trying too. That's why…I like you so much…that you did that for me…"

Naruto…was speechless. He stared at Hinata with his lips parted and eyes wide.

"I…never knew that."

"I never had the courage to tell you."

"I did that for you?"

Hinata blushed and nodded.

It was unreal.

Naruto never thought he could ever have any kind of real impact on anyone. It was a strange revelation after that…he would never hurt Hinata. He would never waste her time.

He reached up and cupped her cheek, and she leaned into it and placed her hand over his. Slowly, he moved closer, putting his other hand on her waist. Hinata's hands moved to rest on his chest, bunching up the fabric of his shirt as she clung to him. He watched her close her eyes and tilt her head up, and their mouths met.

The kiss was fine, but that was it. There was no heat, no passion, just a simple open mouthed kiss that was forcefully deepened, as if searching for something, perhaps that heat and passion that was lacking.

"This isn't going to work," Hinata said softly, with such honesty that Naruto answered just as honestly and softly.

"No."

She pulled away from him, stepping back and lowering her gaze.

"Are you okay?" he asked.

"I am. I've…I've _always_ wanted this, but now that I do..."

"It just doesn't fit." Naruto knew all too well how that felt. It had been the same with Sakura. He had wanted it so badly, but when he got it he found that…it really wasn't what he wanted at all.

But Hinata was stronger than how he used to be. She wasn't going to ignore the red flags or convince herself to wait it out for it to get better.

And he wasn't that person anymore either.

Hinata raised her gaze to meet his and smiled. "Thank you for the date."

Returning her smile, he said, "Even though it didn't work out?"

"I'm…I'm still happy. I feel like…I know for sure now. I can stop wondering. So…it was worth it."

_I can move on now_, went unsaid, but Naruto knew the feeling. It was as if this date was closure for her, and he was happy to give her that. In a way, his own past relationship was like that as well. He knew for a fact that he and Sakura just weren't meant for each other. They never fit. It had gone on too long and maybe that was the real problem.

It would have been better if, at the end of their own first awkward date, he had said, "This won't work."

But there was nothing he could do about it now.

Naruto grabbed one of Hinata's hands as she stepped back, away from him, and squeezed it.

"We can still be friends, right?"

"Of course." Hinata leaned back up to him and gave him a friendly kiss on the cheek.

"Shall I take you home?"

Naruto realized then, that he had never given Hinata his address. He did so now, knowing she wasn't the type to hand it out to others. The more time went on, the more silly it seemed to him to hide his address from his friends. Perhaps it was time for him to let them in again, but he would think on that later. For now…he was happy to just go home.

**~*S*~**

Sasuke's mind had been busy, far too busy, all god damn day.

He sat alone in his dark room with his back to the wall, staring at the door for no reason. His mind was splitting apart with his thoughts, which had refused to stay silent even when he had tried to distract himself with the TV, which was why he had turned it off and went to his quiet dark room.

He thought of Naruto and how tempting his offer of friendship truly was. It hurt his heart, because he knew he should not allow himself to have it, but he just couldn't seem to stop himself. It was starting to become too comfortable too quickly. Sasuke had never had that with anyone before…

_I don't deserve this. _

_I like it._

_I can't have it._

_I want it._

His heart hurt.

He had never allowed himself to get close to anyone. Never. Not after his family was…taken from him…and then he did that _awful_ thing.

Why was this so hard? It wasn't as if others hadn't tried to get Sasuke to open up to them before, but Sasuke was always able to decline and it didn't even require much effort. It had become…easy to reject people. Natural even. It didn't feel that way with Naruto. It was hard and a struggle, a battle within himself, and in the end he gave in, more than once now.

He never thought he would meet someone like Naruto. He hadn't been prepared for him.

It seemed as if Sasuke spent his whole life drowning, and now he had times where he felt like his head was actually above water.

Naruto made it easier to just _breathe_.

At the sound of a door opening and closing, Sasuke's heart thumped in his chest.

He wanted to go out of his room and…just listen to Naruto talk about something. Comics he'd never read, shows he'd never seen, games he'd never played…

He'd be content to just watch Naruto play a game...

He bit the corners of his mouth, surprised at how much it hurt to think and feel. His head was under water again, and he knew how to bring his head above the water.

So, because he was so, so weak, decided to just get up and go out.

He walked to his door and opened it.

**~*N*~**

Naruto got home and was disappointed to see that Sasuke wasn't on the couch. He was either out or in his room, and since Sasuke rarely ever went out, he figured it was the latter. He went to Sasuke's door and stood by it, contemplating if he should knock and…maybe invite him to play a game or watch TV or just…talk…which was what he really wanted to do with Sasuke.

Just talk.

He lifted his hand to knock, but the door opened before he could and then Sasuke was standing there in front of him.

Naruto pushed aside this strange urge to pull him into a hug, unsure where it came from.

"Hey…" he said, almost shyly, his heart pounding with nerves.

After a second of hesitation, Sasuke answered, "Hey…"

"Wanna hang out a little?"

Sasuke bit the corner of his mouth, something Naruto was starting to notice he did when he was unsure. Unsure of what though? What he wanted or something else?

Sasuke nodded wordlessly, and then passed by him to sit on the couch. He leaned back against the armrest and brought his knees up to his chest. Naruto followed and sat across from him, almost mirroring his posture, except opting to simply cross his legs in front of him and rest his hands near his ankles.

Deciding to jump right into it, Naruto said, "If I asked you about yourself, would you answer me?"

"I don't know. It depends on what you want to ask."

There were so, _so_ many things.

"Do you have a family?"

"…A brother. We're not speaking."

Naruto frowned. "How come?"

"I'd…" Sasuke looked away. "Rather not talk of it."

That only spiked his curiosity, but Naruto wasn't going to pry or force anything out of Sasuke.

"Okay…what about your parents?"

"Dead."

He felt the word like a needle to the heart.

"Mine too…" he whispered. "My parents died not long after I was born, so I don't remember them at all… I've seen pictures though, from Jiraiya. It's always weird to see them though, kinda painful."

He watched Sasuke take that in, but he didn't react to it, so he asked, "Did you have a good foster life?"

"Did _you_?" Sasuke immediately countered, almost snapping at him. Naruto didn't take offense to it. He remembered being angry like that. Instead he just answered honestly.

"Not for awhile. The first guy…fuck, he was an _asshole_. Even his dog was scared of him. She'd get low to the ground with her tail between her legs and her ears back whenever he was in the room, sometimes she'd crawl under the kitchen table. He was…violent."

"The first one? So you were taken out?"

"Yeah, by a teacher. He knew of my situation and got me out of there. His name's Iruka. He was like…a father figure to me, or like the father I never had. I haven't talked to him since I dropped out of college though. Ashamed, I guess. School is…well, he's a _teacher_. It's obviously important to him. But I mean, it's not like he's tried to call me or anything, so maybe he doesn't wanna talk to me."

"I don't think you can decide that for him."

Naruto paused, not expecting Sasuke to have anything to say on it, but for some reason happy he did. Sasuke was right. He couldn't speak for Iruka, but he also couldn't deny that it hurt that he hadn't reached out to him at all.

"I…you're right. I can't. I just…Well, anyway, I moved in with Iruka when I was about twelve, then I met Jiraiya. He knew my parents and was my godfather. When they died…he was away overseas and no one could reach him. I wanted to learn more about him and my parents so I decided to move in with him when I was about sixteen. And that's…that. My childhood wasn't too great, but it did get better, so I think in that sense, I'm luckier than others." Naruto paused, thinking about other foster kids and adopted kids he knew that never knew what it felt like to have caring and supportive guardians, who never knew what a loving and warm home felt like.

"I know I'm lucky. I know not everyone has adults who are. Too well."

"I'd rather," Sasuke said so quickly it sounded like he was blurting, he seemed to catch himself though, and continued softer, "talk about something else…"

"Okay. Where do you work?"

"Nowhere worth talking about."

Naruto clicked his tongue, wanting to get Sasuke to talk but not knowing where to direct the conversation to make it happen.

"What do you like to do?"

Sasuke shrugged, watching his hand playing with the bottom of his jeans. "I haven't done anything I like in years."

Naruto frowned, wanting to ask him why, but to his surprise, Sasuke continued.

"I…enjoy cooking…with…well, it was interesting for me."

"Oh yeah?" Naruto tried to think of Sasuke cooking, but couldn't think of much beyond eggs and grilled cheese. "I…wouldn't have figured. I don't often see you cook…is it just…I mean…is it relaxing?"

"Not anymore. I haven't cooked anything I enjoyed in a long time." Sasuke paused to take a deep breath. "I'm from Japan. I used to cook Japanese food a lot."

Naruto straightened, almost bouncing in his seat.

"Japan? That's cool! I never would have guessed, I mean…you don't have an accent."

"I lost it years ago. I've been here for a very, very long time. Much longer than I was in Japan."

"How come you moved here?"

Sasuke shifted, and Naruto wondered if the question made him uncomfortable.

"Family issues."

The strained tone Sasuke said it in and his tense posture told Naruto that he didn't want to talk about it.

"Can you still speak Japanese?"

At the change of topic, Sasuke's posture relaxed a bit and Naruto mentally gave himself a pat on the back for reading him correctly.

"I can, but don't ask me too. It's annoying when people do that."

"Damn it, I was just gonna ask you to! Hmph. Fine, fine. I won't ask. But…yanno…if you ever feel like it…"

"You wouldn't understand anything I said anyway."

Naruto's heart leapt when Sasuke gave him a little smirk, happy to have made his new friend relax enough to let go…even if it was just a little. Whenever Sasuke showed him he was even a little relaxed or having a good time it made Naruto feel like he got a gold star.

"Maybe I'll learn Japanese too and then surprise you one day by talking to you in it." Naruto was surprised at how appealing that thought really was.

"You'd probably butcher the language."

"Hey! Have some faith!" Naruto grinned. "I've always wanted to learn a second language. I took German in high school…but I can't remember any of it."

"I took French. I…remember some of it. Not much."

Naruto swore his heart beat extra happily with each new piece of information Sasuke told him.

"I bet you could really woe someone with that," he laughed.

"That's…not quite what I was thinking when I took it."

"Really? Most people I know who took French did it to pick up chicks." He thought of Kiba taking it and trying it out on girls, badly.

"I wasn't particularly thinking anything when I took it. I just needed a language course."

"Too bad you didn't take Japanese. Easy A."

"I couldn't have even if I wanted to. They didn't offer it. But is that how you graduated? Just took easy classes?"

Naruto flushed a bit, embarrassed of what he was about to admit. "Actually, I struggled a lot in high school. I only ever got an A in gym class…and sometimes art I guess."

"You said you used to draw."

"I did. Don't know if I was any good at it." He thought of Hinata and what she had said. "Actually…the person I went out with today…she said something that kinda meant a lot to me. Said she liked my art. I…no one really thought much of it, I guess that includes myself too. I stopped drawing awhile ago. I don't know why though. It just kinda happened, yanno?"

"It's not like you can't pick it back up."

"Mm. True. Maybe I will."

In truth, the more he thought of it the more he missed it.

They continued talking until Naruto started yawning after every other sentence. He had long since lost track of time with Sasuke, having too much fun to see just how much more he could get out of him, how much more he could learn. He had made good progress in his new friendship today and he was kind of proud of that.

"Go to bed," Sasuke said when Naruto yawned again.

"Noooo, I wanna talk more."

"I'm tired too, and it's not as if I'm going anywhere."

"True… We can hang out tomorrow?"

Sasuke paused, and Naruto found that whenever he asked Sasuke for something, he did that.

"…Yes."

"Cool." Naruto smiled at him. "I like talking to you."

Sasuke's eyebrows furrowed. "Why?"

"I don't know. Just…a feeling, I guess. I just want to get to know you. I've been wanting to for awhile now. You confuse me a lot. I'm looking forward to not being confused anymore. I think when I finally figure you out…I don't even know. I'll probably be excited as fuck."

"Or bored."

That hurt his heart to hear.

"Never."

But Sasuke just shook his head. "You're going to end up disappointed."

"I'll risk it."

Sasuke didn't say anything to that. He looked at Naruto as if he confused Sasuke too, which was weird, since he was more open than Sasuke. He thought he was pretty easy to read, but sometimes the way Sasuke looked at him made him think otherwise.

"I'm going to bed now," Sasuke mumbled as he got up from the couch. He gave Naruto one last lingering look and said, "Good night."

"Good night. Sweet dreams and don't let the bed bugs bite," Naruto smiled.

Sasuke snorted and left, Naruto watching him go, surprised at how much he really didn't want him to. He wanted to talk more, or maybe watch a movie together and fall asleep. He liked his company and, in truth, had been rather lonely since his break up. He had friends and had that date with Hinata, but he was reminded once again how he didn't have a _best_ friend or anyone he was very close and connected to.

As he dragged himself off the couch and to his own room and bed, he wondered if he could have that connection with Sasuke. Despite what Sasuke said, Naruto wasn't opposed at all to being closer friends with him.

Maybe even best friends?

* * *

I've decided this takes place in this year, 2016, because reasons. Also I had a really hard time ending this lol. The chapter just wanted to go on and on. It's the longest chapter in the story yet. XD! I hope you enjoyed it!

Thank you for the reviews: **strikedeathkd53019, Sabriilyn, Headphone girl A15, Mikala Roushe, Karelia Jones, berry5tz, Aysiahime, the Moon our Witness, Rikado**

**Strikedeathkd53019: **Well I'm happy you were able to find this :D! I do my best with the updates. ^^;

**Mikala Roushe: **Sasuke's too tired to explode. He'd probably just wither up.

**Karelia Jones: **This made me happy. ;a; I honestly wasn't sure if there'd still be anyone waiting on updates for this. Rest assured that if I gave up on this story, I'd let you guys know so you're not waiting hopelessly. And yes, he's not pining over Sakura but he misses her and it really hasn't been that long since they broke up. I'm glad you're enjoying Sasuke's changes, as I'm enjoying writing him coming out of his shell little by little. It's hard tho cause he feels so guilty about it lol. I'm glad you picked up on the awkwardness of Naruto and Hinata, as that's most definitely on purpose. XD;

**berry5tz: **Yeah, Suigetsu was out of line, but I see him as being like that, starting drama and not having any boundaries on what he says. I think he also likes messing with people. Naruto and Kiba aren't besties in this. Naruto's bestie was Sakura and Kiba's is Shino and Hinata. ^^; I like how everyone picked up on why Kiba was upset. It is so obvious. XD And no, Naruto and Sakura aren't at a point where they can be friends again, not at the moment, no matter how much they might want to. And thank you! I will try and see this story through to the end!

**the Moon our Witness: **Lol you're sharp! Yes, I also like that Naruto got upset at that and that's the appropriate response from him I feel. Naruto is a protective person and I think that's especially so with Sasuke. And I will for sure write more!

**Rikado: **Yes. Picturing Sasuke as a cat also makes me happy. XD


	10. A Simple Day With Friends

**To Love and be Loved**

Chapter 10: A Simple Day With Friends

Pairings: Eventual NarutoxSasuke, past NarutoxSakura

Rating: Right now it's like PG13 or T, but it'll build up to M(A)

Warning: None for this chapter.

Author's Note: Naruto's a (comic) nerd, and we get to learn a bit more about him and meet yet another person in his life in this chapter, so this is a Naruto-centric chapter :D! Woot!

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.

**~*N*~**

Naruto felt super privileged because Sasuke let him take his car to pick up their pizza. Not that Sasuke's car meant much to him, but Naruto had only ever been allowed to drive Jiraiya's truck. Even Sakura never let him drive her car, since she got it from her parents who weren't comfortable with it (Naruto was a good driver, thank you…despite his road rage). When Naruto had asked Sasuke if he could take his car to get pizza, he had been joking, but then Sasuke had shrugged and said he didn't care. Being the nice guy that he was, Naruto had filled it up with gas, hoping it'd help Sasuke not stress about driving. Not that Sasuke ever complained about gas money or anything, but he knew how stressful it could be just based on what he saw from his friends and Sakura.

He was sitting in a red plastic chair by the window at the pizza place, waiting for it to finish so he could go home and watch Teen Titans with Sasuke. He had gotten out his old DVD he had gotten in high school after hearing that Sasuke never watched it. Go! was great, it was goofy and not serious which Naruto enjoyed, but he liked the older one too and he really enjoyed watching the things he liked with someone else. Sakura hadn't been too big on superhero movies. She'd watch them and crushed on some of the heroes (the current Superman being her biggest crush) but she didn't enjoy watching them more than once and usually picked movies he wasn't interested in for movie nights. Not that Naruto minded watching movies Sakura liked, but…it would have been nice if he could have gotten to pick one too since he did enjoy watching things with people.

Well, none of that mattered anymore.

He wasn't sure if Sasuke was even interested in these movies and shows, but he just had a feeling he was or, at the very least, he was willing to try them out.

Honestly, Naruto was just excited at the possibility of having someone to talk to about this kind of stuff. He'd never really had that before. Even his friends weren't too big on it, just preferring to watch the movies when they came out and that was it.

He once again thought of Chouji and Shikamaru, of Sakura and Ino, and even Kiba and Shino and Hinata. He thought about their friendships, how close they were, and how he had always longed for it.

And then he thought of Sasuke and his heart ached with a sort of longing he had never felt directed at an actual person before, not even Sakura really.

"_I want to be your friend."_ That was what he said, and it was true, but there was some feeling in him that told him he wanted more. That he wanted the kind of friendship he saw in his other friends, and that he wanted it with Sasuke. He wanted them to be _best_ friends, he wanted their friendship to really mean something and not just to him, but to Sasuke too. He wanted to be special to him, which might be dangerous, since no one really seemed to be special to Sasuke. He remembered his asshole ex roommate, Suigetsu, and how he had said nothing and no one meant much of anything to Sasuke, but Naruto…

Naruto really wanted to mean something to him.

His heart ached at the thought and he tried to force himself to happier thoughts. He thought about who Sasuke might like in Teen Titans. He himself liked Beast Boy, as he had said, and he thought Sasuke might like…maybe Robin. Maybe even Raven? He had so much in common with her, which was amusing enough to pull him out of his sadder thoughts and into more amusing thoughts, like Sasuke in a blue cloak reading spell books and calling him an idiot.

"Uzumaki!"

Bouncing up from his seat and grabbing the pizza box with a smile and a thanks, he went to drive back home.

**~*N*~**

When Naruto got home his day just got brighter. He had gotten mail and he knew exactly what it was by the large shape of it, and the feel of cardboard inside to make sure it didn't bend.

"You look happy," Sasuke commented, throwing away a green tea bag in the grey and black kitchen trash can.

"I got mail!" Naruto waved it and then handed Sasuke the pizza, who looked mildly annoyed.

"Why can't you just put it on the counter?"

"Cause I'm excited over my mail!" He immediately went for the drawer to get the scissors and tore the packaging apart to reveal…

"A comic? You're excited over a comic?"

"Of course! It's the new Spider-man/Deadpool comic! Aaah they're so great together! The snark and the sass and the jokes – even the bad ones. It's all great. You should read it too! I got the other issues." He handed the comic to Sasuke so he could look at it.

"Deadpool? I'm not surprised in the slightest that you like him. He's an idiot."

"That's what's so great about him! Man I want the movie so bad. I gotta get it! Have you seen it?"

"I haven't. I can't say I go to the movies and it hasn't been on TV yet."

"Ah man, we should go see a movie some time! I wanna see Dory!" Naruto smiled widely at the thought of going to a movie with Sasuke.

"Figures you'd like kids' movies."

"You don't like Disney movies? Or Pixar?"

Sasuke paused. "I can't say I've thought about it."

"We can see something else if you want. Ah, I remember you like action, or at least don't mind it. Maybe we can see Suicide Squad together!"

"Please tell me you're not a Joker fan."

"Eh, not really. But Harley Quinn's hot so even if it is bad, at least there's that." After he said that, he remembered what Suigetsu said about Sasuke's preferences, and wondered if he should take it back or apologize or…offer up Will Smith as eye candy for him.

"We'll see," Sasuke said offhandedly, and Naruto hadn't realized he'd been holding his breath. For some reason, he thought Sasuke might come out to him just then. It wasn't that he was always thinking about it, but sometimes Naruto did get the sense that he was…waiting for him to say it. He didn't know why, since it wasn't really any of his business. Maybe he just wanted Sasuke to open up to him about _something_.

While he thought about it, Sasuke got them both a plate of two slices of (pepperoni and sausage) pizza. He took his mug of tea and Naruto followed him after grabbing a can of Dr Pepper.

"You're really gonna drink tea with that?"

"I am."

"Gross," Naruto joked with a grin, placing his stuff on the floor as he went to grab the DVD case.

Excited, he put the disc in his PS2 and sat on the couch next to Sasuke. He felt like a kid again, having a long sleepover with a moody friend. He loved it. He hadn't had many sleepovers as a kid, but he remembered how everyone had that one friend that was special for them. He remembered how Shikamaru and Chouji would always sit close to each other and how Kiba and Shino had inside jokes they wouldn't share. Naruto was included, sure, but he could only watch what they had and envy them.

He had always wanted to be someone's number one friend, and while he sort of found that with Sakura, it wasn't as mutual as he wished. Sakura was his best friend, but her best friend, more than Naruto, was Ino.

He wondered what it would have been like if he had known Sasuke back then.

Sasuke was so cold and distant at times, but Naruto just couldn't help but want to get closer. There was something about him that pulled him in, in a way he hadn't really experienced before. It wasn't in his nature to question or dwell on the why, though, so instead he just let himself feel it and acted on it.

Sasuke, it seemed, was mostly quiet while watching something, but he did make a comment here and there, comments that made Naruto grin and sometimes even laugh a little.

"I can see why you like Beast Boy," Sasuke said during an episode.

"Oh yeah? He's awesome right?"

"He's a dunce."

"Hey! He's cool! He can turn into animals and is green!"

"I'm indifferent to green. Robin is alright."

"Heh, you're more like Raven I think. Hm. Maybe a side of Robin. Ah! The two birds!" Naruto leaned back on his hands. "You're a bird."

"I thought I was a hedgehog."

"I mean, you're prickly enough to be one," he joked, feeling…good. He liked bantering with Sasuke. For some reason, it was so easy and fun. He felt completely at ease.

"Funny. Are you going to paint yourself green?"

"Maybe for Halloween. Ah, I haven't dressed up for Halloween in a couple of years now. I should do that this year, maybe."

"Hn."

"Did you ever dress up?"

"Not really. My family didn't really celebrate Halloween and after they passed I…didn't really celebrate anything."

"Not even your birthday?"

Sasuke just gave a little shrug, which he took as a no.

Just as Naruto was about to ask Sasuke when his birthday was, his phone vibrated on the floor. Grabbing it off the floor, he saw that he got a text from Temari, but when he opened it he saw that it wasn't Temari texting him.

_I'm in town for the weekend if you want to meet up. We're heading to the lake today. – Gaara_

"Ah! My old friend Gaara's in town!" Naruto exclaimed excitedly, even showing the text to Sasuke.

"You act as if I know who that is."

"Tch, I just told you. He's an old friend. I met him when I was, what, thirteen? He and his siblings had transferred into my middle school."

Sasuke made a noise to show that he was listening, but Naruto was back to texting.

_ofc! is it okay if i invite someone else?_

Almost immediately he got a response: _I don't mind. I have to give Temari back her phone though. We're meeting at the lake around 3:30. _

_who's comin?_

_Temari, Shikamaru, Chouji, and maybe Kankuro. _

_alright! see ya soon!_

Gaara didn't respond to that, but Naruto had already set his phone to the side and looked at Sasuke, who was watching the show while picking at the crust of his pizza.

"Sooo my friend Gaara wants to hang out today."

"Good for you."

Naruto frowned. "I asked him if I could invite someone and he doesn't mind. So…do you want to come?"

Sasuke gave him an uncomfortable look.

"Why would I? He's not my friend."

"But you're mine…aren't you?"

Sasuke shifted, looking even more uncomfortable.

"Just because I agreed to be your friend –" Sasuke broke off and seemed to take a deep breath. "We don't have to suddenly start doing everything together."

That…sort of hurt.

"I didn't say we did," he said defensively. "But I like hanging out with you and…I mean…it'd be nice to hang out with you outside of the apartment and with others."

"I'm fine here, thank you."

"Would it help if I told you a little about Gaara and my friends? That way you won't be going in blind?"

"I don't _want_ to know about them," Sasuke snapped, which made Naruto feel a little like throwing his hands up in exasperation.

"Why are you getting mad?"

"Because you're _pushing it_. I said _no_."

Naruto bit his lip to keep from snapping back at him, but he was afraid that if he said any more, Sasuke would get up and leave. He was surprised that his heart hurt. They had been having such a good time too! Sasuke went back to watching the show, but Naruto couldn't focus on it anymore. He had just been thinking today that he wanted a close friendship with Sasuke and yet he was kept at arm's length.

"_Best to just not even try to go there with him. He never gets close to anyone. My advice? Don't take it personally. It's not you. It's everyone."_

Naruto's heart ached at the memory of Suigetsu's words. Perhaps it was foolish to expect any kind of real closeness from Sasuke, but he stubbornly didn't want to take Suigetsu's word on it. It hadn't been that long since they decided to be friends, so he should just…let it go.

It was only 1:30pm. He still had time with Sasuke _now_. He should just enjoy it, right? So what if Sasuke didn't want to be seen with him in public, at least he wanted to hang out with him in their apartment. He just…didn't understand why Sasuke never seemed to want to hang out with him outside of it…

As much as Naruto tried to make light of his mood, the rest of his time with Sasuke was…too quiet. Neither of them really said anything at all. Sasuke didn't make any more comments about the show, and when Naruto made little jokes here and there they were ignored.

Maybe it was a mistake, trying to invite and involve Sasuke more into his world, and maybe he was being too oversensitive about Sasuke rejecting him. His heart stung a little as he thought it, that it felt like Sasuke had just rejected him in a way. But he also knew that he shouldn't force it. Really, he just wanted to spend more time with him and have him in his group and…

But was it fair to push that on him?

"We should probably stop here," Naruto said as the episode was ending. An hour had passed so quickly and he knew he had to get ready to go, no matter how heavy and confused his heart was beginning to feel. He knew what he had to do to make it lighter, so he went with his gut and faced Sasuke, waiting for him to turn so they were looking at each other.

"I'm sorry. I…I was looking forward to spending our day off together. I wanted you to meet my friends and just…" He broke off with a sigh. "It's fine if you don't wanna go. We can hang out later?"

Sasuke didn't answer right away. It was as if he was deciding whether he wanted to talk to Naruto at all sometimes, or like he had to choose his words very carefully. Naruto was trying to get used to it, even if he secretly wanted Sasuke to be open with him so he didn't have to always guess what he was thinking.

"If you want to," he mumbled.

"Of course I want to. I'm the one who keeps making the effort to spend time together."

That might have come out more bitter than he'd meant.

Sasuke narrowed his eyes. "Why is this so important to you?"

Naruto opened his mouth to retort, but found he couldn't. His face felt warm, suddenly, and he grabbed his plate and empty can of pop and stood. "I should go. You can keep watching Teen Titans if you want." Without waiting for a response, he went to the kitchen and threw his empty can in a plastic, see through bag with other empty cans and bottles. He could hear Teen Titans still playing, so maybe Sasuke had decided to continue watching it without him. That made him kind of…sad, really. He wanted to see how Sasuke reacted to each episode and know what he thought.

Why was he being so sensitive? If it were Kiba or anyone else, he probably wouldn't care much.

He was probably just disappointed that Sasuke didn't seem to want to spend time with him, at least not as much as Naruto did. It sucked when what he felt wasn't mutual.

Mutual feelings…

He wondered what that felt like.

**~*N*~**

By the time Naruto got to the lake, only Shikamaru was there. Apparently Temari and Gaara were coming separately and it was still up in the air whether or not Kankuro was coming and Chouji was on his way.

He sat at a picnic table across from Shikamaru who, after exchanging pleasantries, asked him about his date with Hinata awhile back. Before answering, he remembered that Shikamaru had sent him a text on the day he had the date and how he had never thought to report back to him.

"It was…okay? I don't want to say it was bad or a disaster, even though it kind of was, because Hinata was good to me, but…" Naruto shrugged. "We just didn't fit, yanno?"

"I see. I can't say I'm too surprised. Hinata and Sakura aren't very similar and I'm assuming your type is…well, how Sakura is."

"Heh," Naruto rubbed the back of his neck. "I don't even know if I know what my type is? Hmm, honest…loyal…strong…independent…intelligent…"

"So you do know."

"Heh, well, even if Sakura sort of fit the bill, it still didn't work out, so who knows?"

"At least you're dating again. I think it's good. Should I keep an eye out for loyal, strong, and independent women?"

Naruto was about to say sure, go for it, but stopped himself. When he thought of it, he really…

"I'm okay with being single right now, actually," he said, and was almost surprised at just how much he meant it. "I've been getting to know my roommate and it's been fun. I like hanging out with him at the apartment. I actually invited him to hang with us today, but, well, he likes to stay in."

"Unlike you."

"Heh, well, I haven't been goin' out much lately."

"I know. That's why I thought it was good that you went out with Hinata."

"Eeeh, there's just not much to do lately. Or at least that's what it feels like."

"Not much to do or no one to do it with?"

Naruto frowned. "…I forget you're smart sometimes."

Shikamaru shrugged. "Did you take the bus here? I would have picked you up. Or is your address still a secret?"

Naruto sighed. "Sorry. I just…wanted to be alone for awhile. I'll give you my address. Thanks for offerin' me a ride all the time. I wish I had a car of my own."

"One day."

"I got too many of those 'one day' things…"

"My dad helped me get my car so I could drive myself to school." Shikamaru shrugged. "I just started paying him back, but he's pretty laid back about it."

"My roommate let me drive his car today," Naruto said.

"Really? I won't even let Chouji drive my car. You two must be getting close."

"I wish. His car doesn't really mean anything to him." _Nothing does_, his mind added, but it didn't feel right to say it out loud. "It's not in the best shape."

It was then that Gaara and Temari showed up, making Naruto jump. Temari shouted a greeting at them and he looked back to see them. Gaara looked…a bit different. In high school, he'd always had a very gothic look about him. Now he dressed less dark, though he still shaved his eyebrows off and lined his eyes in black. He wore dark blue jeans and a grey button up short sleeve shirt. It made his red hair stand out.

Naruto himself was dressed in faded blue jeans that had holes in the knees and a white t-shirt. Since he was just seeing friends, he hadn't felt the need to dress up.

Naruto and Shikamaru got up to greet them. Shikamaru and Temari didn't hug upon seeing each other, instead Temari punched him on the shoulder and told him to help her bring everything over – the small grill and the food. Naruto offered to help as well, but she said Kankuro was waiting for them in the parking lot still and that that would be plenty of help, so he was left alone with Gaara.

"We've been abandoned," Naruto said to Gaara, smiling at him.

"So we have. They'll take a minute to get everything ready. Temari said that since I'm visiting, I should take it easy and not worry about anything, so I doubt she'll let me help out." Gaara nodded to the left. "Want to talk a walk along the path with me?"

"Sure. We can catch up while Temari's bullying those two around."

Off to the left and all around the lake was an opening in a woodsy area. Naruto had walked through it a few times, but hadn't been all the way around the lake. He can Gaara took off, and Naruto remembered catching frogs around the area.

"So how has school been?" Naruto asked. Gaara had left for college and was living in a dorm, which was odd to think.

"It's going well. And you? I heard from Temari that you stopped going."

Naruto chuckled in an attempt to hide his embarrassment. "Uh, yeah, I dunno. I just…couldn't see much point in it. I was just going for a general education with nothing in mind. Felt like a waste of money in a way. I just…couldn't figure out what I wanted. Plus, the last semester, I really wasn't into it. I kinda failed a couple of classes. You know I was never a good student."

Gaara nodded. "Iruka must not have been happy about that."

Naruto shrugged. "Dunno. Probably. Haven't really heard from him lately. He called me a few times afterwards, but I wasn't able to pick up at the time and…never called him back so…yeah…"

"I see. Other than school, anything else different?"

"Yeah, a few things are." He looked away from Gaara, out into the trees. "Sakura broke up with me."

"I had heard…"

"Temari?"

Gaara didn't say anything, and when Naruto looked over at him his friend didn't have any real expression. It reminded him of Sasuke in a way, just because he couldn't exactly read his expressions either.

"It just wasn't working out. Honestly, Sakura…she did what was best, for both of us. I was so hesitant to end it, even though I, deep down, knew it wasn't working. It's hard to let go when I we had been together for a few years and…we were such good friends. I didn't want to lose her in my life. And, yanno, I kinda started to really rely on her in some ways. But…I feel relieved in a way. I also moved. Ah, since Sakura and I weren't gonna be living together like we had planned, I moved somewhere else of course. I've been gettin' to know my roommate and he's pretty cool, fun to hang around and tease an' stuff. I wish you could've met him, but he didn't want to come." He might have sounded a little grumpy by the end of that.

"And you're bothered by this?" Gaara asked, not sounding nosy or judgmental, but almost…like a therapist. Like he was just encouraging Naruto to talk, which is what he often did.

"It's not that he didn't want to come that bothered me, it's that… It's that he doesn't show any interest in me, my life, or our friendship. I feel like it's just so one sided, yanno? I ask him questions, I ask him to hang out, and then I hold my breath as I wait for his answers if he deems me worthy enough to give them to me." Naruto stopped to just breathe, which Gaara let him do. Gaara could be a rather quiet presence, so much so that it creeped Naruto out when he first met him. It wasn't until he found out about Gaara's living situation (which was an abusive environment) that he reached out to him and offered him friendship, having gone through abuse himself before Iruka.

Gaara didn't get out of his environment until his siblings moved out and then he moved with them. His father didn't even slightly care, having blamed Gaara for his mother's death.

Because they both experienced abuse at a young age, they sort of bonded through that. Gaara understood what it felt like to grow up feeling unloved and unwanted just as Naruto did, so he felt Gaara was someone sound he could sometimes talk to. Not that Naruto talked about his problems to Gaara often (almost never, in fact), but his stuff with Sasuke was so heavy on his mind that he thought he'd explode if he didn't talk to _someone_ about it, and Gaara seemed a safe choice since he didn't gossip.

He just…he really wanted to understand Sasuke…he was _trying_, but it often felt like he was the only one who cared.

"Argh, I'm getting frustrated and annoyed again… okay, new topic! What's new with you? Find yourself a girlfriend yet?"

"No. I can't say I've been looking. I just want to get through my classes and move on with life."

"Eh? Don't most people go to college to party and have sex though?" Naruto joked, elbowing his friend in the ribs.

"I may have seen and heard my fair share of that, but it's not something I'm particularly interested in. What about you?"

"Eh? What about me? I've never lived in a dorm or anything and I'm not in school now so…clearly I'm not partying or having sex a lot."

"I meant are there any other women you're interest in? Or…perhaps a man?"

Naruto froze, as if bracing himself, but Gaara said no more than that. It wasn't as if he had forgotten how he had let it slip one day after having one too many drinks, but still.

"I was drunk when I said that," he said.

"I know. You lose your filter when you drink. I swear I learned the most about you when you were trashed."

"When you say it like that, it's almost like you took advantage of me when I was drunk," he laughed nervously, as if making it all into a joke.

"So?"

Naruto coughed, looking off to the side at the lake. "No. No women and…definitely no men. I did go on a date with a girl a little bit ago, but it didn't work out. I…I'm fine being single for now. I mean what's the rush? I'm still in my early twenties! I have plenty of time to find my soul mate, heh, if those things exist."

"Not my place to say. We should start heading back though, they've probably set the grill up and have started cooking. We brought chips too. Sadly nothing spicy."

"Aw man, I love spicy food."

"I know." Gaara gave him a pat on the back.

The walk back to the others was quiet, an old memory playing in his mind of when he was at Temari and Kankuro's new apartment.

_Kankuro and Temari had bought a bunch of alcohol and were doing shots in the kitchen. Naruto had been doing some as well, but had eventually wandered into the living room, where Gaara was sitting on the couch nursing his mixed drink and watching something Naruto couldn't possibly remember on TV. _

_Naruto plopped down next to Gaara and faced him, one foot on the floor and the other tucked under his knee. _

"_Hey Gaara, do you ever look at guys and think…they're kinda hot?"_

"_Not particularly. I can acknowledge when a man is attractive, but I can't say I've ever been attracted to one."_

"_I didn't say I was attracted to guys, I was just sayin'…wait, what was I saying?"_

"_You think some men are hot?"_

_Naruto had fidgeted uncomfortably. _

"_I don't know? I mean, sometimes? I never got the urge to do _that_ though. And…and I love Sakura!"_

"_I never suggested you didn't."_

"_I just think sometimes."_

"_About men?"_

"…_Yeah. Like what it would be like, yanno? I've never had a _crush_ on a guy before or anything though, so it's probably just… I don't know. But I think about women more and I _know_ I'm attracted to them."_

"_You can like men but like women more."_

"_Eeeeeh it's confusing! Argh, just forget I said anything! My mind is bein' weird! I'mma get another drink!"_

The memory faded, and Naruto looked ahead and saw Kankuro and Temari cooking, while Shikamaru was being lazy and eating a bag of Doritos while talking to Chouji, who had apparently arrived while Gaara and Naruto were out for their walk.

Looking at them, Naruto…felt incredibly lonely, but he didn't know why. Gaara was still right next to him, and he was about to eat with everyone. Yet his heart ached and he longed for…_something_. Something that wasn't there.

He wondered if Sasuke was still watching Teen Titans. What episode was he on? If he wasn't watching Teen Titans, what was he doing?

Did he give Naruto any thought at all when he wasn't around?

"Hey, you okay?" Shikamaru asked as he approached the table.

He forced a smile.

"Of course. I'm with friends. Why wouldn't I be?"

* * *

Another chapter done! And yes, Gaara will reappear in future chapters. I want to show everyone in Naruto's life and their place in it.

I'm still in the midst of plotting and so far I have up to chapter 16 figured out. I'm very excited with the progress they'll make from now till then, so I hope you'll enjoy reading it as it comes :D!

Thank you for the reviews: **strikedeathkd53019, Guest, Headphone girl A15, berry5tz, the Moon our Witness **– Much, much love to you guys!

**berry5tz:** Awesome! Your reviews brighten my day so I'm glad to return the favor :D! Yes, it didn't seem very in character to have Hinata be upset at Naruto, to just recognize that it isn't what she had hoped for and, in the end, not what she wanted at all. I wanted to keep her honest, fair, and kind. I think they handled it maturely, which is what I wanted to show. That Naruto really had learned his lesson and wasn't going to put himself in the same situation as he had with Sakura – stuck in a relationship that just doesn't work. At least it ended before it had a chance to begin so no real hurt happened and they can easily continue on as friends. Yes! Naruto definitely got some encouragement in his friendship pursuit of Sasuke. It's a lot of push and pull for them, I feel. Sasuke's got a lot of baggage which you guys will learn as we go. I haven't even come close to revealing all the crap he's lugging around, but I've left hints here and there and will continue to sprinkle them in until the reveals.

**the Moon our Witness:** Haha, no, it's okay. I know I take awhile to update. It's just because I have so much else going on. (Real life, art, comics, other stories, and soon the holiday season will be upon me OTL;;) I'm very grateful for the few who keep up with this story regardless. I'm glad you're enjoying this. I'll do my best…or try to haha. And yes! Lots more will be changing between Naruto and Sasuke! Naruto will have a tremendously positive influence on Sasuke which I'm going to enjoy writing about!


	11. The Blues

**To Love and be Loved**

Chapter 11: The Blues

Pairings: Eventual NarutoxSasuke, past NarutoxSakura

Rating: Right now it's like PG13 or T, but it'll build up to M(A)

Warning: None for this chapter I think?

Author's Note: This chapter starts off in Naruto's POV, but it's a Sasuke-centric chapter :D!

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.

**~*N*~**

It was Saturday and Naruto was happy to have the day off. He had been scheduled to work every day this week and had put in his fair share of hours, working open to close at the restaurant. His coworker had gone on vacation so he had taken up her hours. It was honestly a blessing. He had the money for the rest of his bills tucked away and was even able to put a little into his savings. Because of this, though, he hadn't really seen Sasuke all week. He woke up and immediately went to work, then he'd come home, shower, and pass out, then did the same the next day. It was exhausting.

Now it was Saturday and he was looking forward to spending some time with him. After he had spent time with his friends at the lake, he had come home and apologized to Sasuke for pushing him.

"_It doesn't matter. Forget about it."_

That had been Sasuke's response. At first Naruto thought he was still mad at him, but he wasn't. Sasuke acted as if their little fight hadn't happened and he wasn't sure what to feel about that, but had decided to just accept it and move on. He usually liked talking things out when a fight happened, so that no one would hold onto any anger that would pop up later. He had learned that in his relationship with Sakura. She had been taking a psychology class about sexuality and it had also covered relationships, and she wanted to test what she learned on their relationship and that involved…so much more communication that he felt talked out often. But it had been good, even if there were things they hadn't talked about, they had gotten a lot of other things out there. Naruto knew that if he were to get into another relationship, he would definitely be using what he had learned through Sakura.

So when Naruto rolled out of bed at noon, he had every intention to spend the day with Sasuke. He had laid in bed wondering what to do. Since Sasuke wasn't too keen on leaving the apartment and they'd finished watching Teen Titans (or Sasuke had, Naruto only got to see a few episodes with him, but, hey, at least that meant he liked it) and they had beaten the game for the PS2. He supposed it was up to Sasuke. He'd throw some suggestions his way and see what it was he wanted to do.

That was the plan, anyway.

When he left his room Sasuke was apparently still in his. Was he sleeping in? Naruto wasn't sure what kind of week he'd had, but maybe it had been stressful too. Naruto knew that Sasuke didn't really have a set schedule in work. His work seemed to like switching him from mornings to midnights. He remembered a few days where Sasuke was gone for work before Naruto had gotten up for work himself, and learned that he had gone in at 3am and got out at noon.

But he usually had the weekends off…

Deciding to just go ahead and each lunch then, Naruto went to the kitchen to make himself a bag of pork ramen. He went to sit on the couch while he waited for the water to boil. Just as he found the remote between the couch cushions, Sasuke came out of his room with a pretty bad case of bed head. He looked a bit grumpy, but he often did in the morning so that wasn't too big of a surprise.

"Good morning!"

Sasuke grunted in response and went into the kitchen, where he heard the fridge door open and then he was back with a bottle of water, going back to his room.

"Are you ignoring me?" Naruto frowned, trying not to feel hurt.

Sasuke paused in front of his bedroom door to look back at him.

"I thought we could spend today together. I worked all week and we haven't really hung out much lately… Do you work at all today? Do you wanna…rent some movies or…play a game or anything?"

"No."

And then he went into his bedroom without giving Naruto another thought.

He couldn't stop the sting in his chest from that.

Getting up from the couch, he bit his lip and pressed his forehead to his door. "Do you want me to make you anything to eat?"

"No. Go away."

So, with a bit of a heavy heart, Naruto did just that, going to the kitchen to see that his water was boiling and so he put the noodles in.

_He's just being a morning grump, _he assured himself.

After pouring his noodles into a bowl he went back to sit on the couch and decided to watch whatever was on…which wasn't much. While waiting for his noodles to cool, he went over to his DVD shelf and went through his movies. There wasn't much. A lot of the movies he had were animations and super hero movies. When he and Sakura had been dating, his shelves were stocked with some of her movies that she kept around for when they had a movie night. Romantic movies like The Notebook and she, no matter how much she tried to deny it later on, even used to have the Twilight movies…until she grew out of them and became embarrassed to ever having enjoyed it and they disappeared from his life (thankfully).

He eventually decided on the Ghibli movie Ponyo. The animation was beautiful and made him want to draw a watery scene, but instead he ate his noodles. As he did, he thought of Hinata and how she had enjoyed his art. Naruto hadn't been lying when he said he thought his art was crap and really nothing to write home about. Sakura had apparently thought so too. She had never said it to him, but whenever he showed her anything she was never very enthused. She would give him a one worded compliment and then move on to something else. It had left him feeling rather brushed off, so he eventually stopped showing her. Sakura did go through an art phase, which Naruto had been happy about, but she had gotten over it quickly enough and when she stopped drawing, Naruto found himself drawing less and less as well.

But why did he stop? He couldn't really remember. It had just…happened.

Halfway through the movie, Sasuke came out of his room and went back into the kitchen. He assumed for something to eat. He hadn't said anything to Naruto, so he wasn't sure if he should try to engage in conversation again, but he had to take his now empty bowl out anyway. He paused the movie, right at a point where Ponyo was shouting the little boys name in excitement. It was so…strange to hear, because whenever he heard the boy's name he thought of Sasuke, since they sounded similar.

"Hey, you feelin' alright?" Naruto asked when he got to the kitchen. Sasuke was holding the fridge open.

"Fine."

"You hungry?"

Sasuke grunted.

Naruto put his bowl in the sink and said, "You can have a bag of my ramen if you want."

Sasuke didn't move or say anything to that.

"Are you…mad at me?"

Sasuke sighed, as if becoming exasperated. "No."

"Then what's up? I know you're not the most social person in the world, but…we'd been doing pretty good lately. Now it's like you don't want me around at all."

"Because I don't."

"Why? And why are you being such an asshole about it?"

"I'm being honest." Sasuke looked at him. "Am I not allowed to want to have a day to myself?"

"I didn't say that," Naruto said, feeling defensive. "If all you want is some alone time you could just be upfront and say so from the get go, instead of making me think you're mad at me or that somethin's wrong!"

Why did they always fight? More than that, why did fighting with Sasuke not put him off? Usually when he bumped heads with someone this much he didn't want to stick around (like when Kiba started getting on his nerves), but no matter how frustrated he got with Sasuke, he didn't always want to leave. He'd rather work it out so they could make up and…spend more time together. He enjoyed his company, regardless of how much of a bastard he could be at times.

Naruto's phone went off in the background, but he ignored it, keeping his eyes locked with Sasuke's, but then he was alerted to a text message and Sasuke said, "Answer your phone."

Taking a deep breath, Naruto went to his phone and picked it up, frowning as he read the text.

When he went back to the kitchen, Sasuke was putting a bagel in the toaster.

"It's my work. They want me to come in. Apparently someone's sick and they want to leave early."

"Good. Then maybe I can have some time to myself today."

Annoyed, Naruto turned and said, "Right. If you're gonna be a bastard today then it's fine. I'm happy to get the fuck out of here."

"Then go," Sasuke snapped, now looking angry as he went back to his room, slamming his door shut.

Naruto swore his blood pressure just went up as he went to his room to get ready to leave.

He felt stupid for wanting to spend the day with someone who didn't give a fuck about him.

**~*S*~**

Sasuke listened for Naruto to leave, feeling relieved when he heard the door shut.

Today was the last day he wanted to spend with anyone, especially someone who seemed to care…

Although Naruto cared too much, Sasuke thought.

Now that Naruto was gone, there was no point in hiding in his room from him, so he went out and saw that Naruto had forgotten to turn the TV or his movie off. He picked up the case for the movie and looked it over. It was an animation that was made in Japan, which made his heart ache.

Sasuke didn't have too many memories of living in Japan, for he had certainly lived in America for much, much longer. But his happiest memories were in Japan, he couldn't deny that. It hadn't been long since moving over to America that he lost his family and his life took a turn for the worst.

He set the DVD case back on the floor next to Naruto's PS2.

His eyes moved to the clock on the wall. The one that had been broken had been replaced by Naruto. It was 2pm now. Only ten more hours and the day would be over.

It was July 23rd, a day he wished would be wiped from existence.

It was the day Sasuke was brought into existence, now twenty three years ago.

Of course, Sasuke never celebrated. There were times when Kakashi had tried to do something for his birthday. He'd try and take him out to dinner. Sasuke had let him once, but it was such a miserable experience that Kakashi hadn't pushed too much the following year. Sasuke had refused to talk to him and ignored Kakashi whenever he tried to talk. He knew he was being difficult, but Sasuke never claimed to be easy.

Certainly not to love.

Sasuke remembered the last birthday he had celebrated. It was before he had moved to America from Japan. He remembered how there were certain people – relatives – that weren't there. It had struck him as odd because they had never missed a birthday before then, but when he asked his mother about it she had just smiled and said they weren't able to make it this year, then quickly changed the subject.

His parents had told him they were moving to America soon after. Itachi hadn't really responded to it and he remembered him arguing with his father…_often_ after that. A household that had once been so warm and loving and comfortable became tense and distant and uncomfortable. Sasuke didn't understand why it had changed and he was upset that Itachi seemed to know more than he did. Even his brother, who had been so open and kind to him, became distant and cold, even snapping at Sasuke when he asked (albeit persistently) him to play or even just to hang out.

He hadn't understood what he had done wrong or why his brother never wanted to be around him after they moved, or why tensions were so high between him and their father. Sasuke wanted to understand, but no one would tell him anything.

And now they were all gone.

He sat on the couch and looked in the direction of the door. Naruto, too, had just left, because Sasuke had chased him away. How funny. He had worked so hard as a child to keep his family together. He would try and tell his mom things they could do together, even if it was something as mundane as eating watermelon in the morning together or just watching a movie. His mother was the only person who remained warm and loving to him, though she certainly could have a temper, especially if Sasuke ever slacked on his homework! But she was the one person whose love he'd never doubted or questioned, and for that Sasuke had wanted to protect and look after her.

Now he had no one to look after. And instead of trying to keep the people who made the mistake of trying to get close to him around, he instead pushed them away. He had pushed away Kakashi. He had pushed away anyone who had attempted to befriend him, like Naruto. He had most certainly made people who considered liking him in any romantic context regret their poor decisions quickly. Juugo being one of them, he was sure.

He was such a fucking mess.

Yet he had told Naruto he would try and be his friend. Why? It had been a split decision, something he had decided on a whim. Honestly he was just so tired…of everything. When he was around Naruto, he could breathe and didn't feel so tired and done. He gave Sasuke something to look forward to. He…liked watching the things Naruto liked. Naruto got so passionate about it. At first he had been almost hesitant, as if waiting to see Sasuke's reaction to the things he liked. Once Sasuke showed that he didn't dislike it, though he never told Naruto he liked it, Naruto started getting more talkative about it all. And without even trying, Sasuke found himself falling into easy conversation with him.

Naruto was…comfortable.

And if he were to be completely honest, he had _missed_ Naruto throughout the week.

He hadn't missed anyone outside of his family…in a long time…

Well, Kakashi had admittedly crossed his mind now and then, but it wasn't the same. That was a dull ache that came and went. With Naruto, it was an ache that didn't go away, laced with the desire to talk to him or just…sit in the same room with him.

And then there was his family…

Itachi…

Sasuke looked at the window. The sun was shining regardless of his mood. Children were outside playing. Siblings were fighting or playing or following the eldest around or getting scolded by their parents for being bad. Life continued on.

And somewhere out there, was Itachi.

Sasuke's pressed his hand to his chest and squeezed his eyes shut, not wanting to see the sun. He lay down on the couch, curled up on his side and facing away from the window.

He bet Itachi hated him for what he did.

He bet Naruto hated him for how he was.

Though he knew Naruto would forgive him, for reasons beyond his comprehension, because that was how it was with them. Sasuke acted like an ass who didn't deserve anyone or anything, and Naruto got mad at him and then forgave him and stuck around.

He was such a fool.

_He'd be better off had I not been born. Both of them._

With that thought, Sasuke blindly grabbed for the controller under his leg and let Naruto's movie play in the background, the noise helping him drift away from his thoughts.

He just wanted to sleep the day away.

**~*S*~**

Sasuke woke up when he heard the door close, signaling that Naruto was home. He glanced over his shoulder at the clock and saw it was close to 11pm.

Just one more hour…

He closed his eyes again as he heard Naruto's approaching footsteps.

"Hey…you awake?" Naruto asked in an annoyingly gentle voice.

He didn't want Naruto to be gentle.

He didn't deserve it.

Hadn't he been enough of an asshole to Naruto this morning to show him that?

Sasuke didn't want to answer him, but there was a pressure in his chest that threatened to choke him. It grew as he heard Naruto shift and make to leave.

"…I am," he whispered, but Naruto had heard him.

And stayed.

He came up to Sasuke on the couch, took the controller and shut off the movie, then went to shut off his PS2. Sasuke watched him as he did. Naruto stayed on his knees in front of the TV.

"Sorry…I wasn't trying to pressure you to spend time with me when you wanted alone time. I…should have just left you alone."

"Why are you apologizing?" Sasuke asked, feeling annoyed.

"I just feel like I keep fucking up with you," Naruto said, sounding almost frustrated.

"I just hate today."

"Why?"

Sasuke just shook his head. He couldn't say. He was sure that if he told Naruto, he'd make a deal about it. Maybe he'd try and bake him a cake or something as equally pointless.

"I don't want to say."

To his surprise, Naruto said, "Okay."

"I thought you'd push for it."

"I want to, but my gut tells me I shouldn't."

So simplistic.

Sasuke was uncomfortable with how much he liked how simplistic Naruto could be.

"How…are you feeling now? I mean, what do you want? Should I leave you alone?"

He wanted to fall asleep watching and listening to Naruto play a game, but he couldn't bring himself to ask for it.

Not today.

"I just want to sleep the rest of the day away," Sasuke said.

Naruto nodded, but looked conflicted.

"Alright. Will we…I mean, do you wanna hang out tomorrow?"

Sasuke wanted to smack himself for the way he felt at being asked. He looked up at Naruto, who looked so hesitant and…strangely vulnerable to him. Naruto was easy enough to read. He was so…expressive. He had stood up, and was toeing the carpet nervously.

"We can," he murmured.

"Okay. Well…I'm gonna take a shower. G'night."

And Sasuke went back to sleep soon after, not wanting to dwell on the disappointment of Naruto leaving the room.

* * *

Aka Birthday Blues.

I almost skipped right by this chapter, since it's almost filler, but I just couldn't skip over Sasuke's bday. So that means we're in late July in this story. There will be a bit of a time skip in the next chapter as we're gonna fly right past August and into September. This story is meant to take place over time (a year min, but it'll probably be a bit longer). Anyway, I took this as a chance to make a Sasuke-centric fic so that we learned a bit more about him. Just a bit. Can't give everything up yet ;D!

Thank you for reviewing **berry5tz** and **Karelia Jones**!

**berry5tz:** I'm on a roll! Feeling super inspired to write atm. I even outlined more and am up to chapter 27 for this story. _ It looks like it might be over 30 chapters after all. I wasn't planning for that but…we'll see! Naruto is definitely making a lot of progress with Sasuke. A lot of it is just him simply not giving up on him or letting Sasuke push him away. Which means more than even Sasuke thinks. It's like that in the manga too, I think. Thank you so much for the lovely review! As always, it was a joy to read!

**Karelia Jones:** That's how I felt about Naruto too. When I started deciding on relationships Naruto had with other people in this story, I really looked at how it was in the manga, or how I see it as. I'm glad you like my version of him :D!


	12. Friend Date

**To Love and be Loved**

Chapter 12: Friend Date

Pairings: Eventual NarutoxSasuke, past NarutoxSakura

Rating: M as of now kittens!

Warning: Some sexual content.

Author's Note: I had fun writing this chapter. :3 I hope you guys will have fun reading it! Also I think Dressed in Black by Sia kinda fits Sasuke in this story, so you should totally give the song a listen!

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.

**~*N*~**

Naruto shuddered as a mouth sucked and tongued his hip, avoiding the place he wanted attention the most. He couldn't stop his hips from shifting, causing the person teasing him to chuckle. Growling, he fisted the other's short hair and brought the other up until their lips met in a messy kiss.

The body that pressed against his was hard and flat, not at all like the soft curves he was used to, and he _liked_ it. He liked the soft curves, but he also couldn't deny that this was also turning him on. His body moved with the man's over him, their cocks sliding together and his legs pushing Naruto's apart. Naruto's inner thighs slide against the man's as he bent his knees.

The man – who Naruto didn't know, nor did he remember what he looked like – reached between their bodies and began fisting them together. Groaning, Naruto reached behind the man and grabbed his ass, enjoying the feeling of another man's cock against his.

The man whispered in his ear, asking him what he wanted.

Naruto found himself unable to answer. He just wanted to get off at this point, so he rolled the man over onto his back and took control, kissing him harshly and roughly fisting them together. He imagined all the things he wanted to and how he was going to make damn sure he did it all before the night ended. He wanted the man's mouth, his hands, his cock, his ass – he wanted to do everything he could possibly think of in every position possible.

He felt the telltale signs of a good orgasm, with a warm and willing body against him, something he hadn't had much of in far too long.

But just as he was about to come, the world around him and the faceless man underneath him faded away.

Naruto woke up covered in sweat and breathing heavily, his heart was racing and…

Yeah. That was definitely morning wood.

He fell back on his pillow with a groan. It had been a long time since he'd had one of _those_ dreams. The face of the…man…he had been with in his dream was a blur. He wasn't sure he ever had a face.

He wondered if he should finish it off or just…ignore it. It felt weird to finish it when sex with a man was what caused it. It was confusing.

It wasn't as if Naruto had ever had a serious crush on a man, so how could he say he was into them? He had once thought Hinata's cousin Neji was…attractive, but when he had tried to test out the image and imagine sex with him, it just…didn't work. He didn't want it.

And yet…he had dreamed _that_.

It was so _confusing_.

"_You can like men, but like women more."_

That was what Gaara had said. Naruto definitely felt that he was more attracted to women, but…was he also attracted to men? Naruto wasn't sure how to feel about that, mostly because he was so unsure if he really was since he'd never wanted to pursue anything with a man before.

It…was tiring to think about, but at least thinking about it had taken him out of the mood.

Kicking the covers completely off of him, he checked his phone. He had a few messages on Facebook and quickly went through them, then tossed his phone on the bed and got up. He went to the bathroom to pee, washed his hands, ate a quick breakfast of Captain Crunch Berries, and through all of that, the place remained quiet. Sasuke was probably still sleeping as he had worked a late shift last night and hadn't come home until after Naruto had fallen asleep around 1am.

While Naruto brushed his teeth in the bathroom (with the door wide open), Sasuke walked in with some clothes in hand, messy hair, and a grumpy expression. Naruto had learned that Sasuke could be a bit moody when he first woke up and liked to be by himself for a bit.

"G'mornin'," Naruto greeted happily with his mouth full of toothpaste.

"Hn."

"Gonna take a shower?"

"I'd like to, yes. I didn't get to shower last night."

"How late did you come home?"

"_Late_."

Naruto snickered and then washed his mouth out.

"Alright. It's all yours."

Sasuke grunted and just as Naruto turned around to close the door, he saw Sasuke take his shirt off and saw his naked back.

Naruto realized then that he had never seen Sasuke without any kind of clothes on. Even on the hottest days in August, he still remained dressed in at least a t-shirt and pants. Sometimes the bottoms of his pants were rolled up to his knees, but that was about it. As he closed the door, he remembered asking Sasuke about it last month.

"_Aren't you hot in that?"_

"_Yes, but I don't have anything else to wear."_

"_Eh? Why not go and buy yourself some summer clothes?"_

"_I don't want to spend the money. It's just another month anyway. I can handle it."_

It was September now. August had flown by. He was a bit sad because he hadn't gone to the beach once and now the water was too cold to go. Sasuke, of course, hadn't gone either, and Naruto wondered if he even knew how to swim. It might've been fun to go to the beach together, to swim and maybe throw him around a little bit. He smiled at the mental image, but as he imagined it, he also imagined Sasuke in swimming trunks.

He glanced back at the door, wondering what Sasuke looked like. He never saw him work out, so he didn't think he'd be very muscular, but he looked slim, or just skinny. Sasuke didn't eat a whole lot. The majority of what he ate were eggs and vegetables, or whatever was lying around. He drank a lot of tea and water, but never pop like Naruto.

He wasn't sure why the thought came, but he wondered if Sasuke ever had dirty dreams or masturbated. He must, right? He could be cold and distant, but he was still human and had been sexually active before. What did he dream of? What did he fantasize about? What kind of man attracted him?

An image of Sasuke touching himself in the shower flashed through his mind and his cheeks became warm. He quickly left the kitchen and went back to his room, as if Sasuke would walk out of the bathroom and catch him having weird thoughts. Why had he even thought that at all? Maybe it was just because he'd had that dream, and maybe it was just because it had _been_ awhile since he'd had sex. Maybe he was even at a point where anyone, even a man, would do?

Argh, his head was gonna start hurting if he kept thinking about it!

Although, thinking about Sasuke's…er…body…led to thoughts about his own. He had sort of let himself go this year. He used to be very fit and active. He loved playing sports and running around and exploring the world, but he hadn't done any of that since he and Sakura had broken up. He had become so lazy. He hadn't gained much weight, but he definitely wasn't as toned as he used to be. He kind of missed it. Working out was good as a stress reliever. He remembered at the end of the relationship, he had worked out a fair amount, but maybe that was because he and Sakura had stopped having sex.

…He should really get his mind off of bodies and sex.

He fell back on his bed and wondered how he would spend the day. Since they both had the day off, he of course already figured he'd spend the day with Sasuke, but Naruto was getting a bit bored of always staying indoors. The weather was supposed to be nice today and who knew how long that'd last. He wanted to go out and do something, but Sasuke so far had yet to take their friendship out of the apartment.

When he heard the bathroom door open and close, he got up from his bed and went back into the kitchen to see Sasuke getting a bottle of water from the fridge. He had a dark blue t-shirt on and plain jeans.

"Hey, we hangin' out today?"

"If you want to."

"Of course I do! But…I kinda wanna go out."

Sasuke gave him an almost tired look.

"You don't have to if you really don't wanna, but it's supposed to be nice outside and who knows how long that'll last. Winter will be here before you know it. I wanna take advantage of the nice weather while we have it."

Sasuke shifted and bit the corner of his mouth. Naruto had noticed that this was something he did when he was unsure. Naruto couldn't understand what was so hard about simply…going outside, but he didn't want to fight about it, so he was just going to leave it all up to Sasuke.

"Well, I'm headin' out once I get dressed. I think I'll go get some ice cream down town." He put his hands in the pockets of his black lounging pants. "It'd be great if you came with me, but…if you don't want to, I'll see you when I get back and we can do somethin' then."

With that, he went into his room to get dressed. Sasuke didn't say anything, so maybe he was just going to stay in. That was fine, he told himself as he put on a simple white t-shirt with an orange swirl in the center and jeans. He had checked the weather and saw that it was going to be the late seventies, perfect weather for walking around with some ice cream.

When he left his room, Sasuke was still in the kitchen, just standing there. Naruto wasn't sure if he should say anything. He didn't want to keep asking him the same thing and pester him, but it felt weird to just walk by him without a word, so they were stuck in still silence.

Luckily Sasuke had mercy though and didn't make him wait too long for an answer.

"I don't think I should," he said softly.

Naruto wished he knew what that meant, or why he looked so…he wasn't sure if sad was the right word, but Sasuke just looked unhappy to him and it hurt his heart.

"Okay…well…I'll be back in a couple of hours."

And then he left without another word, knowing that if he stayed any longer he'd grill him on why he shouldn't go and why he looked so tormented all the time.

When he got outside, the weather felt _amazing_. Naruto paused outside the door and took a deep breath of fresh air. There was a gentle breeze which felt good on his skin, and the sun was high and bright in the sky, surrounded by fluffy white clouds. August had a lot of really hot days, which were only enjoyable if he was in the water which…he was not at all this year. At least their basement apartment was a bit cooler, but when he went outside to go to work he felt like he was about to literally catch on fire. The heat mixed with high humidity was suffocating.

So that he was able to walk around with ease was such a relief, so much so that he wasn't even bothered that he was by himself. He felt content to just be in such nice weather.

Yet as he got about two blocks away from his apartment, he found himself looking back…

And saw Sasuke watching him.

**~*S*~**

Sasuke had stayed still after Naruto had left, and he felt an undeniable pressure in his chest. Naruto hadn't asked him to leave the apartment with him – outside of getting groceries – in awhile. He had assumed that when Naruto had asked him to go hang out, they'd be doing the usual – movies, games, TV shows, ramen…

He had…

Sasuke leaned back against the counter, the pressure in his chest increasing.

He had looked forward to it.

What right did he have to feel that though?

The last month he had felt the closest to content in a long, long time, and he was so tired. Even now, his body felt as if it was made of wet sand. He felt weighed down by everything he thought and felt, and then everything he thought he wasn't allowed to think or feel.

The pressure wouldn't go away.

He knew he'd waste the day away doing nothing with Naruto gone. That he would probably turn on the TV and nap the day away.

He might as well just be dead.

He lived and enjoyed life about as much as a corpse.

Chewing on the corner of his mouth, he grabbed his keys and, on impulse and without another thought, he left the apartment. When he got outside, he breathed in the air, his lungs reminding him that he was in fact still alive. He walked at the end of the driveway and to the sidewalk, looking around until he spotted Naruto about two blocks away. Not a second later, Naruto looked back and then stopped. Sasuke couldn't see his face very well, but he knew Naruto was waiting for him, and Sasuke was secretly grateful.

He couldn't turn back now.

So he walked in Naruto's direction, not hurrying in any way, and when he got up to Naruto, the blond just looked at him questioningly.

Sasuke shrugged. "I changed my mind."

"You do that a lot," Naruto noted. He didn't sound upset or put out, so Sasuke wasn't offended at the observation.

_Only when it comes to you, it seems_, he almost said, but managed to hold his tongue. It was true though. Something about Naruto…sometimes it made him act impulsively.

Made him decide things on a whim.

Wanting to change the subject, Sasuke asked, "So where are we going?"

"Ah, there's an ice cream place I like downtown. It's a bit of a walk, but the weather's so comfortable I thought it'd be nice." Naruto paused to stretch his arms. "It feels so good out, right? I kinda wish it would be like this all year, though I'd still like snow on Christmas, at least, then it can go back to this."

"I could do well without snow," Sasuke said, thinking about how much he hated driving in it. "But, yes, it does feel nice now."

"Snow can be fun to play in. Maybe this winter we can go to the park and build a snowman!"

"How old are you?"

"You're never too old to play in the snow!" Naruto grinned, looking…happy. "You can build one with me if you want. Ah, and go sledding! It'll be fun!

"Hn. We'll see."

Listening to Naruto talk about future plans was…odd. Sasuke never looked forward to anything. The future wasn't something he allowed himself to think about in a long, _long_ time. He had no idea where his life was headed, but he doubted it would be anywhere happy. He had thought that for a long time.

Yet…he felt surprisingly light, walking next to Naruto to get ice cream and listening to him talk. The pressure he had felt in his chest earlier, the weight he had felt, it had went away.

It was something that only happened when he was with Naruto.

**~*N*~**

To say Naruto was in a good mood now would be an understatement. He hadn't thought Sasuke would join him, but he was happy he did. He liked having someone to talk to. The walk was about thirty to forty minutes, so by the time they got to the ice cream place he was ready for his treat.

The interior was interesting. There was an actual vault along the wall to the left. The windows were to the right as well as some high white tables with high chairs that would allow his feet to dangle in the air, but there were also a couple of white round tables that were lower to the ground outside as well.

"I'mma get a hot fudge sundae, what about you?"

"Nothing. I'm not a big fan of ice cream."

"What? Really? Who doesn't like ice cream?"

"Me. I'm not much into sweets in general."

"Weird. But they have soup and sandwiches here too yanno. You should get something." And after a tiny pause, Naruto quickly added, "My treat." It suddenly occurred to him that Sasuke might not be able to afford to get anything.

Sasuke didn't say anything, but did look at the board to see what they had after a minute. While he did that, Naruto told the woman what he wanted, a hot fudge sundae with sprinkles on top, which she put in a Styrofoam cup. When she was done getting it for him, he turned to Sasuke.

"I'd like a bowl of Tomato Tortellini…if you don't mind."

Naruto snorted. "Of course I don't mind."

"Thank you," Sasuke said, sounding almost surprisingly sincere, as he often did whenever money was involved. It made Naruto wonder if Sasuke ever got treated, or got financial help. Naruto was on his own, but he knew if he ever needed it, Jiraiya would help him out, Tsunade probably would too, and even though he hadn't spoken to him or returned his call, he knew Iruka would also help him out.

Did Sasuke not have anyone like that?

Money seemed to be such a stress for him. It hurt his heart in a way and made him want to treat Sasuke even more, to let him know that he has someone he can rely on.

He ordered the soup for him and then they sat at a table outside, wanting to enjoy the fresh air as much as possible.

"How's the soup?" Naruto asked as he made sure he got as many sprinkles and fudge as possible on his spoon.

"It's good. Thank you."

"No problem. I like treating my friends," Naruto smiled. "So no sweets, huh? Not even as a kid?"

"No, not really."

"What about on Halloween? What'd you do with all the candy you got?"

"I never went trick or treating."

"Really?" Naruto asked, a bit shocked. "Not even once?"

Sasuke didn't seem bothered and Naruto found that he was really enjoying Sasuke answering questions about himself. It'd be great if he went more into detail, but this was good too. Maybe Sasuke felt that he owed him for the soup (even though he didn't) or maybe it was just that it felt so good out it would be a feat to be grumpy.

"No. We don't do that in Japan and…by the time the opportunity came about, I was older and just didn't have an interest."

"Ah, right, I forgot you're from Japan."

"Hn."

"What's it like there? Is it very different?"

"There are of course differences. There are differences no matter where you go, I'm sure."

"But like, with holidays? What about Christmas?"

"It's not that big of a deal. New Year's is our big holiday, though it's not celebrated like it is here. There's no midnight kiss. New Year's is a holiday you spend with your family," Sasuke trailed off, as if taken over by old memories, but judging by the look in his eyes, it must be painful to think about. As much as Naruto wanted to hear more of Sasuke's family, he didn't want to ruin his mood.

"So did you finish the Spider-man/Deadpool comics?"

"I did."

"And?"

"As I said before, I can see why you like Deadpool."

Naruto laughed. "Oh yeah! I love him! But I like Spider-man too."

"I don't think I have a favorite between them, but I like them both. I liked the issue where Spider-man goes…dark."

"Oh yeah, that's a good one. Wade totally deserved it! Killin' him all those times. Ah, I think that was my favorite issue though. So far any—"

"Naruto!"

Naruto nearly jumped out of his fucking skin! A hand clamped down on his shoulder and he looked up to see Ino smiling brightly down at him.

"Nice to see you out of your man cave," Ino joked.

"Hey, Naruto."

Naruto looked past Ino and saw Sakura, dressed in a pretty skirt with a white and pink cupcake design (with sprinkles) and a white off shoulder top.

"Hey Sakura," Naruto smiled, feeling unsure. He hadn't thought of her in…a little bit, but she looked good. Sakura had always been very beautiful and very feminine. He had liked that. But the thing that he had always liked most about her with her green eyes. They were the most beautiful eyes he had ever seen.

"Who's your friend?" Ino asked, interrupting his thoughts.

"Ah, this is Sasuke. He's my roommate."

Naruto chanced a look at Sasuke, but found that his expression had become blank. He wasn't quite sure how to take that. Meanwhile Ino looked almost flustered as she took in his appearance, which made him a bit uncomfortable, but he wasn't sure why.

He wondered if she could tell he was gay.

Was that even possible?

"Well, we should go and get our ice cream," Sakura said as she ushered Ino away from the table, but while Ino went in, Sakura stopped and looked back at him. Naruto, embarrassed that he had been watching her, wasn't sure if he should look away or—

And then she walked back to the table.

"Hey, I was thinking…it's been awhile since we've talked, right?"

"Huh? Oh, um, yeah. I guess."

"Do you want to get lunch sometime? We can talk and…catch up. I don't know anything about your life anymore and…" Sakura paused, having been speaking quickly, which in a way kind of comforted him. "I just want to catch up with you. I miss you."

_I miss you._

Naruto wanted to tell her that he missed her too. He missed her friendship.

"Yeah. Let's have lunch sometime."

"Is next Saturday good for you?"

"Sure," Naruto smiled at her, which she returned. It felt a bit awkward, but…this was what he wanted. He hoped that…they could at least be friends again.

"I'll text you. Your number's still the same, right?"

"Of course it is. It hasn't been _that_ long," Naruto joked.

"Alright then. I should get back to Ino." She looked at Sasuke, her eyes lingering a bit. "It was good to meet you, Sasuke."

Sasuke didn't say anything, but Sakura didn't take offense and went inside after Ino.

After that, Sasuke went back to quietly eating his soup, and Naruto found his eyes going back to Sakura, almost wishing they could just talk now, but not knowing what to say. It was…strange. Naruto had kept some things from Sakura, but he also tended to just blurt whatever came to mind to her. The nerves were also there. Was he ready to see her again? They had broken up in late April and it was September now. It had been almost half a year now. Naruto wasn't dating around and hadn't had a date since Hinata, but that didn't mean anything to him. He was just enjoying spending time with Sasuke and making a new friend. He wasn't…pining after Sakura. It hadn't worked out and for good reason, so there wasn't an issue there.

What if Sakura was dating someone though? How would he feel?

…He didn't know. He didn't feel much of anything when he thought of it, but what if that changed when he heard of it? Didn't Ino say she liked someone awhile back?

"Your ice cream's melting," Sasuke commented, and Naruto looked down to see that, yes, most of his ice cream had in fact melted and his hot fudge wasn't so hot anymore.

"Ah, sorry, I got lost in my thoughts," Naruto chuckled nervously.

"I can see that."

"That was my ex, Sakura," he said, even though Sasuke hadn't asked. "The one with the cupcake skirt. The blonde girl is her best friend, Ino. Who…uh, I guess she's my friend too. Well, maybe more of an acquaintance? Hm. Or not. I dunno. I usually think of pretty much everyone who's hung out with me a friend on some level."

"You're ranting."

"Ah ha, am I? Guess I might be a bit nervous. It's been awhile since I've seen her. Not since before my date with Hinata."

"I see."

"We broke up before I moved in with you. About…three weeks before? Almost a month before."

"It's not really any of my business, Naruto."

"I know, but I just…want to tell you. It'd be nice if we knew stuff about each other, right?"

"Hn."

"What about you? Any exes?" Naruto's heart began beating faster as he asked the question, suddenly more nervous now than with Sakura, but also just…very curious.

He tried not to think about his dream.

"No. No exes. I've never dated."

"Really? You've…never been on a date?"

"No."

"Oh…so…um…" Naruto fidgeted. He'd thought Sasuke would say he'd had a boyfriend at least once. Throughout all their time together, sexuality never really came up. Sasuke never checked anyone out around him or talked about that part of his life at all. Naruto knew it was none of his business, but he also felt bad for knowing without Sasuke knowing that…he knew?

He just wanted it out in the open.

"If you have something to say, say it," Sasuke said in an almost stern voice.

Naruto had to look down at his ice cream, not able to look at him as he said it for some reason.

With his voice low in case someone walked by, he said, "I just…I don't know how to say it? Just that I…I know. That you…like men? Suigetsu told me."

And then he wanted to smack himself . He felt like he'd just tattled.

When Sasuke didn't say anything, Naruto slowly looked up from his melted ice cream and at Sasuke, who thankfully didn't look upset. He didn't look…well…anything, actually. His face was still so unreadable to him. He looked like he didn't care at all though.

"I see. Suigetsu has a big mouth."

"That's an understatement," Naruto grumbled. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to rat your…er, ex roommate out." Naruto didn't feel comfortable referring to Suigetsu as Sasuke's friend. "I just…it felt weird to keep it from you. That I…know."

"I see. And? Does it bother you?"

"No!" Naruto said quickly and a little too loudly. "I just…no. It doesn't bother me. Of course it doesn't bother me."

"Did he say anything else? You look rather…uncomfortable."

"Er, I don't want to gossip."

"It's fine. It's not as if I'm upset with him."

"Why not?" Naruto straightened. "I was upset with him when he told me all that shit. It wasn't his place and…it's really not even my business."

"No. It really isn't." Sasuke sighed and leaned back in his chair. "This isn't a conversation I thought would come up while just getting ice cream."

"But you're not mad, right?"

"No. I…can't really seem to care."

"If I asked you some things, would you answer them?"

"You always ask me that."

"Because I wanna know more about you."

"Fine. Ask away."

"Umm…I don't really know where to start," Naruto admittedly, chuckling almost nervously and rubbing the back of his neck. "I've never had a friend who was gay. Er, you are gay, right? Or do you like women too?"

"No. Just men. Sometimes."

"Sometimes?"

"I don't go out of my way for them, but opportunities were presented to me at times. Most times I refused, sometimes I didn't."

"Have you ever…uh…" Naruto made a vague hand gesture. "Bottomed?"

"I have."

Why was his heart starting to beat faster?

"Did it hurt?"

"It…depends on which time we're talking about. The first man I went that far with didn't really know what he was doing. I didn't either, really. It wasn't the most pleasant experience, but the last man I slept with…it wasn't bad."

Sasuke spoke of sex in a way he'd never heard before. He seemed almost disinterested, or like he was brushing it all aside, as if none of it mattered. Naruto wasn't sure how he felt about that, or this whole thing in general. His heart had a strange ache, but he also felt a bit uncomfortable.

"What about you?"

"Me?"

"You're straight?"

Now Naruto's heart was _really_ going crazy.

But that was the question, wasn't it?

Instead of answering, he asked, "Do I not seem straight?"

"Who's to say?"

He really didn't want to talk about it, so instead he switched it around.

"You sound…weird when you talk about it, like it doesn't matter to you. Sex, I mean."

"It doesn't."

"At all? You never loved anyone you had sex with?"

"No. Love and sex have nothing to do with each other," Sasuke said, and there was something about his voice that made Naruto think there was something there, but he didn't say any more on the subject.

"For me there is. I need there to be emotion when I'm having sex. I like feeling something for the person I'm with." Although, thinking back to his sex life with Sakura, it had been nothing but awkward in the beginning. And there was…a lot that he wanted to do or try that she wouldn't. Naruto liked to play in every aspect, and he would have liked for sex to be more playful, but Sakura was against sex games and got annoyed when he got mischievous. They just…hadn't fit in that area. But he had heard jokes from other men about how they weren't completely fulfilled sexually, so he had thought it was normal and didn't think much on it. Now he wondered if that was really true.

And as for the emotional aspect with Sakura…Naruto wondered. He wasn't really sure how to feel there. He had loved her and had wanted to make her feel good, to please her, but he wondered if he was more in love with the idea…than he was in love with her.

He didn't know.

"Well, it was mutual for me. I didn't love the people I had sex with, and they certainly didn't love me either."

"I see." Naruto felt down suddenly, but he wasn't sure why. This entire day was nothing but confusing for him, from the very start with his dream, and now all this talk about sex… It was almost making him tired, but he couldn't stop himself from being curious about Sasuke and all that makes up who he is. "Have you ever been with a woman before?"

"Not fully, but I might have fooled around with one once. I wasn't sober."

"Really? I've never seen you drink though."

"I don't go out of my way to buy alcohol, but when it was offered to me, I indulged in it. I was fifteen, and I was avoiding going home. I didn't want to think about anything. An older girl, a senior I believe, offered me some. She had gotten some from her older sister and we got drunk in her car, then she started kissing me and I just…didn't care enough to stop her. I let her do as she pleased."

Naruto frowned. "That doesn't sound…very…"

Sasuke shrugged. "I was used to it."

Naruto wasn't ready for the sting in his chest or discomfort in his stomach from that admission. He could tell Sasuke regretted revealing that much, as well, as he became very still and looked away from him.

Sasuke…had never been this open with him in all the time they'd spent together over the summer. On one hand Naruto was ecstatic for getting to learn more about him, but on another hand he felt that he had been told something important today, something he wouldn't forget but shouldn't press at. It was just a gut feeling, telling him that something wasn't right about what he'd just heard.

"Are you done with your ice cream?" Sasuke asked, still not looking at him. His eyebrows were furrowed now and he looked…like he was thinking about something Naruto may never know.

Naruto had never wished to be a mind reader before meeting Sasuke, but now that was the one superpower he really wished he had.

Then again, Sasuke might hate him if he invaded his private thoughts like that, so maybe not…

"Yeah, I'm done."

The atmosphere after that was different. Despite it still feeling good outside, there was tension there. He decided to make it his goal for the rest of the day to get rid of it. As he threw away his ice cream cup and Sasuke's bowl of soup, Sasuke waited for him. He happened look inside and saw that Sakura and Ino were gone.

Huh, he hadn't noticed.

He turned back to Sasuke and asked, "Do you wanna go walk by the water?"

"I'd…rather not."

Sasuke still wasn't looking at him.

"Alright. Well…oh! How about this one park? I can drive us there!"

"A park?"

"Yeah! I'll totally pay for gas. There's also a little trail by it that I like going in. There's another trail I like way better, but that's too much walking. Like…hours. So maybe another time I'll take you there."He was practically beaming at the suggestion. It was his favorite trail to walk down and had such beautiful scenery he wanted to show Sasuke. One day.

Sasuke still looked uncertain, but he agreed. "Alright."

"Cool. Let's go home then so I can drive us to the park!"

He was gonna make sure they had a good day!

**~*S*~**

The walk back to the apartment was mostly quiet, with Sasuke berating himself for having such a loose tongue.

And he had called Suigetsu a big mouth.

Ironic.

He wasn't sure why he had felt so…talkative. Maybe it was because he hadn't been expecting Naruto to treat him, maybe it was because he was genuinely grateful for it, or maybe it was because he was just so unused to it that it caused him to drop his guard for a bit.

It had been such a nice walk there and Naruto was…so easy to talk to it was aggravating. He had admittedly felt…comfortable, at least for awhile.

It was awkward and uncomfortable when his ex showed up. Sasuke had admittedly looked at her, wondering what type of women Naruto preferred. He had wondered the same when he went out with Hinata. Was she as girly looking as his ex was? His ex seemed pleasant enough, was Hinata the same? Did Naruto like well mannered women? He certainly didn't seem to mind his friends being mannered or not, since he was so interested in being friends with Sasuke, but…what were his other friends like?

What kind of people did Naruto find himself drawn to?

Why…was he hanging around Sasuke if he had more pleasant people in his life?

At least his ex and her friend hadn't stuck around, he thought selfishly. That wouldn't have been very enjoyable for him, especially since his ex's friend was eying him up.

When they got to the car, Naruto seemed in better spirits. Sasuke let him drive, since he didn't know where they were going. He…kind of liked it. Usually Sasuke wasn't comfortable with other people at the wheel, but with Naruto he didn't seem to mind at all and would sometimes ask him to drive when they went grocery shopping. He looked out of the window at the trees and houses they passed by.

He regretted letting so much slip earlier, but he didn't regret coming out with Naruto. Perhaps he should. He knew that if he had gone out with Naruto at the other times, he probably would have.

_I'm tired of being locked up alone, _was the selfish thought that came to mind. A thought he didn't want to acknowledge or give in to, but couldn't deny that he had. He was truly indulging himself.

He didn't feel lonely when Naruto was around.

Ever since he told Naruto he'd be his friend, he hadn't felt lonely every day anymore. There were still moments, but then Naruto would come around again and he could breathe.

It…was probably best to not think on it too much.

He wished he could just turn his mind off. Usually it was so he wasn't plagued with unpleasant memories, now it was because he didn't want to have doubts. He didn't want to hesitant or to do things half assed. It was his choice that brought him out to spend time with Naruto and he was going to stick to it regardless of whether he should or not.

That was what he had decided for himself. It was tiring to do otherwise.

When he and Naruto got to the park it was fairly small. There were a set of swings, a basketball hoop, and…not really much else. There was a bath in front of the swings that was surrounded by trees. He doubted it went very far though since they were still in the city and there were houses all around.

They got out of the car and Naruto immediately went to the swings.

"Seriously?" Sasuke raised an eyebrow.

"Fuck yeah! I love the swings!"

"Hn." Naruto seemed…weirdly giddy as he kicked his legs and took off. Sasuke sat on the swing next to his, but didn't do much other than lightly sway back and forth. "You're sure in a good mood suddenly."

Naruto was smiling widely.

"I am!"

"Even though you just bumped into your ex?"

"Yep!" Naruto chirped without hesitation.

Sasuke looked ahead. "I thought you wanted to walk along the path."

"Oh yeah! I do, but I wanna swing first. Hey, you think if I jumped I could grab that branch?"

There was a tree in front of the swings, but it none of its branches reached very close to them.

"I _highly_ doubt it, unless you've suddenly become bitten by a radioactive spider."

"Ah, that'd be _cool_!"

"Cool that you'd have to wear a costume that rides up your butt," Sasuke joked, then almost froze. The atmosphere felt surprisingly…light suddenly. It was almost uncomfortable. Luckily Naruto didn't keep quiet long enough for his mind to focus on it.

"Ha! Right. Hey, I was thinkin' about super powers earlier and…what kind would you want?"

"The power to turn back time…" Sasuke said softly, looking at the tree Naruto wanted to grab onto.

"Huh? What'd you say? I couldn't hear you?"

"Nothing. I don't know."

Naruto slowed down in his swinging. Sasuke could feel Naruto watching him, so he turned to face him.

"You know, I wouldn't mind going out more. I kinda wish I had brought a basketball and we could've shot some hoops. I used to be really into sports in high school. I loved being active and runnin' around. What about you?"

"I was never into sports, but I used to go for long runs in high school."

"But no track?"

"I didn't want to spend any more time in school than necessary."

"Ah, I see." Naruto got off the swing. "Ready to walk the trail? It's not very long, but there's some stuff to amuse us for a bit in there."

"Alright." Sasuke stood up and followed him into the trail.

**~*N*~**

The trail was just a decent sized circle. There was a part the trailed off in another direction but it just led to the road and wasn't long at all.

"When I was a kid I used to love climbing trees. I was…a bit weird. I used to spend so much time climbing them and when someone jokingly called me a monkey I made monkey noises at them."

"That doesn't surprise me."

Naruto chuckled. "Yeah. I was probably a weird kid."

"Was?"

To Naruto's surprise, Sasuke smirked at him.

He looked away from Sasuke, unsure of why his cheeks felt almost…warm?

Luckily his mind quickly got distracted by a tree that had fallen down.

"Ah, we should play on that!"

He ran over to the tree and got on top of it. It wasn't he most steady and was a fair amount off the ground even though it had fallen over. It went up a bit so if he fell off he might hurt himself a bit. Nothing life threatening though, so with his arms out he slowly moved his way up the tree.

"You know if you fall those branches might fuck you up a bit? A shame you don't have Deadpool's healing properties."

Naruto smiled widely, for some reason he was happy someone made a superhero reference to him.

"I'll be fine. If I did fall though, would you rush me to the hospital and take care of me?"

"I doubt you'd need a hospital trip. But I suppose if I had to I would. I need you for rent and bills after all."

"Ha! I see. That's all I'm good for huh?" Naruto looked back at him to grin, but doing so almost made him lose his balance.

"Careful idiot!" Sasuke chided as he tried to steady himself. He lowered himself down to the trunk and realized he'd probably get scratched up a bit by the branches if he jumped down from there, the branches leafless and some broken, so he carefully moved back and off.

"Well…that wasn't nearly as fun as I hoped."

"You were hoping for a fallen tree to be fun?"

"Well, this shit was awesome when I was a kid!"

"That's because kids are easily amused. I'm sure that went double for you."

"I think I should be offended?"

They walked through the path and even passed by a small wooden bridge that went over some dirty looking water.

"I like bein' on bridges," Naruto commented. Sasuke didn't answer him, but that was okay. He felt good. The atmosphere between them was nice again. He felt so calm walking next to Sasuke, calmer than he'd felt in a long time. It was strange that someone who could bring out so much anxiety, confusion, and uncertainty in him could also make him feel this way. But things had been nice between them lately. Most of his free time throughout all of August was spent with Sasuke and little by little, he loosened up a fraction more.

Of course they still bickered and Sasuke could still be a moody asshole, but that was okay. Sasuke wasn't perfect, neither was Naruto, and at least their friendship was growing. And on days like this, where Sasuke let him know even a fraction more about him, Naruto couldn't help but feel ecstatic.

He wondered about all that he would know about Sasuke in a year.

They would still be friends, right?

Well, Sasuke would still be Naruto's friend, of that he was certain.

He took in a deep breath and stretched his arms. When he looked over at Sasuke, he was watching him.

"Yeah?"

"You look happy," Sasuke noted.

"I am." He put his arms down and his hand brushed against Sasuke's, and he was surprised at how much he wanted to grab it, which momentarily shut up him.

He just…missed it, was all. He hadn't held someone's hand since before Sakura broke up with him.

Before he did something weird, he shoved his hands in his pockets. He doubted Sasuke would appreciate him grabbing his hand.

They walked the rest of the trail in a comfortable silence, which was odd. With his other friends and with Sakura, he felt like he had to keep talking and entertaining. He'd never felt comfortable being quiet with anyone before, except maybe Iruka on occasion, but with Sasuke it was different. But he couldn't yet put it into words.

"This is nice," he commented as they neared the entrance, having walked the circled path. "I hope we can come out some more."

He didn't expect Sasuke to answer so quickly, but for once he didn't keep him waiting.

"Alright."

"Really?"

"It was…" Sasuke inhaled deeply. "A good day."

Naruto fisted his hands in his pockets and smiled at him.

"It was."

He really wanted to squeeze his hand. Instead he bumped into his shoulder as they walked back to the car.

"What was that?"

"Affection. You might be unfamiliar with it, but it's this thing some people show to their loved ones."

Sasuke looked so shocked at that, but Naruto didn't know why.

"What? Did I say somethin' weird? Or are you just that surprised affection exists?"

"…I'll drive us home."

Naruto gave him his keys without argument, as well as some gas money so they could get some on the way back. Naruto watched the park as they left, hoping that Sasuke was serious about spending more time outside.

This had been the best day of his entire summer, after all, and it was right at the end of it.

* * *

This chapter went on longer than I thought it would. For some reason I forgot I had another scene after the ice cream place lol. This chapter was very much a building up Naruto and Sasuke's friendship (and also getting Naruto to see Sakura). I hope you had fun reading about them spending the day together! Keep in mind that this is also after over a month of just chilling together at the apartment, so in a way it's also showing you where they are now in their friendship after the time skip. ^_^

Thank you for the reviews **berry5tz**, **the Moon our Witness**, and **Lady Spain**!

**berry5tz:** Dude you review so fast! It's great :D! Also the mental image of Snoopy is so adorable! Sasuke's past has a lot of layers to it and they're all…not good lol. I gave a hint as to _another_ layer outside of his family in this chapter as well. Little by little we're peeling his character back and getting a better look at him. It's fun for me to plan and to write. I worry that it was a bit soon to hint at this other layer of his past, but I gotta start dropping hints or else it'll really feel sudden and out of nowhere when it pops up. And ofc, I map out all of my fics. I'm also plotting for a NaruSasu nanowrimo fic which I'll do next month and am SUPER excited for. ;3

**the Moon our Witness:** Naruto definitely wouldn't have opened up about his issues with Sasuke if they weren't taking over his mind. You can see in that chapter that Naruto is starting to think of Sasuke a lot more than he used to, which is to say something as he thought about him quite often before now. ^_^; Sasuke does think he deserves nothing, nothing good anyway, but he is also helplessly drawn to Naruto and is acting impulsively. It's almost like a yolo thing at this point, where he just goes "fuck it" and does things on impulse as he tosses his thoughts out the window long enough to do it.


	13. Getting Some Closure

**To Love and be Loved**

Chapter 13: Getting Some Closure

Pairings: Eventual NarutoxSasuke, past NarutoxSakura

Rating: M as of now kittens!

Warning: Past NaruSaku talk. I don't know if you guys need a warning for that, but there it is.

Author's Note: Another Naruto-centric chapter. And now this is the longest one of the story. XD; It really didn't want to end.

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.

**~*N*~**

The air was crisp. It was nearing the end of September now and after a couple of days of rain the temperature dropped down (though it would go back up in a few days before dropping again). Despite this, however, Naruto was sweating and heaving as he aimed for the end of the block, after running for who knows how long. As soon as he got to the end, he practically tumbled into the grass, sitting on his butt and looking up at Sasuke, who was right behind him, except Sasuke stayed standing. It would have annoyed him, but Sasuke was at least panting and sweating too, doubled over with his hands on his knees.

"Fuck I'm out of shape," Naruto heaved.

The whole thing started when Naruto woke up this morning and realized he was getting a little pudgy. He hadn't been eating well at all and hadn't worked out in _awhile_, so he decided to go for a run and asked Sasuke to come as well. At first he had refused, of course, and Naruto had lost his drive and was going to spend the day on the couch eating Doritos, but then Sasuke appeared and said, _"Are we going running or not?"_ and promptly left the apartment, leaving Naruto to scramble after him.

"_I thought you said you didn't want to go!"_

"_I changed my mind."_

"_You always do thaaaaat."_

"No surprise there," Sasuke said, straightening up.

"Shut up. You're breathing just as hard as me right now."

"At least I'm not sitting in the dirt."

"Maaah. I think I'm done running for today. Carry me back to the apartment."

"Carry yourself," Sasuke smirked.

"Psh, fine." Naruto held his hand up. "Help me up."

Sasuke seemed to hesitate, but then reached down and took his hand, pulling him up from the ground.

His legs felt a bit wobbly and weak, and he really hated that.

"I think my goal for the rest of the year is to get back in shape, shit."

"Not going to wait until New Year's to make that empty promise?"

Naruto squinted at him. "You're in a good mood today."

Sasuke shrugged.

"Maybe all this running made you giddy. Sakura used to work out whenever she was upset and always felt really good afterwards. All those hormones."

"Endorphins."

"Yeah. Those."

"I'll admit it does…feel nice. I haven't run in a long time."

"Which is why you're so winded." Naruto grinned. "Face it. You're as out of shape as me."

"At least I eat better," Sasuke said, almost defensively.

"Meh, well, wanna stop somewhere and get food? I'm starving now. I kinda want Taco Bell."

"So you're going to undo all the work we did just now?"

"Fine, fine. No fast food, but let's get breakfast somewhere."

"It's past eleven. Almost everywhere would be done with breakfast by now, unless you want to go to Denny's."

"Nah, not there, but I like the idea of goin' somewhere cheap, so I can treat!"

He noticed Sasuke tense a bit out of the corner of his eye.

"You don't have to treat me. I can…I don't need your pity."

Apparently his good mood could only last so long.

"It's not pity! I _like_ treating my friends!"Without thinking, Naruto bumped his shoulder into him, and was almost taken aback with how nice the familiar gesture felt. He wanted to do it again, but restrained himself. "So let me treat you?"

"Aren't you going out later with your ex? Maybe you should save the money."

Naruto laughed nervously, not wanting to think too much on it.

"No, Sakura sent me a text and said we're not going to a restaurant or anything. She wants us to meet up at the park and talk."

"The park we went to last week?"

"No, a bigger park this time. It's at my elementary school. On tenth street? Where did you go to school, by the way? I don't think we ever went to school together."

"No."

"Too bad. It would've been fun to get into trouble with you."

"And did you get into trouble with your ex? You two have known each other a long time I assume?"

"Yeah, since elementary. We weren't friends right when we first met, but then I stood up for her when she was gettin' bullied. She used to be super shy and only talked to her friend Ino, who usually stood up for her, but Ino had stayed home sick that day."

"So you beat up her bully and then became friends?"

"Ha! I wish. Nah, I got my ass kicked. I was kind of a scrawny kid, but yeah, we became friends after that. Not that we hung out often, cause Ino was still her best friend, but we hung out sometimes. People used to tease me about likin' her all the time, so much that I wondered if it was true."

"But then you dated her."

Naruto nodded. "It..." _was a mistake_, but for some reason Naruto couldn't say those words aloud. The words kind of hurt to admit to someone other than himself. "It just wasn't meant to be," he said instead.

Sasuke didn't say anything to that, and Naruto wondered why he'd asked at all. Sasuke never showed much interest in his life outside of their friendship. He still didn't ask him anything about his upbringing or family. Not that Naruto minded being asked, in fact, it was kind of nice. He liked when Sasuke showed any kind of interest in him or the things he was interested in. It made him feel…kind of special in a way, especially since Suigetsu made it seem like Sasuke had never done such a thing before with anyone else.

The rest of the walk was mostly silent, but it was a comfortable silence.

**~*N*~**

They got home and Naruto let Sasuke shower first. As he waited, he went into his bedroom. Now alone, he couldn't stop his thoughts from straying to Sakura. They were meeting around 3:30pm and…he was a bit nervous. What would they talk about? Their break up? He couldn't deny that there were some things he wanted to ask her. Or maybe they were just going to get straight into being friends again? Were they ready for that? It had been months since their break up and Naruto wasn't interested in getting back together, so why not?

And Sakura…she liked someone else now, didn't she?

Naruto felt a bit uncomfortable at that, but also curious.

It…wasn't long after they broke up when he heard of that so…

How long? How long had she been interested in someone else?

Could he ask her?

His thoughts then strayed to their past, back to when they were in elementary. They became friends when he was six years old, just a little before his seventh birthday, though he swore he had her in his kindergarten class, they just hadn't hung out. Naruto hadn't hung out with anyone before her, really. When he had finally made a friend in Sakura, he had cherished that friendship so much. Whenever Sakura gave him a gift, he swore to himself that he'd keep it forever.

With that thought in mind, he looked toward his closet, where he put a box of things Sakura had given him. He went to drag the box out of the closet and opened it up. There was his fox stuffed animal, which he put in his lap as he sat cross legged in front of the box. He took out a picture of Sakura that he had drawn. It was…pretty bad, in his opinion, and Sakura had blushed after he drew it and asked if her face really looked like that to him, which made him feel awkward. Honestly, Sakura was probably just embarrassed he wanted to draw her. She most _definitely_ wouldn't ever let him draw her naked. He had asked her once and she made it clear that would never happen. Sakura had come out of her shell in a lot of ways throughout the years he knew her, but she was still shy about certain things.

Next he pulled out a painting she had done for him. It was a picture of a sunny sky, with fluffy white clouds and the sun smiling brightly and the words: _"You are my sunshine"_ with a heart underneath it, written in a mix of pink and orange. It was the title of a song she liked to sing around the time she picked up painting (temporarily).

Naruto's heart ached a bit at seeing it, remembering a time when he was spending the night with her when her parents were out of town. They were nineteen and he came into the kitchen to her making pancakes for them and humming the song. She had been wearing his shirt from the precious day and only that. He also remembered them having sex again not long after she noticed him standing there watching her. He remembered her sitting on the table and spreading her legs for him as he got down on his knees and – well.

It had been the night after they had sex for the first time. Sakura had been a virgin before him, and wanted her first time to be special and meaningful.

Had it been that way for her? Did she regret it?

Naruto…at first he regretted it all, the entire relationship. But did he really? In a way he felt that he had not only risked such an important friendship, but had also wasted both of their time. Now that he had time away from her and the relationship, he didn't know how to feel about anything anymore. Even when he thought back to them having sex, he wasn't sure how to feel. He remembered being aroused then, he remembered enjoying the sex, especially at the beginning, and he remembered masturbating to the memory, but that…all felt so long ago, like in another life.

Strange that…remembering sex with Sakura wasn't an arousing memory for him anymore.

Maybe it wasn't right to regret it though, because for Sakura it had been such a significant thing to her. She strongly connected sex to love and…so did Naruto. In a way, because of that, regrets or not, it had been special to him.

Had he been special to her?

Naruto couldn't deny that that was what he'd been looking for, to be special to someone. He had grown up…never being number one to anyone, in the end, he wasn't even number one to Sakura. It was a selfish desire, but it was the desire of a boy who grew up with no family, who grew up in a shitty foster care before getting taken in by men who definitely cared for him, but who still had people and other things come first.

Whenever Naruto was in a relationship, he prioritized the person he was with and gave them the number one spot in that area of his life…because he wanted them to do the same for him. Even right at the start of the relationship, which may not have been smart, but it was the type of relationship he wanted and he tended to go all out.

He remembered…when he and Sakura had started dating, he had even whipped out the L-word on the first day. Sakura had looked at him in shock, and he regretted saying it right away. Even though he had confessed to her before they had even started dating, it felt different once they had started, like it carried more weight. She hadn't said it back right away, and Naruto had wondered if he shouldn't have said it, but then she returned it the next week, blushing and looking rather shy. Naruto remembered being struck as well, wondering if she was really saying it and if she was being honest.

Years later and he still wasn't sure.

He heard Sasuke close the bathroom door, his bedroom door still open. For some reason, he didn't want Sasuke to see him with a box of things from his ex. He didn't want to explain anything or to make it seem a certain way.

Even though…Sasuke probably wouldn't say anything about it.

But then he had asked earlier.

After he closed the door and leaned his forehead against it, Naruto remembered Sasuke saying he'd never had relationships with anyone before. He wondered if he preferred it that way or if he had ever longed for something more than what he had apparently had.

He also remembered his little slip about the girl who he'd let do things to him. It…hurt to think about. When he thought about how it hurt, he kind of wanted to grab Sasuke and…shake him or hug him, or both. He wondered what Sasuke's sexual experiences had been like, that he hadn't cared if someone fooled around with him regardless of his own wants or desires. Sasuke didn't connect sex to love, but that wasn't unusual. A few of his friends didn't, but…none of his friends had admitted to letting people do things to them despite not having a desire for it.

The difference in Sasuke's experience with sex in comparison to his own…Naruto had a hard time wrapping his head around it. He couldn't imagine ever letting anyone touch him if he didn't want them to, or being okay with it, but were those Sasuke's true feelings, or was he just covering what he truly thought and felt up?

These last few months with Sasuke had been a bit eye opening for Naruto. Sasuke had always struck him as very lonely, but now he was sure…that he really was alone.

Except now he had Naruto, and Naruto wasn't going to let his friend be alone anymore.

He _wouldn't_.

Feeling determined, he packed the box back up and shoved it back in the closet. He went to take his shower and tried his best to keep his mind empty and keep it quick so they could go out for food and have a good time together before he had to go and see Sakura.

**~*N*~**

Naruto took them to a café downtown, driving them there in Sasuke's car. Weird how he was already getting used to driving it. Sasuke sat quietly next to him, in a long sleeved black shirt and jeans. The shirt fit him rather well, and Naruto realized that Sasuke often wore black or blue shirts, and he had never seen him in light colors.

When they went inside, they decided to go upstairs and sit at a small table for two by the glass sliding doors that led out to a balcony. Normally Naruto loved being out there, but it was a bit windy and chilly so he opted to just sit near it. He liked being by windows when he went out to eat.

While Naruto reached for the menu, he said, "It's too bad it's already so late. I love breakfast food. Pancakes are like, the best thing ever." Naruto leaned back in his chair. "I'm assuming eggs are your favorite breakfast food, since you eat them so much?"

"I do like eggs."

"I like omelets, I guess. Ah, the omelets at this one pancake place I like are the best. It's not in town though. I only went there once, technically, but they baked their omelets and…yeah, it was pretty fucking good. Do you like omelets?"

"I like rice omelets. My…my mother used to make them for lunch."

Naruto's heart almost started racing at the mention of his mother, something Sasuke scarcely talked about.

"Rice omelets?"

"It's just an easy Japanese dish."

Naruto waited to see if Sasuke was going to add to that, but that seemed to be all he was willing to say.

"I've never seen you make anything like that."

Sasuke shrugged. "I don't have a rice cooker, and I refuse to eat minute rice."

"We should go to the pancake place I like sometime and you can try their omelets, when we can afford it. Ah, speaking of…I was thinkin' of getting Netflix, so that we could get rid of the cable. We'd save some money that way, right?"

Sasuke paused while looking over the menu, then looked up at him with his eyebrows furrowed.

"I enjoy the noise of cable."

"I can get a cord to hook my laptop up to the TV and we can watch stuff like that. And you can watch my movies whenever you want. I…" Naruto put the menu down, already knowing what he wanted. "I thought you'd be happy to get rid of the cable, since it's kinda expensive."

Sasuke seemed to be contemplating, but soon after the waiter came to take their order. Sasuke just got water and a baked potato with butter, sour cream, and green onions. Naruto got a baked potato with everything: bacon, cheese sauce, sour cream, green onions, and a bowl of chili on the side which he planned to smother his potato in, and a chocolate flavored coffee.

"I see you're determined to make that run for nothing," Sasuke commented when the waiter left.

"Whatever. Your potato's gonna be super boring and mine will be amazingly _awesome_." Naruto grinned. "Like me."

Sasuke rolled his eyes and drank from his water. Naruto ended up talking his ear off about a Batman comic he had finally got the time to read (HUSH) and how he wanted Sasuke to read it. By the time he was done, the waiter had come with his coffee and Naruto proceeded to pour packets of sugar into it.

"I hate the taste of coffee, but I love the caffeine," Naruto commented when Sasuke gave him an odd look.

"I just hate coffee."

"But you love tea, right? You should have gotten some."

"I have tea at home to use. Water is fine."

_Water is free_, Sasuke didn't say, but Naruto just knew that was what he was thinking. He had to bite his lip to stop himself from offering to get him some.

He just had this strange urge to…take care of him for some reason.

It was a bit weird, even to him, and something he just couldn't explain.

Just as he was about to say something else, his phone vibrated in his pocket. Wondering if it was Sakura (maybe she decided against meeting him after all) he went to pick it up.

"Sorry, just wanna see who it is."

"I don't mind," Sasuke said as he drank from his water.

But it wasn't Sakura, it was Iruka.

_I'm sorry it's been awhile since I checked in. I was out of town this summer. Why haven't you returned my calls? I hope you're doing well and staying out of trouble._

"It was Iruka," he told Sasuke, frowning at his phone. Then, almost right after he got the text, his phone started vibrating again to show that Iruka was calling. "Why text if you're just going to call right after?" Naruto said, laughing a little, but then put it on silent and put it back in his pocket.

"You're not going to answer?"

"I'm out with you. I wanna talk to you."Naruto smiled. "It's fine. I'll text him back tonight. It shouldn't be a big deal." He sighed. "Though I have to leave right after we go home. It seems every time we get a day to hang out, we get interrupted or I always gotta go somewhere else."

"Maybe we're just not meant to spend time together."

Naruto couldn't ignore the sting in his chest at that.

"Why would you _say_ that?"

Sasuke just shrugged.

"You know what you're problem is, you're too cynical. You could have even come with me when I go places a lot of the time, but you always refuse."

"I don't want to spend time with your friends," Sasuke drawled, as if repeating a rehearsed line he was bored of.

Just then, their food came. Naruto was glad for the distraction and also…well, just for the food. He wasn't sure how Sasuke could eat such a sad, boring looking potato. After Naruto poured his small bowl of chili on his potato, he crumbled the crackers they gave him on top and then added salt and pepper.

"Want any?" he asked as he passed the salt and pepper to him, which Sasuke used, but only barely. "I don't know how you can eat that. Does it even have any flavor?"

"Of course it does," Sasuke said, as if he thought Naruto was stupid for asking. "What about you? You sure there's even a potato under all of that? You can't even see it anymore."

"Because I slathered it in yummy goodness."

Sasuke just shook his head.

"Hey, do you wanna hang out after I get home? We can play…hmmm. Not Sonic. I'm getting' tired of playin' that. Maybe…Zelda? You can help me win the horse from Ocarina of Time. I hate racing that cheater."

"I suppose that would be fine."

"Pfft. You _suppose_?"

They fell into a light banter after that, talking about games Naruto still wanted them to play and more movies to watch.

"You've _never_ seen Harry Potter?"

Naruto just about dropped his fork.

"I saw the second one in theaters, but that was it. Our class took a field trip there, but I was thinking of something else at the time, so I couldn't focus. I can't say I remember much of anything from it, as it was also ten or so years ago."

"Oh, like what?"

"I'd rather not talk about it."

"Hmm, alright. Well, I have the movies, so we should watch them together. Ah, we should have a Harry Potter marathon! I wonder what house you'd be. I should make you take the quiz. I'm Gryffindor, of course. I bet you'd be Slytherin, which would make us rivals!"

"I can't see myself losing to you in terms of school."

Naruto leaned back and squinted. "Yeah. Definitely a Slytherin."

"Hn."

They continued to talk until it was time to leave, Naruto felt rather…reluctant to end his time with Sasuke, and the closer the time came to see Sakura, the more nervous he felt. He couldn't help but fidget, so Sasuke drove them home. When they got there, Sasuke said he could use the car to drive to the park, which Naruto was thankful for. He watched Sasuke when he got out, slipping over to the driver's side, and watched him disappear into the apartment.

His heart kinda ached a bit, which didn't mix well with his nerves.

At least when he started driving, he tried to keep his mind on not running into anything instead of…everything else. From his growing friendship with Sasuke, to his fading friendship with Sakura.

_Just focus on the road._

**~*S*~**

After Sasuke got home, he really didn't have anything else to do. It was strange. The apartment had always felt cold and empty, but it had been awhile. He had become used to Naruto's warm presence filling up the place. The little noises from him moving around the apartment, the sound of him playing a game and cussing out villains when they killed him in his Final Fantasy games or Zelda.

Now Sasuke was trying to ignore the slight ache he felt at Naruto's absence.

Stupid. Naruto had other people in his life, unlike Sasuke, so of course he couldn't spend every day with him.

Sasuke thought back to his old roommate, if only because he had known him before they moved in together. He hadn't told Naruto, but Suigetsu had been in his first foster home with him, along with three others – Juugo and Suigetsu's girlfriend being two of them.

He thought of Juugo, how the man had crushed on him since they were teenagers. Sasuke knew this. He knew how Juugo felt about him, but he hadn't taken it seriously at all. Juugo, Suigetsu, and Karin sometimes acted familiar with him, as if they were friends, but Sasuke never truly considered them as friends. They were acquaintances for him and friends to each other. He never referred to Juugo as his friend, only Suigetsu's and Karin's, and it was the same with them.

Suigetsu liked Sasuke for reasons unknown to him, since they differed so much in personality that they made very unlikely friends. Karin had crushed on him more obviously than Juugo, which got annoying. Thinking of Naruto's story with his ex, of saving her from being bullied, reminded him of her. Once in middle school he had done something similar for Karin, not that he had done it intentionally. Karin was being picked on and Sasuke got dragged into it and, well, took care of it (which earned him a suspension, but hell if he cared), and he couldn't shake the girl off him for several years after, not until just a few years ago when she started dating Suigetsu.

Juugo had been infatuated with him when he realized Sasuke wasn't afraid of him. Juugo had a terrible temper and got suspended for fights _often_. Suigetsu often told Sasuke to steer clear of him and even Karin was afraid of him, but Sasuke didn't really care. He stood next to him, sat next to him, told him to fuck off when he got mouthy, and stood his ground, which he didn't think much of, but to the others, including Juugo, it was a feat worth praising. Juugo had persistently stayed near him for a long while after that, at least until Sasuke got an itch that he decided to let Juugo scratch. He was available and willing, after all. It wasn't as if he had led Juugo astray though, the other man knew he hadn't wanted a relationship. Had Juugo thought that would magically change just because Sasuke let him fuck him? Now he hadn't heard from Juugo in…awhile. Like most, he turned tail and ran when he saw Sasuke's true colors.

And then there was the fourth…Kabuto. Unlike the others, Kabuto resented Sasuke and as far as he knew, that hadn't changed. He was sure Kabuto blamed him for how things ended, but Sasuke knew otherwise, so it didn't matter.

He had grown up with these people, technically, at least until Kakashi took him in, but they still went to school together. Well, except for Kabuto, for awhile, Sasuke had no idea where he went, only that he came back senior year and kept trying to start shit with him.

His thoughts shifted from them to Naruto, thinking back to what Naruto had said earlier.

What would it have been like if Naruto had gone to school with him?

Perhaps…things might have been different.

But how?

Naruto didn't leave no matter how ugly Sasuke showed him he truly was. For some reason, he instead seemed to be interested in him in a way he wasn't used to. As a friend. As someone who genuinely seemed to enjoy his presence and talk to him, and who seemed to get excited when Sasuke talked as well.

Sasuke sat on the couch and then laid back, staring at the ceiling.

Why was his heart bothering him so much? He wasn't needy or dependant on anyone and that included his roommate. After all, this was just a temporary living situation. Naruto would eventually fall in love with some pretty girl and move in with her and get married and have kids and Sasuke…

Would once again be left alone.

Sasuke bit his lip, inhaling deeply, as the pain that came from that thought was choked him.

When would that happen? The thought of not living with Naruto…of not getting to see him every day, morning and night, it hurt, which really…pissed him off in a way. He was upset with himself for letting himself get so attached to a man who was a temporary presence in his life.

What did he think would happen?

What did he _want_ to happen?

That Naruto would stay with him forever?

_Stupid_.

Maybe Naruto would leave sooner than he thought. He was going to see his ex. Maybe they'd make up, maybe they'd go to her place after and have sex and remember what they had felt for each other.

Why was he getting so annoyed? It didn't concern him. At all.

Not wanting to think about Naruto having sex with his ex or getting back with her, he turned the TV on and went to the bathroom to take some ZzzQuil.

He just wanted to sleep the day away.

**~*N*~**

When Naruto got to the park he noticed Sakura right away. She was sitting at a picnic table, to her right was a green dinosaur set up and in front of her, to her left was another set up with slides and a horizontal ladder and more, and then behind her to the left were the swings and the school itself was behind her. She looked pretty in a vintage mint Delores sleeve swing dress with nude heels. When she saw him, she smiled and waved in greeting and thankfully didn't get up to greet him (as Naruto had no idea how to do so, maybe she didn't either).

He sat across from her on the bench. The weather had warmed up a bit, so Naruto had rolled his sleeves up past his elbows, folding his arms in front of him.

"Hey, how are you?" he asked, not sure what else to say.

"I'm good, thank you." Sakura reached beside her and brought up a pink lunch bag. "I brought us some food to eat out here. It's nothing fancy, just some sandwiches and fruit."

"Thanks," Naruto smiled, feeling awkward.

"No problem. Are you hungry now or…?"

"I actually ate before I came. Didn't know you'd bring food, though I didn't think the potato would fill me up as much as it did."

"Oh, you went to that café you like?"

"Yeah, with my roommate."

Sakura nodded. "Ino seems taken with him. She wanted me to ask you if he was taken."

Well…that was uncomfortable.

"Um, I really don't think he'd be interested. Can't say why, though. Personal."

He wasn't Suigetsu after all.

"That's fine. I told her I'd ask, so…anyway, that's not why I wanted to talk to you. I just…I don't know. It's been so long. This is the longest we've gone without talking." Sakura reached for her lunch box, opening it up. "I'm going to eat some of the fruit, if you don't mind. It'll make it easier if I'm doing something."

"I don't mind. I…uh…don't really know what to say?"

"Me either," she admitted, smiling apologetically at him.

"Well…what's been going on in your life? You're still living with Ino?"

"I am. It's nice. She gossips a lot, but she's trying to cut down a bit on it. I think even she's realizing she has a problem." Sakura giggled as she took a plastic fork and stabbed it into a juicy piece of pineapple. The fruit she brought was a mix of pineapple chunks, red and green grapes, and apple slices. Sakura had always loved fruit, especially strawberries, which he was surprised she hadn't brought, but maybe she was saving those just for herself.

"My roommate really loves tomatoes," Naruto found himself saying.

"Mmm, I like grape tomatoes."

"Yeah, he has those too. He sometimes mixes tomatoes in with his scrambled eggs. It's weird."

"You think anything other than bacon and sausage is weird with eggs," Sakura said in a teasing voice.

"True."

"Are you getting along very well with your roommate then? You guys were out last weekend too."

"We were. I…yeah, we're friends." Naruto felt weird talking about Sasuke to his ex, but he didn't know why. Either way, he wanted to change the subject and hopefully he could control himself and not bring up his roommate, even though Sasuke wouldn't leave the back of his mind for some reason. There was so much that reminded him of Sasuke or made him think of him.

"That's good. Not everyone gets along with their roommate, especially if they start off as strangers. Speaking of people…how are Jiraiya and Iruka?"

"Jiraiya's good. Iruka…I don't know. I haven't talked to him lately." He looked away from Sakura as he said it, feeling a bit guilty.

"No?" Sakura frowned. "That's weird, but he was probably busy with his summer job. He always busies himself over summer with work."

"Yeah." Naruto rubbed the back of his neck. "He went out of town this summer for work. He's back now. He called me a couple of times but I haven't had time to call him back."

"Are you avoiding him?"

Naruto waved his hand dismissively. "It's fine. I'll call him soon. Um, so what about you? Other than Ino, how's it all going?" Naruto thought back to Ino saying she liked someone, but wasn't sure how to bring that up even if he was admittedly curious.

"Hm, good. I still see Shikamaru and Chouji sometimes, of course. I saw Temari, Gaara, and Kankuro when Gaara was in town. I was glad when I heard you guys hung out. You don't get to see Gaara often."

Naruto smiled. "Nope. Now that he's off in college."

"I still see Tsunade," Sakura said and then bit into a slice of apple.

"That's good. You guys got pretty close while we were together."

Sakura nodded. "Mm. She says you haven't been to see her though, I hope…it's not because of me."

It was, but he couldn't say that.

"It's fine. Don't worry about it. I haven't been very good at keeping up with people, but I'll go and see her soon."

"Good. How'd your date go, by the way? You had a date awhile back, right?"

"Yeah, I'm surprised you don't know how it went."

"I don't see Hinata, Kiba, or Shino very often, neither does Ino."

"Ah, well, we just went on one date and then decided at the end to just be friends."

"I see." Sakura's expression became pensive as she played with her fork, twirling it, before finally biting off the red grape at the end, seeming not to say whatever she was going to.

But Naruto had a guess, because he was thinking it too.

"I…I had wondered…what would have happened if we'd done that," he admitted, his heart pounding.

"Naruto." Sakura looked up at him, looking almost pained. "I don't know if it was that simple for us."

"Why not?"

"Weren't we closer? When we got together…it was already serious from day one. I felt that if I were going to take that step, I _had_ to make it last."

"Had to…" Naruto repeated softly. "I…might have felt that way too."

"If you have something you want to ask me…you can. I know that…I ended things rather abruptly. I…I wanted to talk to you about that. It's been on my mind and Sai suggested –"

"_Sai_?" Naruto almost jumped at that, taken aback. "That guy you hate?"

Sakura blushed. "I…no. I don't hate him."

Why was she blushing?

"You complained about him all the time. He was an asshole."

"He had his reasons." Sakura looked away from him. "Anyway, he said, or suggested, that I come and talk to you about it all. I…I feel like we didn't really get much closure, you know?"

"Er, yeah." There was so much he wanted to ask her, but he felt…like a failure when faced with it all. Their relationship was a failure. How did he talk about it? "I don't know what to say."

She met his eyes, her own looking determined, like when they had a fight and she was insistent on making sure it was all talked out.

"Okay. I'll go then. Naruto…I…at the end, I didn't feel as if you were in love with me."

Naruto bristled. "I loved you."

"I know you did." She smiled softly. "I know you loved me. I loved you too, but…I wasn't in love with you, and I don't think you were either. I mean...our last year and a half…maybe more…we weren't…there were a lot of times I thought it should have ended, but it never did. I…I _wanted_ to be in love with you. I wanted it _so_ much. You were _always_ there for me. You were one of my best friends. That's the ideal right? I thought…there's no way I'll find someone who will be there for me like you, who will be as loyal as you…even when we weren't…having sex often or at all anymore, I never once thought or worried about you going to someone else. I just knew you would never do that to me. But I…" Sakura's voice had started to shake and she covered her mouth with her hand, dropping her fork on the table as her eyes started to glisten.

"Sakura…"

"I'm sorry. When we decided to move in together, it all just became so _real_. And the closer the time came to make the move, the worse I felt. I thought…if we do this…we're trapped together. Next we'll get engaged, then married, and…it wasn't even working. I had to do it. I had to let us go." She sniffed and wiped at her eyes with the back of her hand. "I kept trying to get us to talk about it, but there was nothing to talk about. It just wasn't meant to be. And it made me so _miserable_ to think about. The closer that time came, the more depressed I started to get. I know I hid it from you, but I felt sick and unsettled so often. I tried to pretend it wasn't like that, that maybe I was just scared, and I was, but not of taking that step...but of taking the _wrong_ step."

Naruto reached out to touch her wrist. Her hand was clenched tightly in a fist, but she turned her hand over to grab his. She looked at him, her eyes wet.

"I don't want us to miss out on something real, because we were too busy clinging to something that wasn't."

There. It was said. Sakura was biting her lips and he waited for her, to get it all out. She sniffed and wiped at the corners of her eyes with her free hand, her other hand still clutching onto his.

"I feel better now that I said it. Sai said I would."

"Sai…you've gotten…close?" Naruto asked, remembering how she had blushed.

Sakura just nodded. "He…was there for me after we broke up, and we became friends. I learned a lot about him, things I hadn't known before. I feel so stupid…judging him the way I did." Sakura sniffed one more time.

"I heard that…you liked someone…" Naruto paused, not sure if he was pushing the line.

Sakura looked at him in mild surprise and he gave her hand a squeeze.

"Where did you – Ino?"

"Does it matter?"

"Ino's the only one who…when did she tell you?"

"Not long after we broke up. Not even a month."

Sakura frowned. "That's…"

"Is it…Sai?"

Sakura's cheeks became flushed again.

"I…I didn't know if I should say…but…we're…dating now."

"I never knew you liked him," Naruto said, a hint of surprise in his voice. He pulled his hand away from Sakura, his mind going through how she acted around him when they were together. "How long? I mean, did you like him when you were with me?"

"Of course not!" Sakura insisted, looking offended. "Don't turn me into someone I'm not. I wasn't interested in anyone else while we were together. I didn't even _like_ Sai as a friend then. Like I said, it wasn't until after we broke up. Sai saw that I was upset and we started talking. We learned a lot about each other and…and I didn't have a crush on him right away, like Ino kept poking fun at me for. We didn't start dating until a few weeks ago."

Naruto felt relieved at that, but he wasn't sure how he felt about everything else. He…it felt strange to have what he had felt in their relationship reflected back at him.

"It was the same for me," he said. "It never felt right, but I wasn't able to let it go. I had wanted it for _so_ long, and I figured…it was just awkward and weird cause we were friends. I thought we just had to get over that awkward period first. I remember being told that too, though I didn't say anything."

"Shikamaru?"

Naruto nodded. "He just kinda said it, as if he figured it out by…watching us."

"I remember…I used to tense up when you'd grab for my hand."

"Yeah. And I tensed up when you kissed me the first time, but I got used to it. It still felt nice."

Sakura laughed. "I'll take that as a compliment."

"This was nice, right?"

Sakura smiled at him, her eyes no longer wet but still bright and beautiful. "Yes. I'm happy I came. I had a lot I wanted to say. I…don't want you to think I don't like you or that you did anything wrong."

"When you said you loved me…did you mean it?" Naruto blurted, remembering the note in the box. "When I moved I…found a note that said you couldn't wait to move in with me...did you mean that?"

Sakura's smile vanished. "I did mean it when I said I loved you, I just…didn't love you the way I wished I did. It…was heartbreaking in its own way, realizing that I would never feel for you like that, because I wanted to so much. And…as for the note…" Sakura bit her lip, looking at him guiltily. "I honestly thought if I just believed it to be true, if I wished it and wanted it, then it would be. If I acted as if it was real, it would become real."

So that was a no.

"Wonder what would've happened if we had just been honest with each other," Naruto pondered aloud. "I miss bein' friends with you."

"Me too."

"I thought that…if we had just ended it right away like with Hinata…maybe we'd be friends still and not have had to take time apart from each other." His heart ached as he said it, the thing that had been on his mind since they broke up.

"I think…we can be friends again. It's just going to take some time."

Naruto nodded, not sure how he felt about that.

"We have time now. I'm free pretty much all day, if you want to just…hang out. Just give me a minute to finish my fruit." Sakura picked her fork back up and started eating.

"What do you wanna do? I don't wanna stay out too late, though, I told my roommate we'd hang out."

"What's he like? He's very beautiful. Kinda reminds me of Sai. When I first saw him, I was taken aback by it."

Naruto couldn't help but scowl. "He doesn't look anything like Sai!" Then he frowned. "I didn't know pretty boys were your type."

"Oh, hush. I'm not going to apologize for thinking beautiful and handsome men are beautiful and handsome."

"…Do I fall under either of those?"

Sakura gave him a once over. "You're pretty handsome, yeah. There was this one time, after you washed dirt off your face from when you and Kiba were wrestling around outside, and you looked…pretty. Even though you were shaking your head like a wet dog. And you pick on Kiba for doing stuff like that." She shook her head.

"Hey! Kiba's way worse than me!"

"Hm. I wonder…" Sakura picked up a water bottle out of her lunch bag and took a drink from it. "So?"

"So?"

"You never told me what he's like. Your roommate."

Naruto rubbed the back of his neck. "He's…fun. He can have a bit of an attitude and sometimes be distant but…when we hang out, I feel like I can be myself and not disappoint him." He paused, noticing how Sakura tensed. "Sorry, I didn't mean that to sound…"

"It's fine. There were times when I thought I wasn't doing or saying what you wanted, or even what you needed, especially when it came to your art."

"I didn't think you noticed…"

"I noticed." Sakura finished off her pineapple. "I also noticed how you stopped doing it. I…didn't know what to say about it. I didn't want to be told it was because of me…"

"It wasn't," Naruto assured her. "I just don't think I could get anywhere with it."

"_Why_?" Sakura seemed genuinely surprised at that. "Naruto…you're a good artist. I'm sorry I didn't encourage you as much as I should have. I'm…not very good with art myself. I never knew what to say other than I thought it was good. I'm trying to get better at saying more about art pieces, especially since Sai draws too. I'm trying to be more supportive."

It was weird to talk about Sai with Sakura, but at the same time felt almost…normal. Like this was the way it was meant to be between them.

"Thanks. I…I don't know. Maybe one day I'll pick it up again. Who knows, right? I'm just…enjoying where I am right now. I really like just hanging out with Sasuke in our apartment. He's…I don't know what to say. I feel like Sasuke's such a private person, I don't know what's okay and what's not okay in terms of him. He used to be so distant with me, but lately he's starting to warm up to me more and more. I'm not sure why, or what I'm doing right, but…I'm happy." Happy was an understatement, but for some reason he was a bit embarrassed. He didn't want to appear to giddy about it. _That_ would be weird. "It's stupid, but I almost wish it didn't have to end, yanno?"

Sakura seemed to absorb what he said, but didn't make a comment on it. Instead, she said, "It'd be nice if we could all get together one day and hang out."

Naruto couldn't hide how much he enjoyed the thought. It _must_ have shown on his face since Sakura smiled in return.

"Yeah, I'd really like that."

After Sakura ate, they explored the school grounds and reminisced. Sakura pointed out the spot where he saved her from the bullies. They talked about the games they used to play and the places they used to hide. After they were done at the park, they went to the library to drop off some books, Sakura drove. Of course, as soon as she unloaded the books in her back seat, she decided she wanted to go to the bookstore to buy some.

"It's the Ravenclaw in me. I love books," she said.

"You know, my roommate's never seen Harry Potter."

Sakura looked completely scandalized.

"_What_?!"

"That's what I said! I told him we're gonna have a marathon sometime soon!"

"For sure! What house to do you think he'd be in? Ravenclaw like me I hope."

"Nah. Totally a Slytherin."

"Hmph. Well, have him take the test and get back to me. I made Sai take it and he got Ravenclaw too." She smirked.

"Lame."

After the bookstore, they went out to dinner. It felt so _good_ to talk to Sakura again, to hang out with her normally again. When they were done with dinner, Naruto noticed how dark it was outside.

"Fuck, what time is it?!" Naruto took out his phone to look at the time. It was already nearing nine o'clock. "Ah shit, I gotta get home! I wanted to hang out with Sasuke before he passes out. I hope he's awake."

"Does he go to bed really early?" Sakura asked.

"Mm. Sometimes. If I'm not around. I think he gets bored and just sleeps it off? I don't know."

"Well, I hope he's still awake. You guys can start that Harry Potter marathon."

"Yeah. Can you take me back to his car?"

"His car? He lets you drive it?"

Naruto almost puffed his chest out in pride.

"Yep!"

Sakura laughed. "Alright, I'll take you back. Naruto?"

"Yeah?" They stopped outside of the restaurant.

"I had a lot of fun today. I hope…we can be friends again. Good friends."

"Yeah, I'd like that."

"Which means you'll have to meet Sai properly. I…hope that's okay. I wasn't sure if I should talk about him today, but…I guess I couldn't help it." Sakura blushed again. "It's all…still new, you know. I'm sorry if it got annoying."

"It didn't get annoying. It's weird. It should bother me. I feel like it should anyway. But I'm…happy, in a way. That you can do that, that I can do that. It makes me hope that…maybe we can just pick up where we left off… as friends."

"Me too."

"I was really confused about a lot of things. I was never sure about where you stood or what had happened, but…I understand it a lot better now. I feel better…knowing how you felt and that I wasn't alone in the way I did."

Sakura took hold of his hand suddenly, giving it a squeeze.

"You're a really good partner, Naruto. Whoever you end up with in the future…they're going to appreciate all of what you do for them and love you the way you deserve. The way I hope everyone deserves…and gets to feel."

Naruto had to turn away from her, embarrassed at how that made him feel.

"Thanks. Coming from you that…just…thanks."

"No problem." She let go of his hand. "What are friends for?"

**~*N*~**

By the time Naruto got home, it was late. He found Sasuke asleep on the couch. So much for spending the rest of the day together, but that was his own fault. He had lost track of time with Sakura. He couldn't help but feel a bit disappointed. He had looked forward to it on the way home. Not wanting to wake Sasuke up, he turned the TV off and, wondering if he'd get cold, went in his room to get a spare blanket, a simple wool one. It was Halloween themed and was black with a castle and pumpkins and bats and the night sky on it.

Halloween was probably Naruto's favorite holiday. He might be a bit bias though, since it was the same month as his birthday.

After he made sure he didn't wake Sasuke up by putting a blanket over him, he went back to his room and changed into some sleeping pants and a plain white t-shirt and slipped into bed himself. He grabbed his phone and checked his social media before opening up his text messages, remembering that Iruka had messaged him earlier. He had also called. He thought it was too late to call back, since Iruka went to bed early and woke up early like the old man he was.

So, clicking on Iruka's message, he went to reply.

_Hey, sorry I didn't answer. I was out with a friend. I'm doing alright. I'll call you sometime soon and catch up. Hope you had a fun summer. If working can be considered fun._

He put his phone on silent and put it on the floor next to his bed, since he didn't have a stand or anything to set it on. He had no issues going to sleep after that, feeling a bit drained and weirdly exhausted considering he wasn't lacking for sleep.

When he fell asleep, he had that dream again. A dream where he was running around, searching for something, or someone. He ran aimlessly through the streets. He saw Sakura's house on his run…and passed it.

She wasn't who he was looking for.

But he didn't find it in this dream either. He spent the entire night running aimlessly.

* * *

I was expecting Sakura and Naruto's encounter to be way more dramatic than it was. I had even planned it! Alas, when they got together they just wanted to hang and…I think we can see how they got together and why it was hard for them to let it go. They know each other well and get along well together. It's like that saying, how when you're good friends with someone, no matter how much time passes, when you see each other again it's as if nothing has changed. That's how I wanted that to feel in the end, because they're good friends. Always have been. Not that they'll go back to being besties who hang out all the time after this, but they're on a good path.

Thanks for the reviews: **kristina5454**, **ArcticIllustrator**, **berry5tz**, and **ColorfulNympho**

**berry5tz:** Aww, Ino doesn't know about Sasuke's past tho. XD She just appreciates a handsome man and is very obvious about it. Plus I wanted to keep her attraction to him in this fic since it's canon in the manga. And yes, Naruto is getting very good at reading Sasuke. He's starting to pay close attention to Sasuke and how he reacts to things so that he can better understand him. No worries! You still r&amp;r super fast and I'm always happy to read the reviews whenever they come. ^_^ As for the new fic, it'll be NaruSasu(Naruprobably) and it'll have the genres: romance, supernatural, horror, and mystery. At least, I hope it'll be mysterious! It's like a murder mystery with a supernatural or…fantasy(?) element in there (no ghosts!) and ofc romance between Naruto and Sasuke.


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